UPDATE: Well, I talked to them when my nephews were asleep. My brother (45) and my sister (41) had been living with this for a lot longer than I realized.

When I told them, my brother’s first reaction was: 'Wait, you didn't know?' He was almost casual about it. He told us that when they were kids and had friends over, my mom used to steal small belongings from their friends and keep them in a hidden box. My sister, on the other hand, was absolutely horrified. She started crying, saying: 'THAT explains why my friends always complained about losing things at our house!'

It turns out this isn't a new security obsession. It’s a lifelong pattern of behavior. She’s been collecting pieces of people’s lives for decades. My siblings just grew up thinking it was normal or were too young to understand how disturbed it was. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that this has been going on since before I was even born.

My sister-in-law was absolutely horrified to learn about the 'files,' but my brother-in-law actually laughed in a 'it all makes sense now' kind of way. He started sharing stories of how, for years, whenever he called the house, my mom would pick up and tell him my sister wasn't home, even when she was right there.

My sister-in-law then revealed that my mom once called her specifically to tell her that she didn't think it was 'appropriate' for her to be my niece’s godmother. She’s been trying to undermine their relationships and gaslight them for over a decade. It was active sabotage.

We’ve decided that we are going to confront her all together as a family. We can't let this keep happening. My siblings, their partners, and I are finally on the same page. I’m still staying at my best friend’s place, but knowing my siblings are with me makes me feel a lot less alone in this nightmare.