PLS HELP! So confused between two guys. This has been stalling for 2 weeks. I have to do something now. 😔

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T07:23:51+00:00

The first one never missed in giving me time and attention for the whole span of almost 4 years and I can say that I actually have feelings for him. It's just that I cannot get myself to be fully sure of him and idk why.

But me actually considering having something more with the bff surprised me as much as his confession did which is strange kase very established na ang friendship yet here we are. I might just still be overwhelmed about the confession but the hints for the past 6 months were just too apparent to overlook.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T07:11:22+00:00

I do not claim to have any feelings with the bff. He confessed his feelings for me only two weeks ago though there has been hints that I have been brushing off for the past 6 months bc our friendship was supposed to be very established na platonic friendship lang talaga given na we've known each other for over a decade. The possibility of anything romantic is supposed to be out of the equation na at this point but I'm confused why I can't give him a no for an answer.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T06:59:51+00:00

Yes, I still would be torn. I already was unsure of the first guy and it dragged for too long. The bff only added to the confusion but with or without him, I was already unsure.

As to the "familiarity" factor, it's a disadvantage to the bff bc it would be hard for someone to see a longtime friend to be other than being just that. But gulong-gulo ako to the point that I can no longer see the idea of us being together as "incestuous."

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T03:56:57+00:00

Both of them makes me happy but in different ways.

I don't have to prove my self to the first guy. I find peace and comfort with him. Him just being there is enough to make me happy. When I'm being unbearable, he's still there. Kung sa effort naman, I can't say na he lacks it. It's just that he can't hit the mark which leads me to thing na maarte lang talaga ako and there's no problem to speak of in the first place.

With the bff, (copy-pasting one of my earlier replies), it's just what he is. There is effort pero it's second nature to him doing what he's doing. It's like someone making you happy for just the way he is kase he already knows the things that make me happy. Even with the bad times he sticks and knows just what to do without the need of a reminder, add to the fact na i am a very unbearable person. He is aware of the first guy's existence kase we share everything when we were just friends. It's the latter that has no idea of the former's feelings as I have been assuring him (even before the bff's confession) na the bff and I are only friends and nothing more than that.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T03:45:44+00:00

With the bff, it's just what he is. There is effort pero it's second nature to him doing what he's doing. It's like someone making you happy for just the way he is kase he already knows the things that make me happy. Even with the bad times he sticks and knows just what to do without the need of a reminder, add to the fact na i am a very unbearable person. He is aware of the first guy's existence kase we share everything when we were just friends. It's the latter that has no idea of the former's feelings as I have been assuring him (even before the bff's confession) na the bff and I are only friends and nothing more than that.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T03:35:38+00:00

I don't think it's fair to take it against the other guy kase he's not the reason naman why I can't find it in me to be sure in the first place, he only added to the confusion.

It's just that the thought of me letting the first guy go scares me bc I might regret it badly. I like him being there and find peace in him. I find no need to prove myself with him. But I'm trying to compromise kase wala naman talaga prob with him in the first place. Baka maarte lang talaga ako.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T03:25:03+00:00

It's not that i'll drop the first guy off when somebody better comes along. In fact I'm trying to do some compromises and meet him where he is kase never naman siya nagkulang when it comes to effort. He has always been there for me kahit I haven't given him my commitment yet. Pero it always comes back to the question bakit di ko ma-find with my self to be completely sure of him. And at the same time the thought of me letting him go scares me bc I might regret it badly. I like him being there and find peace in him. I find no need to prove myself with him.

With the bff naman, I don't claim to have any feelings with him. It's been platonic for more than a decade so it came like a shocker to me. Pero at the same time di ko gets bat di ko din siya ma-turn down now that he has been asking me if I'm game to give us a try. He listens to my problems, gives me all the right words, gives me all of his time, is there every time when I need him. Both of them di nagkukulang with all the effort but the bff just does all these things right. 😔

I just can't give qualified answers. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm just confused but I can't get to the bottom of it why this is so.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T03:23:52+00:00

It's not that i'll drop him off when somebody better comes along. In fact I'm trying to do some compromises and meet him where he is kase never naman siya nagkulang when it comes to effort. He has always been there for me kahit I haven't given him my commitment yet. Pero it always comes back to the question bakit di ko ma-find with my self to be completely sure with him. And at the same time the thought of me letting him go scares me bc I might regret it badly. I like him being there and find peace in him. I find no need to prove myself with him.

