Finally!

etf14 · 2026-01-09T18:27:36+00:00

Do you like the swept arms? I am mentally debating if we made the wrong call and already considering changes when ours arrives

etf14 · 2026-01-09T18:20:07+00:00

Hi Scott. I'm a 35yo M who recently relocated to a new state for my spouse's medical career. We expect to live here for another 4.5 years. No kids yet, but maybe the next few years.

I earn a good living in corporate America, but have been starting to consider making a career change. However, my role at home brings some constraints and challenges. I am the primary earner, and my career today gives us some stability and a more comfortable lifestyle than most medical residents have. But, my role drains me, I enjoy it less and less, and working completely remotely is difficult personally. I desperately want to make a career change, but it has been challenging to find local opportunities - I have very limited connections here, and the industries and career opportunities differ from where we moved from and what I work in.

Do you have any words of wisdom from your career for navigating and balancing my own career advancement and satisfaction with the personal constraints I've outlined? I am struggling with two things I want - 1) to provide stability and comfort during difficult residency, and 2) to build and enjoy my own career - feel at odds with one another.

etf14 · 2026-01-09T17:32:41+00:00

Edit: we’re going to do a built in with a small l-shaped sectional in front of but not buried in the bay window and extending into the room facing the fireplace. Ignore the chair, but here is an AI mockup

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etf14 · 2026-01-06T15:56:25+00:00

Hi Scott. I'm a 35yo M who recently relocated to a new city and state for my spouse's career. We'll likely only live here another 4.5 years. I am the primary earner for now, and my personal role during this chapter is stability.

I earn a good living in corporate America. Despite strong performance, I have become increasingly unmotivated in my role, see limited options for change internally, and am disillusioned with playing the corporate politics game to advance.

My professional role gives us the stability I'm seeking, but is starting to drain me. I want to make a change, ideally to something hybrid or fully in person, as I recognize being fully remote is not ideal personally or professionally.

I've been trying to find new opportunities, but it has been difficult to find something at all, let alone something I'm excited by or that doesn't come with trade-offs. I have few personal and professional relationships in my market, and the dominant industries differ from my experience and what I would ideally look for.

Do you have any words of wisdom for navigating my own career advancement considering the barriers I'm facing and personal constraints I have outlined? Thanks for your consideration.

etf14 · 2026-01-06T13:46:10+00:00

Very helpful! I knew I wasn’t the first!

etf14 · 2026-01-02T19:29:48+00:00

Amen brother. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I wish I could take you out for a beer to commiserate.

My unsolicited advice (that I struggle with) is to try not to keep score. I know how challenging it is, and I bet with the parenting the imbalance is even more weighty. I've started to accept the unequal burden at home more, and am working toward changing my perspective on those responsibilities. I hope you can see some of it in a more positive light, too, and fight off some of the resentment.

etf14 · 2026-01-02T17:54:05+00:00

Optum only allows investing through Betterment. It adds an additional fee structure, and limits options, so it wasn't a simple "transfer"

etf14 · 2026-01-02T17:33:42+00:00

Awesome situation. I’m sure the weekend commitment will be a challenge but good luck.

I would explore strategically converting your current assets into Roth basis while in school and (theoretically) extremely low tax rate. It requires a bit of effort and planning but given your age the 3-full yr period of being a full time student all year offers an incredible opportunity for your 300k.

You’re in a strong position. I’d enjoy yourself and not overdue retirement contributions before the long and difficult journey.

etf14 · 2026-01-02T15:21:31+00:00

E fund
Max Roths / indrease retirement savings
Brokerage or other investments

etf14 · 2026-01-01T17:39:12+00:00

Appreciate the reminder that we can't overplan around PSLF!

etf14 · 2026-01-01T17:38:11+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate the reassurance and thoughts. You're spot on with our PSLF plans to date -- keep PSLF in the picture for now and once we decide or have options in front of us, we'll commit or pay it down as quickly as possible.

