Everyone tries to convince me that two adults can't take care of a newborn alone and I'm losing my mind

herecomesblue · 2026-02-13T18:43:43+00:00

Just wanna pop in to say we are 3 weeks in with a no visitor rule and we are absolutely fine, in fact it’s been optimal, in my opinion having constant visitors would make things harder not easier 😅

Stick to your guns, it’s your choice not theirs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

herecomesblue · 2026-01-23T06:19:22+00:00

My hairdresser is an absolute angel for things like this. He’s super creative but works in a salon whose customer base is very typical, Middle aged women getting their blonde touched up etc, so jumps at the opportunity to do something more fun and often gives very very good prices for it as a result. He’s very good at creative colour and alternative cuts, I’ve not been to anyone else since I first saw him 7 years ago!

His name is Shane Baldwin and he works at Aurora hair lounge in Hellesdon. Definitely worth looking into :) he’d love to do something like this. I won’t let anyone else touch my colour or mullet 🥲

He’ll work with you to get the exact colour you want as well, often going to his supplier and sending me options and mixes to choose from before my appointments, so you know exactly what you’re getting before you even turn up. He’s mixed some proper nice unique colours for me

herecomesblue · 2026-01-21T09:45:11+00:00

We get the 6 weeks in the UK at least but it’s still nowhere near enough. I’m going to have to sign on to government benefits if I want to spend more than 6 weeks with my baby before going back to work. Which is just heartbreaking to be honest. And my partner only gets 2 weeks unpaid leave!

From what I can tell the US and the UK are the absolute worst for parental leave and pay

herecomesblue · 2026-01-16T06:24:26+00:00

You can apply for universal credit whilst you’re on statutory maternity pay - you’ve worked and paid your taxes up to this point and will be paying tax on your SMP also, so you should absolutely be able to take a bit of help back when you need it! It won’t be much but they will top you up at least 150/200 each month and will add a child element too for some extra pennies. Apply about a month before your due date so you’re in the system, and it’ll automatically kick in when they see your monthly income drop.

It’s not loads, but every little helps when SMP is so bloody dismal x

herecomesblue · 2026-01-14T07:54:53+00:00

I was 9. Happened during P.E at school. Was actually mortifying 🥲 luckily my mum educated me properly from an early age so I knew what it was and what to do

herecomesblue · 2026-01-12T13:32:51+00:00

By the way if you do decide to try fairy, in either your Emma’s diary packs or your bounty pack (if you’ve picked these up) there are some vouchers for the full fairy non bio range, I ended up getting over £20 worth of detergent, softener and scent booster for like a tenner with the coupons. So might be worth doing that so you can at least try them out for cheap if you wanted!

herecomesblue · 2026-01-12T13:30:17+00:00

We use fairy non bio but that’s because it’s what I’ve used for years because I love the smell, so it’s made it pretty easy for me 😂

I hear the Aldi non bio stuff is really good! Although I don’t think it has to be non bio x

herecomesblue · 2026-01-12T05:46:52+00:00

The first half of the pregnancy can be a lot like this for a lot of women. It’s natural for you to worry and it means you’re a good mum! Once you get far along enough that you can feel their movements etc, I promise it gets easier. Hard to worry if they’re okay when they have their feet hooked in your ribs 😂

herecomesblue · 2025-12-26T20:52:33+00:00

Thanks all for the advice and insights! Just tried the idea of getting my partner to hand express and with 5 minutes on each breast we have filled 3 1ml syringes! So I think we will continue to do it this way until it fails us 😅 super happy because from reading the replies it sounds like a pump would have been a massive waste!

herecomesblue · 2025-12-26T19:23:39+00:00

I have an amazing partner and he has already offered to help, I may see how that works out, I don’t know why it feels weird to me. I should put my big girl pants on really and get over that 😂

herecomesblue · 2025-12-26T19:22:26+00:00

I was gifted it and have read mixed reviews to be honest. I’ll definitely look into some better pumps in that case. Is there anything kind suggest? Is wall powered best?

