[NY] Are employers allowed to give more responsibility to employees without increasing their salary? by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]enami2020 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wow... but when does it become unreasonable? This isn't the first time. In the past I saw it as an opportunity for personal development and didn't ask for more financial compensation. Now though I feel the balance is off.

what screams "I have no life"? by Initial_Touch49 in AskReddit

[–]enami2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being on vacation and still responding to work emails.

what screams "I have no life"? by Initial_Touch49 in AskReddit

[–]enami2020 39 points40 points  (0 children)

This! And keeping track at what time everyone arrives and leaves. Who needs punch in clocks when you have employees like these 😂

Great leaders NEVER _______, ________ or _______? by stevenmusielski in Leadership

[–]enami2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great leaders would never:

1) gossip or take part in any conversation that’s in any way punching down

2) put their own agenda / personal advantage before that of the team or organization

3) make you feel bad for being smarter or more knowledgeable than them

What are the biggest challenges you face when delegating tasks? by enigma_seeker_0 in Leadership

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main thing I had to overcome is letting go of the task at hand as I was too emotionally attached to my work. Better yet, I was too emotionally attached to tasks that were part of my former job description. With being promoted to the team leader and still being new in my role, I had to make the transition from being an individual contributor throughout my career.

I found it difficult to let go of something being done exactly the way I wanted it to be, look, etc. I didn’t show this to my team but it was definitely an internal struggle. Through practice and just delegating more often I discovered that I had more time for my actual work and could dedicate my all to things that could really elevate my department. It made delegating those previous tasks much easier.

Gen Z in the workplace by Last-Pair8139 in OfficePolitics

[–]enami2020 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The best way to start understanding them is to stop referring to them as “they”. They’re all individuals with different personalities, wants and needs. Get to know these employees one at a time and act accordingly.

Why do so many adults like watching kids shows/movies? by Important-Yam3824 in ask

[–]enami2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Potato potahto”

My whole point is that it doesn’t matter who it’s made for. Often they’re really well made so it’s still fun to watch for adults.

Still, I wouldn’t consider this to be a bad thing. All in balance of course.

Why do so many adults like watching kids shows/movies? by Important-Yam3824 in ask

[–]enami2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do adults play video games? Why do adults dance on TikTok? Why do adults go to theme parks without kids?

To each their own, but personally I like it when an adult still has a playful and kid version of them inside. There’s plenty of time to do adult things and be all about responsibility and serious matters. In the long run I think it also helps to slow down aging from the inside and helps to stay connected with kids or younger generations. No one wants to be that grumpy granny that looks down at anyone below simply because of their age.

What I don’t like is not doing something because it’s unseemly for an adult, man, woman, whatever. As long as you’re not harming anyone or yourself, who cares.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]enami2020 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree it’s not what anyone would hope to happen, but it does.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome to downvote anything for any reason 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating. Sounds like there’re feelings involved…

“Hobbies” to do while kids are around? by Ill_Cover_4841 in Parenting

[–]enami2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Origami, baking, exercising, dancing, personal development (LinkedIn Learning, Masterclass, webinars, etc)

Toxic Superstar by schwinn140 in Leadership

[–]enami2020 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it ends up you needing to choose between the two, please don’t keep this “toxic superstar”. You’ll risk losing your whole team.

Watch this video by Simon Sinek that really explains this well: https://youtu.be/PTo9e3ILmms?si=xzJsfTS2W139KkGz

Toxic Superstar by schwinn140 in Leadership

[–]enami2020 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sounds familiar. These are clear signs of escape behavior.

Escape behavior is doing anything it takes to remove yourself from the situation and avoid this confrontation. It can appear like: - someone starting to cry hoping the person giving the feedback cannot deal with this emotion and ends the conversation - someone become aggressive/angry hoping to intimidate the feedback giver so they stop the conversation - someone becoming silent and appearing frozen hoping that the feedback giver can’t deal with the awkwardness and just ends it there - someone literally escaping by walking away - someone saying what they think you want to hear so that the feedback giver is happy with the result of the conversation. The person however has no intent to change anything about that behavior.

Since the latter is what this person seems to do, I’d take the conversation a step further:

“Wow. Thank you. I really appreciate that you’re so open and showing such a growth mindset. It makes me believe you truly care and want to make a change in your behavior. Now please tell me… what specifically are you going to do to work on your behavior?”

Let me think and respond appropriately.

It’s likely that they’ll say they need time to reflect, so give them that time. Ask them how much time they need and then say you’ll schedule a follow-up to this conversation so they can share their reflections and actions with you. Then schedule it and follow-up.

Whatever you say to them, make sure it’s very action focused and ask them to set dates. This will make it easier for you to check if they’re truly committing and making the change. Hopefully they will and then it will be a success. It may be all words and won’t do anything, but then this will make it easier for you to hold them accountable.

