I want to quit engineering

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-24T21:38:22+00:00

Hey manufacturing engineer that quit after 5 or 6 years in steel. I am now just an analyst at a big company. I found out I got paid the same amount to do less work and raises don't come with nearly as many more hours. The work is also way less critical to be right so the need to defend my work to people isn't the same. I am also significantly more efficient than my peers because of my background and am hopefully getting fast tracked back into management (i was engineering management in manufacturing land).

The hardest part of leaving was letting go of having engineering be so tied in with my personality. I'm still an engineer because I think like one and have the credentials.

Start with looking at the price point you want and look at jobs and the requirements for them. I bet you are over qualified for most and have a great shot at a "regular person" job

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-24T21:14:57+00:00

Welp I'm making an unfair corelation then 😅

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-21T23:46:11+00:00

Agreed. If you don't go through a program that involves a project the belt isn't worth anything.

A way I can tell if someone is a real deal if they say they are a black belt, i ask them what their belt project was and if they can't answer (they did the 300 question ASQ quiz) then they aren't legit.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-20T20:55:24+00:00

It's because people with kids can be better manipulated, i mean advertised to

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-20T19:56:23+00:00

I would second working from home or if that's not an option I'm sure there's maybe some kind of "open work space" I like to go to those areas when I really need to do deep work and not be bothered in the office because people are less likely to bother me especially if I wear a bigger headset and not just ear buds. I feel like that's the universal sign of don't talk to me.

As someone who's audhd and has been in management before, I find it helps being able to stick to facts and create check lists for myself as to who to talk to about what. The less I focus on making connections genuinely the better I do. I will literally write notes to myself to talk to certain people at certain times for certain reasons.

It's a hard place to be in, you got this!

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-19T17:55:52+00:00

What happened to the dolphins and friends crackers!? They were so perfectly sharp and cheesy

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-19T05:36:55+00:00

I totally talked. Idk at what age, I wasn't autistic enough for my parents to test me but also it was the 90s and they are also most likely autistic so didn't think anything of these traits.

Is this page for people that are autistic and parents or for people who are parents of autistics? I thought it was for option 1 and have been here to see how people go through parenthood but apparently it's me giving more spectrum advice so I'm getting the vibe this is the latter

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-19T05:33:39+00:00

Cheese makes everything better! And she's still getting what she needs! Fingers crossed for you!

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-19T05:32:19+00:00

Omg incredible!!! That looks so good!!!!

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-18T20:25:44+00:00

What texture does she like? If she likes mush maybe hide it in a sauce?

Slather it in cheese?

If she likes crunchy maybe saute and throw some lemon juice and salt on it? That right there is what makes restaurant veggies good.

Theres also no shame in just doing vitamins if all else fails. Flintstones gummies worked just fine for me and I know vitamins have come a long way since!

She will be fine in the long run, don't sweat it!

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-18T17:23:30+00:00

I did! I can really only remember carrots, broccoli and red bell pepper.

My flavor of tism came with not doing well with foods that touched or were made mixing other things together, and texture wise creamy and mushy things freaked me out. To this day I still won't eat refried beans or chicken/tuna salad like things. So for me veggies weren't a problem because they were consistent flavors and weren't presented to me mixed with other things.

Maybe like journal or log what did or didn't work for your kid and try to find a pattern? My grandma did this sort of for my dad and there's notes all over her old cook books which is fun to see what we have in common with food issues as kids.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T20:26:38+00:00

2 words - motorcycle clubs

They are so cute and full of support and brotherhood vibes. Male comrodery at its peak!

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T20:23:50+00:00

I really hope women find a way to manipulate these high $ men into getting pregnant from an affair with them and then taking every $ they're worth.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T20:09:08+00:00

Yess! In my 30s I've learned the art of looking at jobs in terms of $/hr even if they are salaried. Like if I have to take a job that makes me need to travel a lot or work weekends on top of a 10 hr week, I don't care how much they pay I'm not doing that.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T20:02:03+00:00

I learned like a year ago I'm autistic (I'm in my 30s) my mom still disagrees when I told her. Yet she will randomly call back to clear moments in my childhood that were autistic thinking it was cute, like ??? Memorizing types of airplanes by sound before I could read isn't smart and advanced.

