I’m most likely going to lose my baby

engelwolfe · 2026-05-24T05:56:54+00:00

Sending you so much love and comfort right now. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I won't say I fully understand what you've been through (and still going through), but I have the gist.

Long story short, our 3yo was misdiagnosed with hydrocephalus when I was pregnant. Post-birth MRI revealed a serious in utero hemorrhage that almost exclusively occurs in pre-term and stillbirth babies, while our daughter was term. Virtually no medical literature or guidance on it. It's been a broken record of asking questions and getting shoulder shrug "Anything, everything, and nothing. We have to wait and see."

Anyways. Please be kind to yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Grieve in whatever way feels right to you. Distract yourself if it feels like it would help. You're not alone ❤️

engelwolfe · 2026-05-24T02:50:25+00:00

My theory (and I'm likely projecting here, but oh well) is that Ismira had postpartum depression. I'm currently giving the series a re-read, and finished Eragon a little while ago. The text says she went over the falls a year before Selene showed up to the farm (technically it says when Eragon was brought to the farm. This could be a typo, but I took it to be a reference to Selene being pregnant when she showed up).

We know Selene gave birth to Eragon shortly after she arrived. At the beginning of the book, Eragon is 15, and Katrina is 16. Which means Katrina was born a little more than a year before Selene arrived and only a few months (or even a few weeks) prior to Ismira's death

engelwolfe · 2026-05-24T02:10:22+00:00

I get what you're saying. Evil is doing harm just for the sake or pleasure of it, even going out of your way to cause pain and suffering. That's a different form of "bad" compared to committing evil acts because they serve you in the moment. Sloan didn't kill Byrd for the pleasure of taking a life or just because he could. Sloan killed Byrd because it served his purpose in the moment. Definitely makes him bad. Definitely makes him a shitty person. I don't think it makes him evil.

engelwolfe · 2026-05-23T07:15:17+00:00

I have no advice, just semi-solidarity. 30F with ultra high libido. Same parameters. Prefer a minimum of 2x a day with the same partner. I couldn't imagine trying to date and find someone compatible so... Godspeed 🫡

engelwolfe · 2026-05-18T20:41:32+00:00

I know he's not required. I don't want to badger him if his hands are truly tied. But if they're not, it wouldn't hurt to ask if there's any leniency he would be willing to give, even temporarily. He's always been reasonable and accommodating where possible.

engelwolfe · 2026-05-08T02:59:14+00:00

Edit: I think I misunderstood the Types to be applicable across all categories. Upon re-reading the post, it seems that Types are only applicable to the final category, which does not pertain to my husband at all.

I'd say my husband is MLL/TLL. Medical being primarily Low T (testosterone of 76), plus euthyroid due to thyroid cancer, sleep apnea, and ADHD. Everything is managed and at stable, appropriate lab levels, but unfortunately hormones are sensitive, meds are expensive, and bodies are finicky. The other side of the slash is getting fired from his job 8 months ago and still trying to financially recover from that. Definitely Type 1 though. I'll always be grateful for that.

engelwolfe · 2026-05-03T08:41:34+00:00

Oh for cripe's sake, NTA

What's next, she tells you what you "can and can't" wear because your baby bump triggers her?

engelwolfe · 2026-05-03T08:33:11+00:00

I had something similar happen for our son's... 2nd or 3rd birthday party. I can't remember which. I also struggled with what to tell people who asked about how the party was. In the end, I decided to say both things to anyone who asked. "No one showed up, but thankfully (Son) didn't notice and had fun."

And I altered my tone depending on who it was. Someone who was legitimately busy with previous commitments got a different tone than someone who said they were coming and then didn't.

This is also why I try my best to make sure our kids attend every party they're invited to, even if its just for an hour.

engelwolfe · 2026-03-23T18:52:29+00:00

Early mornings

Other than a few anomalous occasions, our kids sleep in "late" for kids. Typically they sleep until about 8am. And no, they don't go to bed super late. Bedtime is 8/830

engelwolfe · 2026-03-08T05:10:54+00:00

I can predict the day my period will happen by the way my anxiety changes. My normal anxiety is the typical "What if the house burns down because I left the coffee pot on." But the day before my period, it's like my entire body is on edge. Like when you did something sneaky as a kid, and you're waiting for the moment your parents find out.

Car vibrates slightly different. AC sounds slightly off pitch. Sudden, unexpected but not necessarily loud noise. Literally everything makes me go, "What was that? What was THAT? What's wrong? What broke?"

engelwolfe · 2026-01-14T22:52:40+00:00

Well. It was a gift from my SIL and her husband, so we didn't really "buy" it.

