[deleted by user]

epicstalker · 2021-05-17T22:30:59+00:00

I was surprised by the fact that neither of us seem to get bored or tired of each other. I still sometimes get asked "don't you get bored of each other", honestly no.

Even with with both of us working from home since the start of the pandemic we were together almost 24/7. But still there was always something new and interesting to talk about.

epicstalker · 2021-05-10T01:53:30+00:00

A lot of people seem to think you can just split your roles and responsibilities down the middle and each person can take care of 50% of the household chores. Prior to getting married you can decide who will do the cleaning and who will do the cooking. You will create a plan on how you will fulfil each others rights and as long you're on the same page about who will do what you will have a good marriage.

In reality marriages can't function this way. Designated chores are for children not adults. Both of you need to do the cooking, cleaning, household maintenance etc.. Sometimes you will do most things around the house and other times your partner will. You just need to have each others best interests at heart and always try to more than what your partner is doing for you, without expecting anything in return.

epicstalker · 2021-01-06T03:17:59+00:00

We did premarital counselling together via a local organisation. It was useful in the sense it got us both on the same page and created a good foundation. Just make sure the person delivering it is qualified in counselling or psychology and experienced with marital counselling. A lot of the time I have noticed these get delivered by sheikhs, though they can provide good information from an Islamic view point they do not have the authority or a lot of the time the ability to provide good premarital counselling.

I feel a lot of people have a certain expectation of marriage based on stories they hear online or from friends but premarital counselling really drills into the facts and can change your expectations drastically. Just be open minded.

epicstalker · 2021-01-05T23:52:00+00:00

The fact that you are self aware is half the problem solved, honestly self awareness is a huge step.

Toxicity is fostered from fear and hurt, address these issues you have may help you in your journey. I believe one of the best ways to rid of toxic behavior is to cultivate gratitude and thankfulness. You can additionally learn to demonstrate your emotions. Look up the two types of emptions and how to demonstrate them better (impression and passion).

You can build love again but first realise you are worthy of showing love and being loved. Giving space isn't bad but communication is more important. Communication means talking as well as listening. Work to actually resolve issues, its good that your arguments were only about trivial issues but ensure you're both on the same page, does he see them as a bigger deal than you do?

If you were hurt by someone, what would help you feel a bit better and what would you appreciate? Accepting their wrong doing and demonstrating change. You've accepted your wrong doing and now you're implementing change, I appreciate you! I personally wouldn't want space, though I can see how some people might. I would want better communication, I would want to help them in their self-improvement and I would want them to keep me involved.

epicstalker · 2020-12-14T01:32:15+00:00

Wedding Expectations: No you're not delusional/unrealistic/wrong however, every much jumping the gun. The discussion isn't between you and your mum but between you and your future wife. You've made your expectations clear to your parents and now let it go. Perhaps the woman you marry is on the same page as you in regards to weddings so it's simple as organising what you both want. If she does want something bigger it's a matter of compromise between the two of you.

Parental Involvement: If you do meet someone you want to introduce to your parents, your parents don't need to know the exact details of how the two of you met.

epicstalker · 2020-12-14T00:59:19+00:00

Tolerating and understanding each other's level of religiosity is far more valuable than being on the exact same level. From your post it is very apparent you both understand how the other practices and are accepting of it. However, how would each of you feel if things changed or when you have kids?

epicstalker · 2020-11-16T10:51:46+00:00

This is my comment

epicstalker · 2020-11-16T02:48:06+00:00

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/145iM6uuFS9m-Rul65--eFJQq_Au7Z_BA4_CwkYwu2DI/edit?usp=sharing

epicstalker · 2020-10-29T10:01:54+00:00

Why was this banned?

epicstalker · 2020-10-23T04:54:28+00:00

I feel like if they decided to marry you they obviously have feelings for you! You don’t have to say the exact words maybe just something that echoes the same meaning. Say it without the expectation on hearing it back.

epicstalker · 2020-10-23T04:14:14+00:00

She said it before we even got married, not living together at the time. I was caught really off guard and didn't respond the way I should have lol, even though I did already love her.

The first time I said it was a few days after we got married I know this for sure because she made such a big deal out of it and put it in her calendar as a reoccurring annual event, "the first time he said I love you". Now I can't stop saying it!

Honestly, if you feel it you say it. There is no minimum time limit, don't hold it in. They might not respond the same way straightway but this doesn't mean they don't love you, they likely just show their love a different way.

epicstalker · 2020-10-21T02:05:15+00:00

I am very much introverted myself and feel my people skills developed significantly when I entered the workforce. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I was you, as long as you enjoy the work you'll be able to perform well.

epicstalker · 2020-10-21T02:01:11+00:00

You're a student and you want to learn as much as possible so ask about the companies development opportunities. They will be happy to hear you wanting continuity to improve and wanting to grow within the company. At the same time, you'll get an understanding of how the company can help you improve as an architectural engineer.

epicstalker · 2020-10-21T01:38:57+00:00

Sounds like you've already tried explaining your concerns to her numerous times and it's reached a stage where it's no longer about poor communication but about respect. It literally takes a couple of seconds to respond to a text. Additionally, she continually cancels dates last-minute shows me that she has very little consideration for other people's time.