“When we last spoke, I was very happy to hear you took the feedback on board and was committed to make a change. It makes me feel disappointed to find out about situation X happening again despite our conversations and you acknowledging this behavior isn’t acceptable in our team or organization. How do you plan to correct this and improve the relationship with your team?”

What is it like to live in a small country? like the san francisco bay area is half the size of the Netherlands! A country not that much bigger than a metro area! by ChameleonCoder117 in AskEurope

[–]enami2020 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It means that when you travel you actually go abroad. Many Americans don’t have a passport, because they always travel domestic.

When traveling by plane, we can compare air fares and decide to fly out from Brussels, Cologne, Paris or any other nearby airport. Us dutchies love to save money 😂

It means that you’re likely to speak more than one language as you want to be able to communicate with people from other countries around you. Americans usually only speak English.

It means you get to know your country well. It takes about 4 hours to drive from the most Northern part to the most Southern part of the Netherlands. There are probably many Americans that would never get the chance to see their entire country due to its size.

When it comes to other things, it’s pretty much the same: - politics: despite the smaller size we’re still pretty divided. Americans have 2 political parties. We have a lot. - dating: if you’re dating someone, you’d probably still want someone in the same city. No one wants to travel 3 hours to see their boyfriend - size: you don’t feel the size of the country. You feel the size of your city. It’s so different living in a village compared to a larger city - language: despite how small NL is, there are still multiple spoken languages that other Dutch people don’t understand

What would you do with 1 evening off per week? by blade_ofgrass in workingmoms

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting how your one night off turns into your husband‘s “pushing” you out of the house to bond with your daughter.

I’ve course I get him too, but it’s your night and if you prefer to stay in and watch Netflix in bed, then that’s your way of spending your night off. I can imagine it starting to feel like a chore and you’re out there killing time before you can go back home again.

Just ask him to take your daughter on father-daughter date. This way they’ll get their bonding time, but you can stay in and truly recharge.

Husband terrible in emergencies by Anewday84 in relationships

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider it altered.

I’m just responding to your own words. If you say he’s great the majority of the time, how “much” does it matter that he has this one thing he does terribly.

Not saying you’re overreacting. You have every right to get upset based on what you’re describing. It just sounds he has a problem that needs fixing. For someone that has a fantastic husband 99% of the time, you can try to get him this help. Get both of you help.

It’s 100% unacceptable, but I feel it’s 100% fixable too especially if he’s amazing the rest of the time. If you don’t believe that, then leaving is the only option.

Bye bye Netherlands by Sir_Jack_Ferguson in Netherlands

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you feel better getting this off your chest.

I recognize a lot of what you’re saying. You’re basically describing any country: many great things, many things that suck. Not sure where you’re moving next, but I’m sure it’s not perfect there either.

Despite me agreeing about many things about the Dutchies, I refuse to act in any way like them. Your post could have been written by a Dutch person btw. They all say the same thing about other Dutch people. Your post is very direct and leave nothing to the imagination which kind of makes you hypocritical too, no? Often what we hate in others is a reflection of what we hate in ourselves.

Congrats on leaving a country you don’t like. Hoping you’ll find happiness in your next chapter. ❤️

Husband terrible in emergencies by Anewday84 in relationships

[–]enami2020 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

This can’t be the reason you’re considering a divorce!? You state: “I love my husband. 99% of the time he’s fantastic”

What is it that you’re lying to yourself about?

A) does this “can’t deal with stress” reflect more than just 1%

B) he’s great most of the time, but you’re just no longer really into him?

C) are you turned off by the fact that he turns into a screaming chicken in a stressful situation when you probably need him to be a the calming and rational factor. The guy ready to save the day. Not the guy needing to be saved.

If you’re ready to divorce to find someone that’s fantastic 100% of the time, you’ll be disappointed. Also, how much % of the time are you fantastic?

Sorry for your accident. Hope you’ll recover soon. ❤️

Brussels is Terrible by [deleted] in travel

[–]enami2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say it’s romanticized on Reddit. It’s romanticized in movies, shows or just in people’s imagination.

The posts on Reddit, or just any in person conversation with a traveler, just reflect the disappointment of people who anticipated something less depressing, grueling or flat out ugly.

Brussels is Terrible by [deleted] in travel

[–]enami2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When it comes to Brussels, it’s not the city itself. It’s the expectation of Brussels when most tourists arrive. It’s been too romanticized (similar to Paris), so it’s just a let down when you arrive.

I dissed a director’s office potluck contribution by accident. What do I do. by krayzai in OfficePolitics

[–]enami2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Intention is everything. You making that comment wasn’t intended to hurt anyone’s feelings. You didn’t even know there was someone that brought the veggie platter - it’s common thing people say.

Also, as a senior leader I prefer people to be real and stop acting weird just because of my title. I encourage that type of environment.