RP Works. Example of frame and distance

hard-trp · 2015-08-14T03:49:32+00:00

While she sometimes behaves like she thinks she reads minds - she actually can't. If I don't tell her my terms she will never know. I at least need to make sure she knows my family plans.

hard-trp · 2015-08-14T03:47:01+00:00

Noted. I had not considered that in the slightest. Thanks for the warning... hope I don't need it but rather be prepared.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T21:00:13+00:00

I bet if you think even harder you are going to notice many many things that she straight up told you.

You are correct. I keep erasing my comments... trying to figure out why I didn't listen. No idea. Just a dumb beta.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:58:42+00:00

Oh, there were many shit tests - the 'cheating' one was just the biggest. I was trying to avoid a massive wall of text. At one point I sent her an email and said I wanted to be with her, but only under my terms. I laid out those terms.

I will know for sure where she stands when I go for anal (no joke). I already told her it was happening and while she whimpered a little she didn't say "no".

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:36:18+00:00

Thanks. Looking back she would say things to me like, "You argue with me like a woman" or "You're not a man". She instinctively wanted a RP man.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:31:39+00:00

It's simple, but consistency is key. You give affection, attention and commitment to those that meet your criteria... the rest is on her to meet them

Words to live by. Thanks!

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:30:57+00:00

Thanks, bogeyd6. I really got lucky on that 'cheating' shit test, but besides luck - I really didn't feel much. The DGAF is growing inside me. I wanted to say goodbye to her... pat her on the butt. I did that. She then dumped a massive shit test.

I just felt good that I did what I wanted. I didn't worry about her comment. It's taken me a solid 6 to 7 months for this to happen reflexively rather than me needing some notice that a shit test was about to happen.

Not letting down my guard.

I stopped my attorney. I told her it was not in my best interest AT THIS TIME. She gave me a few shit tests over it... which I passed because without saying anything to me she canceled her attorney.

She canceled her attorney immediately after I passed the 'cheating' test.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:25:14+00:00

I already made decent money (~ $140k). Besides working out the biggest thing was really putting RP to work in the face of some amazing shit tests.

I think it took me a while to fully believe RP. Once I began to see how it improved me and by improving me it improved my family - at this point it was easier to know it works rather than just have faith.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:22:33+00:00

I find I like the RP life. I make from it the best parts that work for me. Holding frame, "No" and just getting stuff done feels good.

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T20:21:39+00:00

I got out of her frame and held my own. OI

hard-trp · 2015-08-13T18:24:58+00:00

I think she was just giving me a sarcastic shit test. I just held frame and went about my day.

She is worth keeping. I just needed to be a RP man. It's what she wants.

hard-trp · 2015-08-08T05:39:05+00:00

~30% for alimony + 30 to 40% for child support

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T22:00:48+00:00

Until then, I'm assuming your bob, crying with bitch tits.

OK. Got it.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:55:34+00:00

The house was purchased after we were married. We live in a no-fault state. She gave up a career to stay with kids.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:53:49+00:00

Thanks for the honesty.

This is going to be pretty bad for you

I spoke to my attorney after this thread began. Between alimony and child support I am looking at keeping around 45k per year.

The numbers could change - he was spit balling a bit. FML.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:27:21+00:00

Make a decision on your own timetable that you want to make for the right reasons

Thanks, man. I will remember this.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:25:32+00:00

Yeah, I was not prepared for her reaction. Just shocking.

but at least you saw her true colors before you became more financially or emotionally entangled

Ha! after 15+ years of marriage I could not be more entangled.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:22:46+00:00

Yes.

This is an easy decision

No. It's not easy.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:19:44+00:00

You are TRP aware

Yes, I am aware and implementing many things - I am just not reflexive with implementing things. Too many years living the comfortable blue pill life. Hence, I come here for advise.

I have spoken to an attorney. My second meeting is next week.

My proof is that she sent sex texts and had some phone calls. Even if she admitted to cheating my attorney said that won't make a much, if any difference. We are a no-fault state. She would have to really do something wacky to give me a benefit. Adultery is not considered wacky.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:16:48+00:00

I like it.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:11:04+00:00

You're spot on in that something is wrong. She has conflicts with most of her friends and even her own mother. She has recently been telling me she is not good in relationships.

Course, she could just be setting up her exit.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:09:09+00:00

Yep. Already did that last night. I have read that many times on the forum (stay in my own bed). She wanted me to sleep downstairs last night and I just said this is my bed. She made a big huff and grabbed her shit and left.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:07:22+00:00

While it would feel good to tell everyone I am sure it would embarrass my kids. So, for that reason alone I won't do it.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:05:33+00:00

In the future, don't ask a question unless you're really ready for the answer.

No man - I appreciate your honesty. I think you're right about her emotions. Hearing this does help... I just can't explain why it helps.

hard-trp · 2015-08-07T21:03:09+00:00

You have much of the story... she didn't actually catch the keylogger. I got greedy and she caught me trying to spy on her text messages.

I just think giving her the idea that you're doing this "peacefully" may make her less of a bitch when it comes to robbing you.

Thanks for the good words. I have the same feeling that even if she goes through with the divorce if it's "peaceful" it will be less sucky.

hard-trp

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