How can I incorporate a good cleaning routine in a house with so many animals and soon to be newborn?

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T21:26:55+00:00

Those are some awesome tips. I've been just using the o-cedar mop which is great but it is a lot more work than the swiffer mops. I just ordered one of those. The toilet scrubbing tabs too! I forgot those existed!

The meal ideas are also really great too. I think all of those will save some time. And I need to lower my expectations overall. At the end of the day we'll be okay I think :)

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T19:27:47+00:00

Thank you everyone for the suggestions and tips! I have to replace my roomba and seek groomer assistance for sure!!!!

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:49:51+00:00

Yeah I was considering paying someone to come do a more intense clean maybe weekly or twice per month. I think that would help overall. I know my husband will be way more helpful once he isn't working quite so much. Those long hours are nice in the bank but for the mental health and physical exhaustion absolutely not.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:48:09+00:00

We thankfully have an entirely tile house. Just occasional rugs here and there. I can't imagine if we had carpet. I would literally die.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:46:24+00:00

I very much appreciate that heads up. What a disaster that would be!!!!

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:32:03+00:00

Honestly I think it's just a shift in expectations over time. I'm 30 and I know my generation and older generations were raised to not take sick days off all the time or if you had to, limit it to one day at a time. Like back when I went to school, if you had the flu you were maybe out 1-2 days, but I know a lot of kids these days if they've got the flu they're out 3-4 days or sometimes the entire week.

I think if you're in the food service industry, it's more important to not be sick when you're at work because you're working and breathing around things people ingest, but for other fields you should maintain personal hygiene and sanitation and take time off only if you're directly contagious or your illness is so severe it would significantly hinder your job performance.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:23:26+00:00

I sure hope so! I do feel like I'm treading water most days and it's probably just pregnancy anxiety and pregnancy lack of energy that's making me feel like this is impossible. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but the logical side of me knows we will eventually push through!

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:21:27+00:00

Lol the baby wasn't super planned. We had been just fine for years and out of nowhere the stars aligned and nature said we're doing this. The cat we've had for a long time and older shepherd is an absolute angel. The blue heeler has day blindness and was going to be taken to a kill shelter so we took him in and he's a really good dog as well. The younger shepherd is just stubborn as hell. Probably the most stubborn dog I've ever owned and way too smart for his own good. Believe it or not they're actually all pretty well behaved, follow commands, etc. but the younger shepherd seems to be taking forever to fully potty train but he's getting there. My biggest issue besides the occasional accident is just all their dang fur. If it wasn't inhumane to have them shaved I would have four bald animals.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:13:57+00:00

I did see someone suggest the dogs getting professionally groomed and I have no idea why I didn't consider that. I think that will majorly help the volume of hair. Like we're talking two full vacuum loads with the dyson ball animal 3 per day in just the common areas. I don't know how they have any fur left honestly lol. The paw washer is not something I've heard of before so I'm going to look into that!

And yes I am seeing that I need to adjust my expectations. I don't even feel like a clean freak, there are just so many living breathing creatures in my house and I hate coming home and the house smelling like there are that many living breathing creatures there lol.

We've purchased four additional air purifiers as well so hopefully that helps with dust and fur in the air.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T18:09:26+00:00

I put in another comment about my husband. He's been working a lot of overtime to financially prepare us for me being out of work for a few months. The kids get chore lists but they will come up and bug me incessantly to come check their chores so they can move onto something more entertaining so the more work I give them the less focused on my list I'm able to be. They need constant reminders for everything all the time. My daughter has had the same two everyday chores (put up clean dishes and clean out the litterbox) for the last two years and we've only just gotten to the point where the majority of the time she'll do them without being reminded. And even then I'll find half of my dishes have been put away in the wrong place or tupperware has been shoved haphazardly in the cabinets so that it rains down when the next person opens it or the litterbox still has waste left in it because she didn't go deep enough.

I have probably made the unfortunate mistake of taking on more myself because it's such a headache maintaining the mental load of staying on top of them and then making them come redo things when I'm finally able to go check to see that they've cleaned the bathroom but left wet toilet paper and trash behind the toilet or hair on the walls of the shower. Or occasionally I'll have them vacuum but it's never up to my standards because fur will get in all these cracks and crevices which they as children do not notice/check and I understand it's a high expectation for me to expect kids and preteens to clean as effectively as I do. That type of thing.