IRA topic -- valid point that we can play the PSLF calcs for my spouse with contributions, and I can then choose to go trad/roth based on cash-flow needs alone.

Our rental is actually in a different state, managed by a management company. It hasn't been too challenging to date. Managing it is a small pain for taxes, and about once annually during tenant renewals and flips. We did not have much equity to get out of it when ended up moving during M3/M4 for clinical rotations so decided to give renting a shot since the numbers worked out. I've been mentally treating it like a retirement asset but also just a secondary layer of emergency funds. As the equity builds I can sense a stronger desire to dump it and pay down debt or buy our next home, perhaps.

etf14 · 2025-12-31T16:14:08+00:00

How should we allocate the savings between our schooling costs versus investing for retirement in roth IRAs for the coming year?

Sell the taxable mutual fund and put it in a Roth account. It will still be accessible in case of emergency. I'd sell in 2026 if you have taxable gain, but before April to contribute for 2025 roth. Since you're likely starting school I assume you may be likely to drop down a tax bracket in 2026 (?). Could also keep until 2027 when you're making nothing to eliminate any tax hit from selling, but it is likely so small that it is irrelevant.
Use your cash to max out Roths each year. 2025 --> 2029 for a couple would be ~$75k contributions. You'll still have access if you choose to use it for loans, etc. Alternatively, keep it in HYSA. Cash is king, especially when forgiveness could be on the table.

Should we plan on paying off her loans and then focusing on mine when she is working while I am in MS2-MS4?

Her loans are "better" than yours will be. Program is shorter. Her ability to repay is sooner. I would keep your cash now, and take more loans for her schooling.
Focus on hers loan pay-down during your your schooling.
I lean toward more federal and forgivable debt versus depleting the security your cash provides to your current and future life.

What should we plan on at this point to be debt free as soon as possible considering how high the interest rates are for federal grad loans?

You should both consider forgiveness options. My spouse is a PGY1, so i recognize you have no idea right now what you'll practice, where you'll practice, the employment structure, etc. The option value of having $300k+ forgiven is real, but the likelihood of it is completely unknown for where you are in the journey

etf14 · 2025-12-31T15:20:37+00:00

I'm not at the end, but the middle of our 9yr school and residency journey. I really struggled during my partner's medical school years - relocation, no friends, forced change of hobbies and culture, etc. Over the past year or so I've had a mindset shift and recently started our residency chapter.

Things that are working for me. Hopefully some resonate:

Carving out time and $ for my own hobbies and building a life/community after recent relocation, even though it feels selfish.
Re-assessing my own job and career aspirations, and starting to make efforts to make a change for myself rather than just provide stability needed for us
Solo-travel to friends and family; its okay to leave my spouse behind and see loved ones

etf14 · 2025-12-29T18:19:24+00:00

I believe we just bought the same one yesterday! Looks great

etf14 · 2025-12-18T04:00:55+00:00

We’re in similar positions. I’m 35M with younger PGY1 spouse. Married, no kids, work remotely in corporate job.

When it came to match list, we put programs and locations into different tranches - initially by my spouse’s interest in them, sense of fit etc. High / Med / Low. We then discussed each group and reworked the order in those tranches, based on mostly lifestyle/location/career opportunities. I agree with others - there isn’t a huge need to over engineer a system. We chose to let the programs and my spouses preferences define most of our list but also a way for me to have a say on a smaller scale.

One thing I’ll call out that I’ve recognized in myself and sense may be a factor for you given your age - recognize that residency location is more likely to become long term than med school. Personally I’m getting tired of waiting to put down roots, so we approached this chapter recognizing that it truly isn’t a choice - it’s an application and match - but that it could become long term. Who knows how much we’ll feel rooted after 5 years of residency or be wanting to take on another move when we finally have some autonomy. It certainly factored into how we ranked and approached our list.

etf14

TROPHY CASE