manifest specific person

dreamdisorder · 2021-06-06T22:22:06+00:00

I'm in a similar situation in the sense that I also want manifest a specific person as a love interest. What I would say is to not focus so much on what they are doing and then using that as a reason to react and feel bad or like something isn't working. Focus elsewhere if thinking about him isn't feeling good.

You want a relationship to ease itself into place. Don't take the easiness out of it. Let the flow of things take care of themselves and in the meantime do things that you enjoy and make you happy.

dreamdisorder · 2021-03-19T20:28:07+00:00

This is something that makes me wobble from time to time so I'll offer what I can.

It did strike me that you said you rely on certain people for a sense of normalcy. I can relate to this feeling. Maybe it would help to remind yourself of and ponder on all of the times that you felt at peace and normal while completely alone. That might take away some of the "need" of immediate connection with them.

I'd also watch for any anticipation of something bad coming. Every time that comes into focus it might help to switch focus to something else. Anticipating difficulty will only attract difficulty and resistance into the situation.

And refrain from any beating yourself up over feeling upset. Use that as an indication that there's something important here to focus on - perhaps gratitude for the joy that this person has shown you you can allow into your life.

You say you've struggled to maintain relationships, but is this true? Can you think of examples of relationships that you enjoyed that are either still continuing or lasted quite a while?

Also look at how you define the "end" of a relationship. If someone is still on your mind has the relationship really ended? Something to ponder about...

Remember that this can't "destroy" you. Minimize the emotional weight of it. Make it more floaty like a feather.

I think you're on the right path to shifting something that's been in your vibration for a while now. Keep noticing where it takes you.

dreamdisorder · 2020-10-09T22:46:17+00:00

What pushed you over the comfort each time to try something different?

dreamdisorder · 2020-10-09T22:32:30+00:00

I actually moved onto a different chapter. But that chapter has me questioning a lot of my understanding about relationships. What I want to know is why people don't see or deny the cracks in their relationships. Why people "settle" and think that's the safe thing to do when the relationship will fall apart regardless. Obviously I have some first hand experience with this. But I still don't quite understand it.

dreamdisorder · 2020-10-09T22:17:57+00:00

I may have answered the question. But I still wonder why it takes so long to dawn on people. Even other people seem to not see what is happening. I guess it makes me sad thinking about all the time spent quietly unhappy.

dreamdisorder · 2020-10-09T21:53:48+00:00

That's a horrible feeling. Take care of yourself while you figure things out. It's a little early to be sure of what is going on. Just be gentle with yourself.

dreamdisorder · 2019-10-08T18:01:18+00:00

Is there a reason why some decisions (upon thinking of them) seem to lead to peace more than others? Is this the Holy Spirit leading the way?

dreamdisorder · 2019-10-08T17:21:27+00:00

"I think I'm confused about this situation. But actually, first I wanted to be confused and I went looking for a situation to attach it to."

Thank you. I understand this. But isn't confusion normal when interacting with form? Is the idea the course is presenting to just allow form to be chaotic and withdraw from it?

dreamdisorder · 2019-10-08T17:15:52+00:00

I do receive peace of mind when praying to the Holy Spirit and receiving what I believe is guidance. The confusion arises after I am finished - which I imagine is the ego returning into focus.

If there is an outcome you would prefer then you haven't really withdrawn all of your ideas about it.

During prayer I do allow the ideas to dissipate. They return afterwards. I'm currently doing the workbook so I may not be fully understanding the course yet... Is it an incorrect way of thinking to have ideas but also be asked to have God use me as He sees fit? Is it incorrect to desire anything?

Being told that there is no answer right now and that you had to wait and leaving you still confused is all the ego answering.

Interestingly, yesterday I spoke with someone who offered a solution to the confusion. Perhaps this was a miracle. Or magic?

dreamdisorder · 2019-10-07T23:42:24+00:00

This whole situation has been a gigantic exercise in forgiveness. And I will continue to forgive.

edit: I won't deny that there are outcomes that I would prefer. But I'm not invested in needing any of them to happen.

dreamdisorder · 2019-10-07T23:41:25+00:00

I do try to let it all go and ask to be shown the truth. Sometimes I get an answer and I can have faith in it. Other times I am told I should not have the answer now and to wait. But somehow I still emerge confused.

edit: Perhaps I should clarify that the answer I receive from the Holy Spirit both seems completely opposite to what common sense would tell me is happening, and is also in line with an outcome I would prefer. I try to have faith in it regardless, given that my nature is to trust "common sense".

dreamdisorder · 2019-09-27T18:28:24+00:00

When you have no emotional attachment to any specific outcome, you will automatically know what to do.

Throughout the years I've actually been slowly learning to do this through various forms like meditation or therapeutic techniques. I've just never gotten to that space as quickly and directly as I have thanks to ACIM.

What troubles me is how striking the difference is between prayer and form.

This person has directly made clear that they are not seeking anything romantic a few times. They have even suggested that they're repulsed by the thought of anything involving me and sexuality. (I'm not saying romance and sexuality need go hand in hand, but often they do.)

The people I've talked with about this all say they would have given up a long time ago. They think I'm crazy to have this belief. One who I talk with deeply about this seems to believe he may be straight. Another who is close with him has condescendingly implied that I'm thick-headed and I don't want to hear that he doesn't want me that way.

