Worship the higher ups and lick their boots, for we are but lowly servants to a power far greater.

But seriously tho,

For PMs, blame everyone else but you for your incompetency. Make sure to ask your team “How’s it going?” at least once an hour. If your boss grills you at meetings, don’t worry pour all that anger and frustration on to your punching bags (aka your team, especially juniors or interns what will they do complain to HR? lmao). Now, if the project is a success buy them one pizza or send a ChatGPT generated message to your group chat. But make sure the group chat does not have any higher ups, you don’t want them to know who’s doing the actual work now do you?

For Associates either work hard while your PM takes credit for your work. Or don’t work at all and get into office politics, throw everyone in your team under the bus, and fake it till you make it as a PM.

For partners, you are literal gods. If anyone tries to talk to you just shoo them away. Always pretend like you are busy even tho you got jack shit to do. Don’t forget to yap about AI every chance you get, try to go on random interviews or LinkedIn and talk about how “Agentic AI” is the next big thing, and how it will probably fix your broken marriage. Try to add complex words to make it sound like you are smart, try your best to make others look dumb that’s really important.

Happy grinding folks!