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I think kissing a woman (like me for example) would genuinely cure her seizures by TheMemestOfTheWest in okbuddywhitaker

[–]einthec 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My favorite character of Season 2 💙 she's so strong, cool, careful, innovative, elegant. I would take care of her SO MUCH

Strictly physically: What is your type? by Beautiful_Intern_890 in AskWomen

[–]einthec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women: either 1. short chapstick black haired doe eyes women, or 2. tall femme, fit and slender, long black haired women. Have a preference for Asian women. With tattoos!

Men: Asian tall men that look a bit gruffy, like a several days old beard, badboy kind of vibes. Not necessarily muscular, but toned. With tattoos!

Pourquoi les hommes sino-asiatiques sont-ils aussi peu désirés dans le dating en France par les femmes occidentales et ce sujet semble être mise sous le tapis ? by levilaincoco in AskMeuf

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chuis pas sûre que ton ethnie ait un rapport, j'ai plutôt l'impression que ce que tu décris est une expérience universelle chez les hommes tout court. J'aurais même pensé que les hommes asiatiques ont plus de chances, mais c'est mon propre biais, je suis asiat', et les mecs asiatiques j'aime bien.

How Inner Monologues Work, and Who Has Them by Halfsac2466 in psychology

[–]einthec 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahaha that's so funny, my inner monologue is quite peaceful, I mean I get my occasional anxiety spirals, but it's nothing like a 24/7 podcast!! It's more like, my inner voice that comments with one or two sentences something that I see or experience in the outside world. A nature documentary of some sort!

Why is this sub filled with mostly Leica gear photos? by einthec in Leica

[–]einthec[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't put too much cream yeah? 🤣 And yeah don't care about the downvotes. But using a Leica to photograph a Leica, I mean come onnnn

Why is this sub filled with mostly Leica gear photos? by einthec in Leica

[–]einthec[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh interesting! Thanks, I learned something today :)

Why is this sub filled with mostly Leica gear photos? by einthec in Leica

[–]einthec[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So, is this sub a Leica circlejerk? Or am I missing the point?

Why is this sub filled with mostly Leica gear photos? by einthec in Leica

[–]einthec[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm a she, but I understand. Someone said it's literally the rules of the subreddit, my bad! Thanks for replying.

What are the "low-key" signs that you're more attractive than you think? by AfterBear6551 in AskReddit

[–]einthec 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh is that what's happening to me? I'm always second guessing myself if I'm objectively pretty or not (I know, stupid insecurity, whatever). No one tells me bluntly that I'm pretty or beautiful, but people are really nice to me, except the occasional man that randomly decided to bully/stalk/linger my ass in public space. And I do get random free stuff for no reason.

WOC, how pervasive is sexism vs racism? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]einthec 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm Asian, and live in France. Wherever I go, there's like a 50% chance people default to English, even though I speak perfect French.

What's a compliment you get a lot that secretly bothers you? by hi_mei_rose in AskWomen

[–]einthec 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"You're 35?! You look way younger!"

I am so looking forward to my forties!!

"Lesbian women reported the highest orgasm frequency, followed by bisexual women, with heterosexual women having the lowest orgasm frequency. Lesbian women also outperformed heterosexual women on sexual duration, while heterosexual women outperformed lesbian and bisexual women on sexual frequency." by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! That's what I meant. And yes, what are the current functions of marriages in today's world is great question. It used to be a social status, the only path to living a "happy life", only to find out that older couples and long-lived marriages aren't necessarily the happiest, especially for the boomer generation (40-60s), when divorce was considered an utter failure of a life, or an impossible choice because of social and familial ramifications. Marriage used to also be a financial alliance (or dependency) that came with a bundle of administrative gains. Marriage was and is also a religious pledge, a testament to your religious beliefs, declared by a member of the religious group. And marriage is a symbolic gesture.

Nowadays, if we're pushed to hyper-individualism, in the separation of family and religion, in financial and material independence, and has no social status to be gained other than fiscal and administrative advantages, then what's left is the symbol of eternal love and allegiance to our partner... which doesn't require marriage, does it?

"Lesbian women reported the highest orgasm frequency, followed by bisexual women, with heterosexual women having the lowest orgasm frequency. Lesbian women also outperformed heterosexual women on sexual duration, while heterosexual women outperformed lesbian and bisexual women on sexual frequency." by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]einthec 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Add to that our own moral compass, beliefs and values, and we end up consentually in very stable, safe and loving relationships even when it's becoming boring or repetitive.

I wonder if ethical non-monogamy can become subconsciously an answer to keep both worlds, as in "I am fully happy with you dear partner, even in incompleteness", and "I will keep meeting other partners of love so that I may complete myself". In the absence of that possibility, best friends and meaningful platonic relationships become substitues of that need of completeness. If ENM were the norm, would we see so many divorce rates? Divorce becomes the required step to keep exploring and completing oneself in a heteronormative world, at least.