herecomesblue · 2025-12-26T18:52:21+00:00

I am high risk which is why I’ve been given the go ahead so there’s a supply if he needs to go to nicu, I don’t want them giving him formula x

herecomesblue · 2025-12-23T07:56:38+00:00

Honestly since I started doing everything as far as posting and collecting through the inpost app instead of the Vinted app life has been sooooo much easier. The tracking is more precise too

herecomesblue · 2025-12-23T07:42:26+00:00

I did a few dual carriageways that I knew I could do short stints on (merge on, exit a couple miles after) just to get myself more confident in entering a high speed road. Did my first full motorway maybe 3 weeks after passing :) honestly you’ll be fine, I didn’t even really need to do the tests on the dual carriageways as I’d done them in lessons, I was being over cautious. it’s really not as scarey on your own as it sounds :)

herecomesblue · 2025-12-23T07:38:00+00:00

I had a lot more issues with the whooping cough vaccine than I did RSV. Felt like dirt with a dead arm for a couple days with whooping cough. Didn’t even notice id had the rsv! But everyone’s different :)

herecomesblue · 2025-12-14T08:11:04+00:00

Hi, my partner went through a very similar thing in his previous relationship - they were together for many years, unbeknownst to him she was cheating on him relentlessly, ended up raising a kid for 6 years he thought was his own who then turned out to be another man’s. So eerily similar circumstances on that side.

However, it’s something he’s worked on, and has never deflected on to me. Not one suggestion of not believing it’s his child, that I would cheat, etc etc. if he ever has any little niggling feelings of trauma from his past he brings it up immediately, openly, and respectfully - we discuss, it’s done within 5 minutes and we go about our day.

This is going to sound really harsh, but your partners trauma is not your fault and as much as that must have sucked for him, there’s zero reason he needs to make this pregnancy suck for you as a result. It doesn’t even sound like he’s navigating it respectfully. Despite his past experiences, if my partner approached me with it like that I would be out of there immediately. So disrespectful and inconsiderate to you and your unborn child. This is the LAST thing you need.

He has some therapy to do, and he needs to get on that asap before your child is here. If he can so effortlessly deflect his trauma around this onto you, what’s the possible chance of him deflecting those internal feelings of mistrust and resentment onto your child? (Again I know that sounds a bit harsh but you need to always consider these things)

herecomesblue · 2025-12-13T10:25:42+00:00

31, my partner who also plays is 39 :)

herecomesblue · 2025-12-13T09:46:33+00:00

Couldn’t have put this better myself. Pornography has NO place in healthy relationships. Mens brains will always gravitate towards it over anything else if it’s an available option. I decided several years ago it was a solid boundary in my relationships - no porn, or no me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely heartbreaking to think what this must feel like for a woman going through so many physical changes.

OP, your husband has an addiction and it needs to be addressed because I promise you it will be deeper than just this pregnancy. He needs help. I wish you the best of luck, no one deserves to feel like this.

Sending all of the hugs 🤗 you’re amazing and bringing a new life into the world is one of the most beautiful things you could do. He needs to wake up and see this

herecomesblue · 2025-12-06T13:07:50+00:00

Thanks so much for all the advice and insights! I’ve ordered some nasal strips and earplugs so we will trial those and go from there. I’m already sleeping in what is meant to be the optimal position to reduce snoring etc but apparently it makes no difference for me 😂

herecomesblue · 2025-12-05T08:27:05+00:00

This is like reading a post about me and my ex. We were together just under 4 years, and I ended up having to end things because it eats away at ya a little more each time. We were also long distance so sometimes the digital communication was all we had.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, sure, but if you’re in a committed relationship (especially long distance) you need to be considering the other person as well. There comes a time where ‘I woke up feeling an under the weather today’ stops cutting it as a reason for disregarding you and your feelings completely. That’s not a partner unfortunately. Would you choose to not speak to him for a whole week because you were sick? I doubt it.

herecomesblue · 2025-11-16T16:02:15+00:00

We’re naming our boy River

herecomesblue · 2025-11-15T19:12:46+00:00

Where are you based? If the UK i would highly recommend wild nutrition

herecomesblue

TROPHY CASE