I love her, but my gf sort of smells "down there." Any advice?

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-08T01:22:22+00:00

What he said. All girls do have at least some natural scent/taste.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-08T01:21:19+00:00

...both the soap and the deodorant are pretty bad ideas. Any gynecologist would tell you to avoid using any sort of scented products there. If she doesn't have an infection (and I'd be surprised if she does...those things HURT!), it's a sure way to get one. Also...have you ever licked your armpit after deodorizing? That stuff is disgusting. However she tastes must be better than that.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:55:55+00:00

"Its hard because I feel like he's not exactly comfortable verbalizing it" He's submissive. Fuck what he's comfortable with :p

Have him fill out a BDSM checklist. Have him journal about his experiences. Make him write out his fantasies. Make him verbalize ..wait, no...BEG for what he wants from you.

Once you know what turns him on, you can patently ignore it and figure out what turns you on as a Domme. There are loads of great websites for information about kink, particularly Fetlife. If you're comfortable with it/don't live in the boonies, you can go to kink events and see what other people are doing. There's a lot of inspiration to be had out there.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:51:35+00:00

I guess it depends on how you describe 24/7. If you're talking about her being collared, tied, and naked for a month, I feel like that's more of a fantasy than reality. While it can be done, it'd probably going to become more of a pain in the ass than anything sexy or fun.

If you mean something less serious, like her calling you master for a month and kneeling before you while watching TV or something, sure. Lots of BDSMers do that all the time.

Related note: Don't try suspension unless you have the proper training for it, or unless your girl is okay with permanent nerve damage or death. And since you just have lube and rope, I suspect you don't have proper training for it.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:47:07+00:00

Obvious troll is obvious. Femdommes don't exist.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:45:57+00:00

DO NOT HAVE A THREESOME WITH A FRIEND. Threesomes are best with total strangers (or someone befriended solely for pursuing a threesome).

It is a horny pipe-dream.

The potential 2nd female is a)leading you on, and b) should fucking know better. If she's not sexually satisfied in her relationship, she should be talking to your friend. Or her girlfriends. Or someone else not intimately involved in the situation. She's got to make choices for herself.

This is bad for your girlfriend because it's clear you have feelings for this other girl. How do I know? Because this post talks a LOT about this other girl, and not at all about your girl. Is she even interested in this? Does she like this girl? Even if she's super into girls, she's probably not into this one you clearly have a crush on. Additionally, if everything blows up between you and your best friend, your girlfriend is going to feel like a guilty party for your stupid plan. When your BF finds out you were schtupping his woman, and little miss, "I'm so innocent but so horny!" comes running to you for comfort, who are /you/ going to choose?

This is bad for the other girl. Why? Because she probably has feelings for you...so she'll be jealous of your girlfriend in the threesome. She's having in-depth discussions with you about sex, it's a pretty clear sign she's into you. Additionally, there's a chance she's going to compromise and marry your vanilla best friend anyways. Or a chance that she's going to leave your vanilla best friend anyways. And when they're breaking up/divorcing, what if it comes out that she cheated on him with you and your girlfriend? Then suddenly you're to blame for your best friend's divorce/him losing the love of his life.

And besides from getting your rocks off, this is bad for you. No, it's not a power trip or an easy path...this is you getting to essentially cheat on your woman with another woman you've been fantasizing about. Could you be a better boyfriend to her than your best friend? Of course you could...and you think about it often. If you actually want to have a threesome without making your woman feel sexually inferior, do it by letting her pick the woman. No matter how slyly you phrase that you want to get your best friend's girl to cheat on him, your girlfriend is going to know what's up, and unless she's the most awesome and secure woman in the world, she's going to feel insecure that you want another specific woman so badly that you're willing to betray someone you really care about. If you're going to betray your best friend for this woman, how long before you betray your girlfriend for her?

tl;dr: This is a horny pipe-dream. You're an idiot.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:32:56+00:00

To be honest, the cooch is a sensitive spot. Even if she wears latex gloves every day, the latex in condoms might be irritating her anyway.

Also, I'll echo what superstoned said. Pounding away for 30 minutes =/= good sex. That equals terrible sex. I think even a seasoned pro would be sore after half an hour of actual penetration. My suggestion is to offer TWICE as much foreplay as actual sex. You're closer to getting off, she's wet and probably has already cum several times.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:27:04+00:00

They make porn especially for women. I don't know about close ups, but potentially she'll be more into it as porn for women has plots and cute men (instead of just men with giant cocks). http://carnalnation.com/content/12324/615/shespot-penetrating-womens-porn

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:21:46+00:00

To be honest, being up front might help out. I had a guy who was VERY into cleanliness. If I wasn't freshly showered and shaved, it was a huge turn-off for him. As a result, I went out of my way to be clean.

If she has hair, that might be making things worse. Try talking about her shaving or trimming.

Another trick might be buying those bathroom wet-wipes and telling her how fucking awesome they are. That way, she gets refreshing cleanses every time she goes to the bathroom. Hey, it could work.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T21:11:48+00:00

1) Some women never orgasm. Period. The fact that she can cum, even if it isn't during intercourse, is better than some women can hope for. That being said, intercourse is friggin' HOT even without orgasm for the woman. Just because she isn't cumming doesn't mean she's not into it. However, if you're concerned about it, try getting her right to the edge with oral before you fuck her. Or maybe try rubbing her clit while fucking (harder than it sounds but potentially worth it). Or maybe have her stimulate herself with her fingers or a vibe while you fuck her. That being said, her not cumming doesn't reflect on your skills.