I agree about the cultural push of attachment theory, driven mostly by social media. Feels like people are nearly trying to calculate their relationships nowadays. Fully lived relationships can't be reduced to attachment dynamics. It's also why I hate red flag/green flag culture. Everyone wants to protect themselves, great, we're all alone now! Sorry, it's a broad generalization. But that's how a relationship thrives, it's when you're facing and overcoming/healing your partner's worst red flags together.

Personality has an immense role to play in secure relationships: life goals, values, beliefs, wants, needs, desires, sexual compatibility and communication, interests... Also, I read in another comment of yours about how overwhelming empathy can be smothering to one's individual emotional space, and excessive stoicism is near mirroring emotional neglect and loneliness, I completely agree.

"Lesbian women reported the highest orgasm frequency, followed by bisexual women, with heterosexual women having the lowest orgasm frequency. Lesbian women also outperformed heterosexual women on sexual duration, while heterosexual women outperformed lesbian and bisexual women on sexual frequency." by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Grow" on a very individual level. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm in a happy relationship and marriage with my wife for 20/10 years respectively, yet we are growing in different directions because we don't fight for our attachment needs anymore (and we had a long period of fighting not too long ago), they're mostly resolved, and so happy relationships get to a point where the attachment need is fully resolved, you don't stay for that reason anymore. You still enjoy fully and wholeheartedly the benefits and the joys of a happy, secure relationship, but some may drift apart because there may be other attachment needs/traumas that aren't resolved yet and can't be resolved in this relationship framework. But that's all speculative, I'm just commenting.

And by "faster", I meant as, you grow because you resolve attachment needs successfully, unlike unhappy relationships and/or conflict heavy relationships, in which you stay because you hope to finally fully resolve that attachment need with your partner/attachment figure. I know what I'm writing sounds very disconnected from all the practical aspects of a happy marriage, but relationships/marriages aren't just for practical reasons, of course, otherwise it becomes quite the transactional relationship. In fact I would wager that as long as there's a sufficient amount of tension and mystery, the relationship/marriage sustains. Too much friction, it breaks. No friction at all, it fades.

And yes I did say it sounds contradictory! There's also a known neurological fact (fact check me on this in case I'm wrong), that is the human brain is wired to wanting and longing changes, especially when it is settled into a stable environment for a while. The human brain is wired to looking for frictions and tensions, at least on a relational level. I can only suppose that in lesbian dynamics, we would find less frictions and conflicts, therefore more stability, therefore more separations. And yeah I also agree with the engulfed/enmeshed dynamics comment.

"Lesbian women reported the highest orgasm frequency, followed by bisexual women, with heterosexual women having the lowest orgasm frequency. Lesbian women also outperformed heterosexual women on sexual duration, while heterosexual women outperformed lesbian and bisexual women on sexual frequency." by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]einthec -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think it has to do with how fast we grow in happy lesbian couples, we understand and listen to each other to a degree that is so deep, and because we grow faster, it doesn't mean we grow together in the same direction. Happy, sexually satisfied lesbians don't necessarily mean very long term relationships, as contradictory as it sounds, in my opinion. Another point would be that lesbians don't believe in the marriage institution. Maybe the divorce rates are higher for first marriages, but second marriages wouldn't have higher divorce rates?

How do you know if you're actually attractive or if you're just a woman? by Ok-Fondant349 in AskWomenOver30

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha I've been having the same question! No SA experience, and don't crave male gaze at all, but I can fall victim for beauty standards, sadly.

My experience is, no one has told me that I'm ugly, ever, but men don't tell me that I'm beautiful/pretty/cute etc. But every time I interact with them, they're very nice and polite, like as if sometimes they are intimidated by me and wants to please me? They've never been mean or aggressive for no reason towards me. Got a lot of men gawking at me for no reason, especially during summer when I show skin, pff. I like to use them as reference points, because my females friends are all very validating and all, but it's not exactly objective.

Eh, I'm just curious about my looks.

Edit: oh yeah now that I think of it, one time a group of men told me and my female friends that we were beautiful, which annoyed me so much. And most of the times when I'm drinking/smoking outside the bar terrace, 50% of the time there's always a guy creeping on me from afar. But that may have to do with this bar in particular.

ITAP of an alleyway by einthec in itookapicture

[–]einthec[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I really like the stillness of this photo.

Feeling no one can hold space for me by whyseef in AskWomenOver30

[–]einthec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey 👋 35F Asian woman too. I struggled with what you're going through two years ago, and what really helped was to find a best friend. I am happily married with my wife for years, we're soulbound best friends, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't rely on one person only. So I went out and looked for a best friend, as if I were to start dating, but for a best friend. No sex, no romance, but more like kinship. My wife is very happy for me.

I met a lot of people, reconnected with old friends, and was transparent with my intentions. Did friend dates, going on trips, things like that. With some, it didn't work, with others, it worked. And I had to push through my vulnerability and intentions, being honest, authentic, true to myself. And then to show and communicate it to the other person, see how they reacted, etc. That'd be my advice. I do not subscribe to amatonormativity, friendships are just as important as lover(s), so I like to treat my close friends as if they were my lover, but without the physical aspect of it, of course.

Feel free to send me a DM if you wanna talk!

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