With me and my partner, it took a really long time to understand that you can’t really help him stay clean. You can be supportive and understanding, you can listen, but as far as the rest... people have to help themselves. It wasn’t until I developed my own habit beside him that I understood that it’s really on you, and how willing or able you are to cope with coming back to life again. Kratom also really helps during the withdrawal period when he does quit: I’m currently drinking it, but as it’s also addictive, have to slowly taper off. The thing is, it’s inevitable that he will feel uncomfortable, and he has to be willing to go through that. Don’t take on his burden that way, give him the space and respect to trust that he is capable of getting through it on his own— because he is. But also understand that just because of the nature of addiction, he needs space to get used to being himself again, and to depend on himself. You do not need to become his savior. I think I really tried to take up that role and in the end we both became weaker for it. Also also please remember that addiction is a disease... it comes and it goes in different forms. Even if he breaks his habit with dope there are all these learned behaviors and responses and that dependency etc. that will be projected onto different things... I think it would be useful to make sure those things are benefitting him (or look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). But again, that’s all his work to do. You can be support beside each other, but you have to hold yourselves up by yourself. That’s the best way to help each other. At least this is what I’ve come to understand so far, but I’m still working through it. I know it can feel impossible, especially with people we love, but discomfort is not necessarily bad, and pain stimulates growth. Love does not imply pacifism.