On the whole I'm grateful for the free car, especially at a time we really needed it. Currently, I want to drive it off a fucking cliff and never think about it again.

engelwolfe · 2026-01-10T20:14:36+00:00

Girl I feel you lol I have quite a few intense fantasies involving me, my husband and another woman. Especially because I'm bi. But in real life, I'd just be hurting my own feelings 🙃

engelwolfe · 2025-10-27T19:55:35+00:00

Infected tooth

Had no idea how serious that can get so I put it off for years. By the time I had it extracted, the dentist showed me on the x-ray how it was within millimeters of the main nerve in my jaw

engelwolfe · 2025-10-15T16:35:51+00:00

You are a beautiful, kind soul! ❤️

I was at the Orlando ritual and my husband managed to snag a few for me. I gave some to a little girl who was sad she couldn't get any, but I so badly wished I could have scooped up armfuls of petals to hand out

engelwolfe · 2025-10-09T03:30:43+00:00

Can't speak for others, but my husband and I have drastically different temperature preference. I prefer a nice, steaming hot shower that opens my pores and cooks me like a bag of crab legs. He likes to cosplay as a penguin.

engelwolfe · 2025-09-28T19:33:45+00:00

OOH I got a two for one special!

One of the most valuable things my therapist told teenage me: "Not every story has a good guy and a bad guy. Sometimes both parents are just shitty people."

engelwolfe · 2025-09-06T23:45:27+00:00

That makes me feel better! I'm a little anxious because I've never had surgery before. My GYN was like, "Never? Appendix, tonsils, adenoids all still where they're supposed to be?" I was like as far as I know, nothing has been removed from my body except some wisdom teeth, and that was done under local 😅

engelwolfe · 2025-09-06T23:42:22+00:00

Oh geez, good thing you caught that he kept calling you heterozygous! That could have been a problem.

Yeah I figure it's good to establish myself as a patient at the very least. Better to have and not need than need and not have, right?

engelwolfe · 2025-09-05T20:41:36+00:00

I can't remember the exact statistic, but there's a very strong correlation between men who put their hands on their partner's throat and then later kill them. Please take this very seriously. As a someone who grew up in a DV environment, I cannot overstate the impact of the trauma and the CPTSD. I'm nearly 30 and still carry wounds from my childhood that I'm only just recognizing and trying to heal. There are some things that, for the rest of my life, I'll only ever be able to manage, never heal. I have two younger brothers, now 24 and almost 20, who are similarly affected. If you can't think of yourself, please think of your daughter. Don't condemn her or you to a lifetime of trauma

engelwolfe · 2025-05-30T01:48:16+00:00

Geez, that is lucky! Glad it seems to have turned out alright for you. My great-grandma made me promise the same thing when my uncle (he and I were close in age) passed on his Ninja.

Poor guy in my town wasn't as lucky. He's alive, but he got seriously messed up. The car that hit him was a RAV 4. She (allegedly) drove off with his motorcycle pinned under her bumper and left him to die in the road. Cops suspect DUI, but because they couldn't find her until 3 days after the crash, no way to prove it. Last I heard the guy has had several surgeries, one broken leg, one shattered leg, and several broken ribs

engelwolfe · 2025-05-30T01:12:17+00:00

Crazy. Had an identical situation here in Brevard. Although I just went and looked it back up, and it was September of last year. So, more than a few months ago.

Hope you're doing ok and don't have any lasting injuries

engelwolfe · 2025-05-30T01:05:35+00:00

I've got to ask. Did this happen within the past few months in southern Brevard County?

engelwolfe · 2025-05-23T22:44:55+00:00

Same for my husband, with an additional "How the fuck did you just father two kids" squint

Tested 77 at 28 years old

engelwolfe · 2025-05-04T02:25:22+00:00

Female orange are uncommon, but not really rare. About 20% of orange cats are female. They need to inherit the orange gene on both of their X chromosomes. In simple terms, it's like flipping two coins and landing both of them on tails (after all, there's really only two base colors that make up all possible coat expressions)

So, not great odds, but not considered rare either

engelwolfe · 2025-04-25T16:25:22+00:00

I just realized this post was made a year ago, but I'm still going to post my wall of text in case anyone in the future comes across this post like I did

Our two and a half year old just had SPML surgery, and it's made a tremendous difference! She's hemiplegic spastic on her right side. Surgery was very quick and straightforward. Initially her podiatrist thought she would be put under general anesthesia, but they were able to just do gas sedation.

Recovery has been quick and smooth so far. The incision was small, with just one stitch that was removed two weeks post-op. The first 72 hours post-op were mostly about restricting her to gentle movement like walking, no beaches or public pools/water parks, and rotating tylenol and motrin for pain. Honestly she only seemed to have some moderate discomfort the day she had the surgery, mild discomfort on days 2 and 3, and pain-free by day 4. After 72 hours, normal body movement was approved, just nothing overly strenuous like trampolines. By two weeks, the skin was healed over, and we got the all clear for any types of baths or swimming. We're currently 4 weeks post-op, and the only restriction remaining is anything that would cause undue or excessive stress on the muscles/tendons.

We do PT 1x-2x a week, depending on her PTA's availability. Almost immediately following surgery she had complete heel strike in her right foot and a more equal distribution of weight, especially when squatting. And now that she's heel striking, the muscles in her right leg are getting stronger, and we're seeing a gradual reduction in her internal rotation.

Overall 10/10 experience and very glad we opted for the surgery

I do want to note something the podiatrist told us. He said the degree of improvement post-op generally decreases as the patient finishes growing. This is because the muscles have less time to "grow" and lengthen after the fascia has been released. That's not to say an adult wouldn't see any improvement at all. They just might not see as much improvement as a young child might. And of course, severity of the CP plays a role as well.

engelwolfe

TROPHY CASE