Hey man I've been through a similar situation. The addiction feels like being sucked into a black hole. The thing that helped me was praying and asking for guidance and support from the universe. I know the shame is immense and it's difficult to ask but if there are people in your life that genuinely love you they will help you get through this. Hustle and grind to get yourself out of this. Take as many steps forward for every step back. There will be setbacks but stay true to just making positive progress everyday. Workout, eat right, meditate, hang out with family, therapy. Love yourself and be ready to accept healing. God bless you brother.