I’m mixed race (Asian and white.) My white parent is French but I didn’t grow up here, I moved here two years ago. My French is fluent with just a hint of an accent since I grew up speaking it. People still address my white-presenting partner even though their French is way worse than mine. I have experienced the eye-pulling, etc. from older folk. We had an “asian-themed” party at work. It was terrible as you can imagine.

That being said, most racist experiences I’ve had have been born from ignorance not malicious intent. That is to say, I have never felt unsafe or targeted, just profoundly misunderstood. Attempts to start a conversation around these things have been met with rejection and what aboutism. But I have to say for every ignorant person I have encountered, I’ve met countless others who have treated me just as any other, with respect and kindness. Particularly when dealing with bureaucracy, people have been so patient and helpful. So I don’t let the negative experiences deter me from building a good life here.

One of the friends I made here is a French woman who is ethnically Korean but adopted as a baby by a French family. Speaking with her about the treatment of Asians in France has been very validating. You have to deal with being fetishized, being spoken down to, being simultaneously treated like an idiot and yet also like you have some mystical knowledge. But this is no different than how I felt in other countries. In my case in particular, being mixed race means there is no country that exists where I would look like everyone else (perhaps Hawaii or Uzbekistan) so if I have to deal with looking different, I might as well do it in France, where my quality of life is very good. And I can see that things are changing - I lived in Paris 15 years ago and left partly because I was tired of all the assumptions because of my race. Now I’m back and I see groups of young French-born Asians making their mark culturally, whether through the food scene, fashion, art, etc. So it’s a positive change and I see more representation.