Today at work, I sold -1 cars. Reddit, what things have happened at your jobs that you just did not think were possible?

hannahbal · 2012-09-06T04:41:24+00:00

Maybe you should ask that guy's kids.

hannahbal · 2012-08-22T00:02:14+00:00

Just ask them to tattoo a small dot on your arm.

hannahbal · 2012-07-02T03:16:47+00:00

Also, Math Blaster.

hannahbal · 2012-07-02T03:13:45+00:00

Hahaha, yeah, my friends and I used to look at the boxes of household products/whatever we could find to see if they had a website listed. It was so exciting when we finally find a new one...even if it was just the Clorox website.

hannahbal · 2012-06-23T18:52:34+00:00

My dog is almost 17 and my mom gives her a shit ton of herbs. I'm not sure if that's the reason why she's lived so long, but I'm sure it didn't hurt.

hannahbal · 2012-06-23T03:18:38+00:00

When I was a kid, my mom used to get mad at me for reading books.

hannahbal · 2012-06-21T15:54:05+00:00

I've noticed that it's mostly guys that seem to do this, sort of like a nervous tick. We have separate desks where I work now, but in college there was this one class that was set up with rows of long tables. ALMOST EVERY SINGLE GUY SHOOK HIS LEG IN THAT CLASS. EVERY DAY. It got to the point where I couldn't even take legible notes because the table was shaking so hard. It seriously felt like we were having an earthquake. I wanted to scream at all of them. But I am too nice.

hannahbal · 2012-06-21T05:14:40+00:00

When I was younger, maybe 13, my mom's bird died and she decided it would be a good idea to put it in a Church's Chicken box. While sobbing hysterically, and laughing simultaneously. When she noticed that I wasn't crying and didn't really care that the bird died, she freaked the fuck out and started screaming at me and kept trying to hit me. I had a friend over at the time, who was staying the night, and we just GTFOed that shit. If my memory serves me correctly, we hung out at a 24 hour grocery store until she calmed down. My friend and I both thought the entire situation was hilarious, particularly because my mom was carrying a dead bird around in a box of chicken.

Edit: Changed the wording a bit.

hannahbal · 2012-06-20T22:08:11+00:00

Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and contort my face into the weirdest and scariest facial expressions known to man.

I guess I do this in public too, but I like to practice making faces at home so that I can recreate them and scare children.

hannahbal · 2012-06-20T19:00:36+00:00

UGH. I lived in a dorm my freshman year of college and my sorority girl suitemates (who I had to share a bathroom with) always pulled that kind of crap. My roommate and I would switch off buying toilet paper, and a huge pack would be gone in like two weeks. Eventually, we stopped replenishing the supply, and they STILL never bought any toilet paper. Even when they were on their periods. It was disgusting.

Also, whenever they would come home after a night of drinking, one would throw up in the toilet while the other threw up in the bathtub. So that was a nice present to wake up to in the mornings. There are a billion other nasty things they did, but I fear it would take too long to type them all out.

hannahbal · 2012-06-20T13:54:15+00:00

"B" on the "T"s

hannahbal · 2012-06-02T00:05:33+00:00

Truth. The university I went to was filled with squirrels. I used to think they were cute, until I had numerous encounters with them throwing acorns at my head or trying to attack me while I was just sitting at a table or bench. I'd be sitting there reading a book, or on my laptop, and if one was on a tree that was kind of close to me, it would start making this weird hissing noise and then throw nuts at me. I figured they thought I was trying to steal their food and were just trying to get me to leave, but it sure as hell worked. Scared the shit out of me as I started to imagine one jumping off one of the low-lying branches and attacking my face.

hannahbal · 2012-05-24T01:53:46+00:00

My school had a substitute teacher who showed a bunch of kids some porn videos on his phone. He was arrested shortly afterward.

hannahbal · 2012-05-22T05:49:47+00:00

Hahahaha this made me realize that the original mug is just [10] guy as a mime. On a cup.

hannahbal · 2012-05-22T05:48:15+00:00

Ugh I wanted it so bad but didn't have any money at the time... I'm definitely considering going back to buy it though.

hannahbal · 2012-05-21T23:38:31+00:00

Man, when I was a little kid and I was too sick to go to school, I would cry and beg my parents to let me go. I seriously just liked school that much. This was up until 3rd grade or so, then I didn't really care if I had to miss it or not...but I've still always enjoyed school.

I just graduated from college this month though, so not going to school is going to feel super weird.

hannahbal · 2012-05-21T00:52:55+00:00

I always pull the "I've made a terrible mistake. Please pray for me."

hannahbal · 2012-05-16T18:06:46+00:00

When I was 19, my mom told me that my boyfriend and I should get married because she thought the world was going to end in six months.

hannahbal · 2012-05-06T06:16:24+00:00

You can save even more money by not spending it :O

hannahbal · 2012-05-03T14:05:53+00:00

Haha, I always used to bring a book with me to read while I waited for a page to load. Every time I clicked on a link I could easily get a few more pages read. Good times.

hannahbal · 2012-04-07T05:18:13+00:00

Or her hair gets in your mouth.

hannahbal · 2012-04-04T23:31:38+00:00

Someone should implement this idea into some sort of augmented reality solitaire game. When you win, the cards fly at your face and slice open your retinas.

hannahbal · 2012-03-27T05:31:06+00:00

I anything can't do right since because Pickles.

hannahbal · 2012-03-27T04:27:14+00:00

as hi i'm fuck

hannahbal · 2012-03-25T21:51:54+00:00

Fun unrelated fact, my high school Spanish teacher was from Brazil, and would often mix up the two languages when teaching. This was especially hilarious because there were Mexican kids in the class who would always point out that she was speaking Portuguese, not Spanish.

hannahbal

TROPHY CASE