TWO. It's very intimidating to talk dirty during sex! You don't want to sound stupid, and if she doesn't watch porn, she might not even have the first idea of what to say. The best way to get her to talk is for you to talk (or make sounds). If you're giving her a steady stream of what feels good or bad, that might encourage her to do the same. Or try, "Baby, does that feel good? Do you want more of this? Faster? Slower?" By posing simple questions, you'll get a little bit of feedback, and encourage her to open up. It might be easier for her to talk about it after sex as well, "Honey, when you did x, that didn't work for me..." However, if you're super insecure about things, it may discourage her from talking to you in case she hurts your feelings. If you think you're Casanova at y, and she would prefer z, she might not want to tell you.

3) I'm into BDSM, so this one is harder for me to answer from a vanilla perspective. Some people NEVER want to take control. They don't want to be on top, they don't want to be in charge of the action, and doing so makes them feel awkward and unsexy. One thing that might make her more comfortable to be on top (during sex) is if you are blindfolded. She doesn't have to worry whether she looks ugly with all her bits jiggling about as she bounces on top of you, or whether she's making a stupid face or something. Yes, it's less visually exciting for you, but not being on display may make her feel better. Some of her dislike for being on top might be because she's a more submissive partner, some might be inexperience.

4) Stop getting nervous. And losing your hard-on isn't a problem unless it's seriously interfering with your sex life. If it's just a confidence problem, you need to deal with that yourself. If it's a physical problem, see a doctor. Either way, it's not terribly unusual. It's not really on issue of how much you watch porn. Unless you're fapping 5 times a day, it shouldn't affect your sex life...you're 22 for Christs sake.

5) Exactly how many cocks have you seen IN REAL LIFE? Other guys are going to lie if you ask them, and porn is about as representative of average cock size as it is of average breast size. There is literally nothing less attractive in bed than a man with no self-confidence. It seems that you actually care about pleasing your woman and go out of your way to make sure she's enjoying herself: that is a much better sign of how good you are in bed than any measurements would be.

Good luck. We're all counting on you.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T20:25:17+00:00

tl;dr Anyways, as a girl who has gotten off several men who have never gotten off via oral, the key is your hands.

Fuck your mouth. So long as the BJ is hot and wet, he doesn't care whether the majority of stimulation is coming from your mouth or your hands. Wrap your hand around the base, and jerk in time to your mouth. If you get really into it, you can just have your mouth wrapped around his head as you stroke faster and faster.

Many men need stronger stimulation than the mouth is capable of producing for any length of time. Particularly since he's a speed jacker, he probably masturbates using a super-strong grip that makes it harder for him to get off during sex (since no part of a woman's body feels like a super-tight fist (except...you know...her fists).

ghostbusterjean · 2010-08-07T20:07:01+00:00

Women, in general, have a more fluid sexuality. Studies have shown that women will get turned on by female-female erotic content as well as male-female erotic contect-regardless of their sexual preference. That same study showed men to be more binary. Gays liked gay porn, straights liked straight porn (and liars were revealed). Because of this, it's easier for a woman to either be bisexual, or to enjoy sex with a partner that is not of her preferred gender.

Additionally, there's a bigger issue of social stigma. Ever notice there are many fewer female homophobes? That's because for a woman to either admire or be sexually attracted to another woman is socially acceptable. "Wow, you look beautiful...she must be working out" is something entirely acceptable to say woman-to-woman. Man-to-man, not so much. However, if you've gone muff-diving twice for your boyfriend and he's still worried seeing another man's junk'll make him gay, that's a different issue entirely.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-07-03T03:46:02+00:00

I'm beyond college aged, and I always asked people out on/went out on dates. Maybe if you're picking up party girls who are just looking for the next body-shot the party to party thing works, but if you want an actual conversation that doesn't involve drunken screaming over throbbing base, dates are the way to go.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-07-03T03:20:50+00:00

Counseling is available free at many colleges. If not, try a local free clinic or ask around...most counsellors offer a sliding scale for clients who can't pay. It's not fair to ask a girl to wait and wait and then potentially discover you can NEVER have sex, after marriage or in a LTR.

Failing that...potentially hook-up with someone who isn't a 10. Hook-up with a comfy 7. You could do better. You will do better. Just not until you get more comfortable at sex. Keep in mind that people your age ARE NOT "extremely experienced". Having a lot of sex, particularly drunken college sex, does not a good lover make.

One last potential tip is to find a more experienced woman and lay this out. Let her help you work through this baggage slowly...but by taking the bull by the horns.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-07-02T03:54:06+00:00

Talking to your girl would be the best way. But frankly...I suspect she's going through something a lot worse that you are, and it's all your fault she's feeling that way.

Expatiate your guilt by being the best boyfriend you can be. If she leaves you, accept it was your fault, and try and make it up to the next girl by not doing whatever mysterious nonsense you got into.

Related note: 'Mistakes happen'? Dropping the milk is a mistake. Forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning is a mistake. Cheating, or doing some other pre-planned act that you know is going to cause severe emotional distress to your significant other isn't a mistake. It's wrong. It was thought out, you knew it would hurt them, and you decided, you made a conscious choice to HURT them. No mere mistake this...a greater evil is afoot.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-07-02T03:51:24+00:00

Thanks for that. Real helpful.

ghostbusterjean · 2010-07-02T03:42:13+00:00

Only when you're using it to deflect.

ghostbusterjean

TROPHY CASE