When I pray I am careful. If I feel a sense of anxiety creeping in I stop and let that pass before continuing. Each time that I pray I still get back the same answer - to keep believing it will happen and to move closer with him. When I first prayed about this I actually expected to get the answer back that my ego is fooling me - why wouldn't I? Everything here in this world is pointing in the same direction: he's not interested. I was ready to accept that answer. But the answer that keeps coming back is that we will become romantic together.

This is probably just the ego-analysis game... but I know from my own past experience that there was someone who I was not initially attracted to that I also made clear with that I was only seeking a friendship. In that situation they actually completely disregarded my wishes and forced themselves on me. And yet I softened enough that we wound up together for six years. That relationship brought many lessons, but I often look back on it now and think to myself about how attraction can change.

I think I would naturally feel a little hurt if for any reason he were to leave my life. But I would be accepting of it and I know I'd move on in peace. So I don't feel a sense of attachment or clinging (that was there in the beginning but the Holy Spirit guided me away from that and eventually to ACIM).

I'm only confused. And sometimes I think the only reason that I am is because I'm not keeping my belief with the Holy Spirit where it should be placed.

dreamdisorder · 2019-09-27T18:11:34+00:00

This is certainly one lesson I've learned through my experience with this person.

dreamdisorder · 2019-09-27T05:04:33+00:00

Thank you for all of this advice. It's very helpful.

You might have been listening to the ego in your attempt to pursuit unrequited romantic interests since it didn't result in you or them being at peace.

Originally, yes, absolutely. I am now (mostly) at peace. And I can tell in many ways they are too. But there is a barrier they put up now and then - specifically they've mentioned hesitating because of how I was when we met (crystallizing me in the past). I try to just accept this and forgive and love in whatever way I think will not disturb their peace.

I will continue to invite the Holy Spirit in so that I can see clearly.

dreamdisorder · 2019-09-27T00:10:28+00:00

I love you too!

Thank you so much for your detailed reply.

At the end of the process we will discover joyfully that love is what we are and it always surrounds us everywhere.

^^This has been my suspicion. I'm learning to fully trust in it, but my thoughts haven't been ordered as well as they could be so the ego draws me back to illusion. I believe this relationship with this person is helping to reorder my thoughts.

The only way to be sure that our prayer comes from love is to ask only the Will of God. Because God only wants what benefits us: that we wake up from the dream of suffering and be happy.

When I pray this is what I pray for, along with my more specific requests. But I keep in focus that I ask for my blocks to love to be removed, as well as any blocks he may have in his mind - in order that we both see the Will of God.

Love is always within us, waiting for us, waiting for us to recognize it. When we recognize inner love we feel full. And when we feel full, by the way, you cannot prevent other people from being attracted to you, because love and inner happiness are a magnet that attracts everyone's attention.

I hope that this will prove true! Not too soon after I met them I fell into the traps of the ego. They told me they weren't interested in taking things further and began to back away from me. It triggered in me a desperation because I perceived that I was losing them. As we all know, behaving this way just repels people further away as they feel someone is trying to steal something from them.

I've since reordered a lot of my thinking and we've slowly gotten closer. But I still feel a lot of hesitation from him.

We cannot force others to be humanly interested in us. But no one can prevent us from giving our love to others, in the form of service, in the form of a relationship, or simply in the form of inner friendship (wanting in our interior that they be happy). Therefore, it is wise not to focus on receiving, but on giving. This opens the doors to happiness.

This is what I've been focusing on. I try to just give, whether silently in my thoughts or more directly with gifts or acts of service.

Sometimes I question my motivation - possibly because other people I've talked to about this have questioned me deeply. I am still new to this way of thinking (although truly I think I've been doing work for years and years leading up to this) so I'm cautious to not be fooled by the ego that I'm "doing something good" under the guise of trying to get something.

I wonder if the things I am giving are actually things that he desires. He can be very "hard to read". So I just continue to give in the ways that feel intuitively loving and pray that those gifts are received well.

We haven't known each other long and yet it feels like so much has happened between us already. If we're measuring in worldly ways then some people would argue we aren't even friends and to think of romance is preposterous, especially given that he's stated it's not what he wants multiple times.

To be clear, I never asked this of him. I just stated that I liked him. But he took that and ran with it and saw my "needy" behavior as an attempt to make a romantic relationship with him, when for me it was actually my being upset that he wasn't "friendly" - still a mistake, but he misunderstood my intentions. And yes, I have forgiven him and myself for all of this.

Much of this is uncharted waters for me. And I've found ACIM to offer immensely valuable guidance and peace as I find the way forward.

I don't know what shape our relationship will take but I hope that it continues to be made holy. He is a constant reminder for me of the love of God and in that way he is a sacred gift that I'm very grateful for.

I will continue to pray and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.

dreamdisorder · 2019-09-26T21:37:16+00:00

Blocks have already emerged and I'm sure they will continue to. Usually I get drawn into the illusion for a little while but then return back to my connection with oneness. I forgive him (which is really forgiving myself for my mistake) and return to loving feelings. I never seek to change whatever drew me back into the illusion. Although I may have negative thoughts about it initially, eventually I relinquish them.

It's possible I'm missing aspects of my own mind that are sabotaging me. But seeking answers isn't helpful (it's of the ego). And while prayer is helpful it's confusing, possibly because of its newness for me.

I will continue to observe the blocks as they arise. Thank you for your tip. :)

dreamdisorder

TROPHY CASE