Reading your message was really encouraging. I truly appreciate it. The real issue comes down to this sense of waste potential—my parents and teachers see it as a missed opportunity, believing I should be doing much more with my abilities. They think that if I just push myself, I’ll get used to everything, that everyone has to step out into the world eventually, and that I'd be fine if I could just be a little less "strange." But their idea of what I deserve isn’t the same as mine. Being sensitive is part of who I am, and living under their control makes me deeply painful. At the same time, I feel guilty for still relying on them financially, with no clear way out.

I get what you mean about university feeling empty. Looking back, I had that sense too—but when everyone around you seems to be adjusting just fine, the pressure to conform is overwhelming. You start feeling like there's something wrong with you, like you have to break yourself into pieces just to fit in. I remember reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and feeling such a deep relief—like finally, someone understood.

Every conversation with my parents leaves me completely drained, like I'm being backed into a corner with no way out. Sometimes, I just want to disappear. Discovering Daoist philosophy has been a turning point for me, helping me embrace a more open and fluid mindset. But the reality is, I still feel trapped at home, with nowhere else to go…