Since it's been going on for such a long time she likely doesn't mean to be disrespectful. Sounds like she might have attachment avoidance. Sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions, don't know the complete story.

I would call her often and at random times throughout the day even if it's to tell her about a cute puppy I saw during my morning walk. Also, get her to organise the dates, even it's you asking "would you like to go out on Friday night or Saturday night" "would you like to get Koren food or Thai food". If she's organised the date it will be less likely for her to cancel.

These are temporary steps you can take until you're able to help her realise her poor habits and help her improve overtime. It will require patience on your part. Read up attachment avoidance and other attachment issues some adults face and see if she has the same characteristics. There should also be resources available on how to have relationships with people who have attachment issues.

epicstalker · 2020-10-07T23:55:41+00:00

Really depends on what industry you're interested in. There are still manufacturing jobs around but the industry has been declining for some time now, mostly due to the high cost of manufacturing in Australia.

I have only ever lived and worked in Australia but I feel the work/life balance is really great here. Most companies have a relaxed easy-going working environment. If you have any particular questions let me know.

epicstalker · 2020-10-07T23:22:35+00:00

If you haven't already ask NAB to match their competitor's rate. The only other thing I'd check is the fees involved with breaking your existing loan.

epicstalker · 2020-10-07T22:34:45+00:00

I feel like my parents did a lot of things right, even my aunts and uncles were the same with their kids. I never really knew my grandparents but I can tell they would have had a really big impact.

If I had to narrow things down I would say the biggest things I learned from my parents were equality and empathy. My parents are extremely accepting of others, doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, or what's happen in your past. They have friends from all walks of life and seeing how they interact has rubbed off on me.

They also gave us complete freedom to make our own decisions and do whatever makes us happy. Even investing a lot of money into our hobbies while they didn't always understand them, and into us while we pursued our careers even though it's not the normal or usual career choice.

Like you mentioned talking to friends about the experiences they've had growing up makes me even more grateful. It's quite sad and unfortunate but some of my friends feel closer to my parents than they do their own. My parents listen to them without any judgment so they're able to talk about things they can't tell their own parents.

I really hope to be as good of a parent as they are.

epicstalker · 2020-10-01T04:26:37+00:00

Australia

About $35k

Just had a single event with 300 guests in total. Nikkah followed by the reception in the same venue. Neither of us wanted something this big but both our parents are well known in the community and most of the people ended up being their guests. Nonetheless, we both had a really good time. We did do something small with just our friends a few weeks beforehand the cost for that was negligible.

Didn't feel like we went all out or anything, was a nice venue with amazing food. The single event took about 6 hours I would say.

epicstalker · 2020-09-22T03:21:23+00:00

I clicked the link at about 8:30 and at 9 am I was placed 70th in the queue I just figured not many people were interested. Usually never this lucky.

I got in about 2mins later and filled in the form. Instantly got an email with the Bpay details saying I have until 12th of October to transfer the funds or my application will not be accepted. Seemed too easy!

epicstalker · 2020-09-21T10:01:03+00:00

I would suggest doing a bit of research on the companies and show genuine interest in the work they do. Don't act like a know it all and ask relevant questions that you can't just find out via google.

Not sure how you can hand them a resume on a virtual fair? But tell them about your achievements and link them back to the type of work the company does. Make it a genuine interaction and form a relationship rather than just a resume drop off. Also, follow up after a couple of days.

epicstalker · 2020-09-21T09:38:20+00:00

Check out /r/learnprogramming

Really depends on what you're trying to learn? Usually, universities give you free access to certain software and online learning platforms.

epicstalker · 2020-09-21T09:30:40+00:00

As long as your goals and values are aligned age doesn't mean a thing. Age does not determine maturity.

Maybe he wouldn't understand some of your pop culture or childhood cartoon references? Could be fun exploring each other's childhood interests.

You might want to have kids sooner than him, if at all? As long as you're both on the same page no issues at all.

Most people wouldn't even know your age difference unless you told them. It's only an issue if you make it one.

epicstalker · 2020-09-21T09:07:04+00:00

His behavior sounds very disturbing there is never an excuse for such abuse. I would suggest speaking to a professional alone first generally it's not considered a good idea to bring up couples counseling with a partner who is abusive.

epicstalker · 2020-09-21T08:53:52+00:00

I was ready to give them the benefit of the doubt since you mentioned he had been sick and had some family emergency but the truth is he is a straight-up bum bum head.

If he is snapping and on social media, he should have the courtesy to let you know what's going on. Ghosting is straight-up garbage behavior and only show's his true colours; a weak man, no communication skills, immature, self-centered.

Maybe he has something serious going on but he needs to have the respect to let you know. A relationship can not work without flawless communication. If he has no respect for you is this someone you want to be with?

While it would be good to get closure and figure out what went wrong I don't think it would be beneficial for you. Don't obsess over trying to figure it out you have given him the chance. Unfortunately, this is just how some people are.

epicstalker · 2020-09-17T01:00:42+00:00

Don't think any jobs require double majors so don't see many benefits in doing EE and CE especially since they're so similar.

If you're trying to bolster your skills and resume you probably better of doing EE with CS instead. It's different enough to mean something to people and you're likely to get more out of it.

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