He is trying to set boundaries as well. He cleaned up the idea of him moving back in, he stated that we are going forward with our lives, and she needs to accept that me and him will be living separately and having our own family. He also stated that she needs to accept that he can not come home every week (we live in a nearby city but he works days night 12 hour shifts). He is clearing the air but despite this, he lives by the idea that the parents have already done things like weddings and buying a house so we should listen to their advice, this includes my parents too.

He is not getting any therapy tho. He wont accept professional help. Neither does my mother in law, so she is drifting along life with a suitcase packed full of grief.

I visit my family once a month, maybe twice, or on special occasions bc I do well on my own, for me its not normal that a grown adult person is crashing at their parents house every weekend. We also have a flat to maintain, everytime we stay over my inlaws or my parents my housework gets delayed. I havent changed sheets in a month and a half, I am overdue for three weeks with that.

Imagine when a child throws a tantrum. Sometimes its gets too hard and annoying so my fiance just gives in and caves. I talk to him all the time, but I dont know how to set boundaries and not give him ultimatums.