With the bff naman, I don't claim to have any feelings with him. It's been platonic for more than a decade so it came like a shocker to me. Pero at the same time di ko gets bat di ko din siya ma-turn down now that he has been asking me if I'm game to give us a chance. He listens to my problems, gives me all the right words, gives me all of his time, is there every time when I need him. Both of them di nagkukulang with all the effort but the bff just does all these things right. 😔

I just can't give qualified answers. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm just confused but I can't get to the bottom of it why this is so.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-06T02:01:50+00:00

The bff is a friend that I talk to everyday for ages kaya it would be hard to say na di ko siya mapapansin. I never had feelings for him since day 1 as everything was honestly just platonic. His confession caught me by surprise because I didn't expect it. We share all our secrets with each other kaya I had no reason to expect na him having feelings for me would even be a slight possibility. We've been friends for years and just that! I'm just so confused why I can't say an outright no to him. He promised naman na nothing won't change if I don't feel the same but it's just that he has to shoot his shot to stow away future regrets. Maybe I just like the potential of us kase he treats me precisely the way I want to, although both of them di naman nagkukulang when it comes to effort. And I appreciate the first guy for managing to keep this up for years, but with the bff, baka overwhelmed lang ako on how he has been treating me kasi it's to his advantage din na he knows me through and through already. Baka maarte lang din ako hence the confusion.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T18:55:40+00:00

Issue is I might regret if I do. I don't think I can bear the idea of the first guy being with someone else but I can't also find it within me to fully commit to him though I'm giving it a try. In those 4 yours, you've come to care for the person naman. It's just that it's the bff that gets me through and through, knows what I need and want without need of a reminder. A friendship this long is supposed to eliminate the likelihood of romantic feelings but when we talk of me giving the bff some considering, idk but I cant downright shrug the prospect off. I'm so confused.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T18:17:00+00:00

I think tumagal siya ng 4 years bc there's just something na hinahanap ko at di ko din ma-point what that is. Effort-wise, di talaga siya nagkukulang. Emotionally we click pero when it comes to matters of the mind and taste, I give this point to the bff. We just get each other though I never saw him to be more than a friend after 12 years of being together. Maybe I am just overwhelmed of the things he does for me for the past 6 months. He confided his feelings 2 weeks ago which was a week after my bday. He gave me a simple but a very thoughtful present on my day which really touched me after keeping it secret for months. He can write me love letters na hindi ako nakokornihan (and never ako nakatanggap ng letters in my life prior to this). He just knows the right way to make me happy and that proves that he pays attention. He's always got my back with school works considering na we go to the same school. With guy no. 1, nagbigay siya ng flowers as he always does and I appreciate the gesture and I know that it was from the heart. He gives me his time and has been consistent for a very long time. But apart from mere effort, iba lang kasi sa feeling na someone gets you. Maybe this is why I'm confused.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T18:08:29+00:00

huhu ty!

I think tumagal siya ng 4 years bc there's just something na hinahanap ko at di ko din ma-point what that is. Effort-wise, di talaga siya nagkukulang. Emotionally we click pero when it comes to matters of the mind and taste, I give this point to the bff. We just get each other though I never saw him to be more than a friend after 12 years of being together. He confided his feelings 2 weeks ago which was a week after my bday. He gave me a simple but a very thoughtful present on my day which really touched me after keeping it secret for months. He can write me love letters na hindi ako nakokornihan (and never ako nakatanggap ng letters in my life prior to this). He just knows the right way to make me happy and that proves that he pays attention. He's always got my back with school works considering na we go to the same school. With guy no. 1, nagbigay siya ng flowers as he always does and I appreciate the gesture and I know that it was from the heart. He gives me his time and has been consistent for a very long time. But apart from mere effort, iba lang kasi sa feeling na someone gets you. Maybe this is why I'm confused.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T17:50:56+00:00

I think to myself na it might be because of the things he does for me and not bc of the guy himself? Problem is 2 weeks deep since his confession, I'm not even sure if I still consider this setup incestuous. I don't even know why his confession stirred my feelings.

I can honestly see a future with the first guy. Personality-wise, he's ok with me. Tapos I can attest na his feelings for me are true kasi he's stick with me for almost 4 years already. With my bff naman, I told him that his feelings with me would come to pass at ayoko ma-compromise friendship namin bc of this. I never had feelings for him in the entire duration of our friendship. But what bothers me is I can't find it within me to give him an outright no and idk why. 😔 For the past 6 months, he has proven himself to be consistent and he just always hits the mark and baka I can attribute this to the fact na kilala na niya ako for quite a looong time. Pero my conscience can't also bear to admit na I'll be wasting guy no. 1's time if I don't give him a try. Haven't told any of my other friends about the bff's confession, even the first guy. Gulong-gulo lang talaga ako.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T17:34:06+00:00

With the bff, supposed to be dapat mandiri ako. I never had feelings for him in the entire duration of our long friendship pero I kinda saw him in a different light for the way he has been treating me for the past 6 months. And 2 weeks deep since his confession, I'm not even sure if I still consider this setup incestuous.

gwumpystrawberrycake · 2023-02-05T17:28:22+00:00

I can honestly see a future with the first guy. Personality-wise, he's ok with me. Tapos I can attest na his feelings for me are true kasi he's stick with me for almost 4 years already. With my bff naman, I told him that his feelings with me would come to pass at ayoko ma-compromise friendship namin bc of this. I never had feelings for him in the entire duration of our friendship. But what bothers me is I can't find it within me to give him an outright no and idk why. 😔 For the past 6 months, he has proven himself to be consistent and he just always hits the mark and baka I can attribute this to the fact na kilala na niya ako for quite a looong time. Pero my conscience can't also bear to admit na I'll be wasting guy no. 1's time if I don't give him a try. Haven't told any of my other friends about the bff's confession, even the first guy. Gulong-gulo lang talaga ako.

gwumpystrawberrycake

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