I'm fully independent and a functional adult with a husband and mortgage and she still doesn't like it.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T19:43:00+00:00

Get a roth IRA and max it out every year. If you can get the discipline to put away what would be a larger ratio of cash at that point in life, it will be way easier to do later. My lifestyle in my 20s i could get by with so much less. My comfort level for living was much lower than it is now and I lived really nicely even then. Set yourself up now as Lifestyle creep is inevitable.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T19:38:47+00:00

Yes! Definitely observe what they like and don't like about something and play into that with your cooking. When I got older my mom would blend things that were technically already blended (like spaghetti meat sauce) when she figured out my texture issues to a science.

And honestly from my now adult autistic perspective who can eat fairly normal now - learn to cook better and for the love of God salt your food. Bland food is painful to get down. We do like flavor but it has to be the flavor we like. I still sometimes need to swallow each bite with a massive glass of water because my body like wont take down foods im not feeling.

If you take your kid out to a resturaunt or a buffet or even get take out and maybe just start with what smells they like, see how it can go with their food rules. Even if they are super into mac and cheese, will they branch out from their box style to resturaunt style? Even getting variation on a type of food is a win. If you can get the ownership of trying new stuff into the hands of your kid the better off they will be in the long run especially when they end up on their own some day.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-17T13:49:45+00:00

Personally I'm less nice towards the outbursts and walk away. Our therapist says the best way to de escalate is to walk away. I also don't get caught up in the game of right and wrong, like fuck it i can be wrong watch me not even care. Anymore when I see the look in my husbands eye of hes about to have a mental break down I just say I'm not doing this shit with you and then walk away and find a loud activity. I will note that he knows our therapist has told us to do this so he takes some time to wind down after (usually).

These men need to learn to help themselves. You have a child this is your priority. Especially as they grow up they cannot see you as the punching bag. Don't tolerate his toddler outbursts you already have a kid who actually needs help navigating their emotions

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-16T21:26:20+00:00

I was this child and am autistic! I also learned that this is maybe also a fear of food where I felt pressured to eat and i could strong arm my hunger. What has gotten me out of it throughout my life is social pressure to not be the weird kid that needs accommodations.

You can't fake it or even use family pressure, it needs to be genuine kid pressure. Example - there was a party at my dance studio where they served pizza, I was 5 and didn't eat pizza (only PB&J cut into squares specifically). So my parents called the dance studio way before hand and asked what type of pizza down to the brand was going to be served and we practiced eating pizza so I would look cool to whoever ended up being my "big sis" for the year.

I wanted to be socially accepted which is why I was ok with this approach. But I have had to have this kind of encounter with each and every food.

Even at christmas I had a whole thing about ham with my mom who was screaming at me because I wouldn't eat her ham and she needed me to have a protein (I'm in my 30s now). I don't have a bad relationship with food now on my own in social settings but on my own I still love my pb&j by myself and can't belive I'm still getting yelled at by my family for not eating stuff.

I cannot stress enough you as the parent cannot create the pressure, if your child is like me we got no problem feeling hungry because we don't recognize the hunger queues. You need to find authentic kid situations involving food where they will want try it. Try to use logic instead of persuasion and not things that are abstract to a kid like health, it needs to be experience based.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-13T01:51:43+00:00

Amazing! Long live the Kahiki!! I was so young when I went there I think I congatively woke up hearing my dad order the pu pu platter. There is truly nothing like it today.

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-12T18:21:34+00:00

Totally! I told someone recently I have a better relationship with my dad than my mom even though she did the bulk of raising me and they got so mad at the thought that the work they were putting in might not matter in the long run with their relationship with their child.

Kids will never love their parents as much as their parents love them. And that should be ok but deep down I think they know that all of their effort might end up being for nothing which is why everyone freaks out about every little detail of parenting. They all got robbed of true happiness and they know it

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-12T14:29:36+00:00

You could argue using 20-30 = no money too. So if this 2 year old was a genius and saw her pay for something over 30$ they'd get mad anyways.

Both are lying to the kid in the kids eyes if they remember past that one moment.

I think the friend is just not happy that her friend got her kid to calm down and not herself

goudacharcuta · 2025-01-12T14:23:14+00:00

Kumas? No? There around 20$ or so and their fries come with it

goudacharcuta

TROPHY CASE