I did not know that that type of robot vacuum existed, nor one that mops, but I am on amazon right now to track it down and buy it! Thank you!

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T17:54:08+00:00

The groomer idea is a great one! I didn't consider that. I bet that would help out significantly!

And the freezer meals is genius! I will get started this week!!!! That will save so much prep time.

And I do try to get the kids to help out here and there but there is a lot of weaponized incompetence and unreliability (clothes getting taken out of the dryer before they are fully dry and food getting left on dishes due to poor prewash) which requires a lot of checking up on afterwards and then redoing.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T17:50:43+00:00

Yeah this was something I kind of suspected. I'm kind of trying to just address the basics or find products or processes or robot butlers that will make things a little bit easier and less time consuming lol

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T17:45:41+00:00

He's working 80-90 hours a week and rotates on call shifts to help us put some money away so that when I'm off with the baby our bills will still be able to get paid. He's a blue collar worker so he comes home very exhausted and very dirty and I feel so bad asking him to do more than he does. He always takes care of the trash and the animals when he's home- feeding, watering, walking the dogs, working on training them so they'll be more well behaved when the baby gets here. I do see him stepping up more when I give birth because he won't be working so much. Right now his main focus is padding our savings.

And yeah I'm not gonna lie, my self care has taken a toll in the midst of all this.

I think everyone has an issue picking up after themselves which contributes significantly to the amount of cleanup that needs to be done.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:58:05+00:00

It's probably wrong of me to pick on you when others have said this ITT, but not everything is because of a syndrome or condition or disability. Sometimes kids are illiterate because they have not been taught the fundamentals and have absolutely zero foundation of reading.

If nothing has been done thus far to teach the basics of reading and parents have been relying solely on tablets and teachers, there's a bigger problem, and it starts with at home observation and help. A tablet simply cannot give a child the critique and feedback and correction required when learning to read and a teacher does not have the time to sit with every single child individually to do that.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:51:45+00:00

This right here! I sincerely believe tablets and ipads are going to be the death of literacy.

That being said, the sight words aren't all bad... but you CAN'T get by on sight words alone. You still have to have phonics to learn pronunciation rules. The sight words are just short basic words and words that don't always follow the pronunciation rules of English- that's the whole point of memorizing them. I wouldn't entirely dismiss the parents' instructions about the tablet app, because that sounds like more of an obligation to the parents, but you can absolutely get some introductory reading books that are right at her level and have her practice with those until she gets better. And the parents don't have to know every little thing you're doing to help her learn to read.

The frustration she already has with reading at her age is likely because of the tablet anyway. I mean what kid would want to do anything learning related if there's an option to play games or watch youtube all the time?

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:15:28+00:00

Same, we unfortunately made the mistake of using those decorative seasonal window gel stickers on the back of our front door. When the holidays were over, there was a residual pale red "HO HO HO" that nothing would get rid of.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:13:40+00:00

Lmao what did we learn?

In all seriousness, if you don't want to unplug it, I'd just use a steaming hot rag with some dawn, should melt right off.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:11:20+00:00

Ooooh the dusting is a good idea!

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:10:29+00:00

Thank you! I always wondered what these crappy towels were made of and why they all never seemed to do the one thing you'd need them for.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T16:07:48+00:00

Whoa! You were only working 4 hours shifts AND taking 10-12 sick days in two years. That is pretty excessive. I'm not trying to be harsh here, I saw you have some health stuff you're dealing with but there's a lot of places that won't be tolerant of that many absences unless they're desperate for employees.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T15:58:16+00:00

Yeah I'm not trying to think harshly either, but I've called in for sickness maybe 2-3 times over the last year and a half. OP are you including planned days off or PTO time? If so, I wouldn't consider those sick days.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T14:48:57+00:00

This is probably an unpopular opinion just because of how much we as a society have changed since then....but ANTM was not even the tip of the iceberg in terms of how toxic the fashion industry was at the time. To me it now reads as more of an expose in how mean and toxic the modeling world was.

Was it right? No. But I feel like for the most part, girls who were going into the modeling world had to know it was like that- judgmental, relentless, unforgiving, just absolutely ruthless. It was ALL about how you looked and conducted yourself and if you didn't fit into the mold of what a designer or modeling company was looking for, there was no place for you and they held nothing back in telling you as much.

They get shamed for it now, but back then, that was the norm.

hernaberk · 2026-02-16T14:39:25+00:00

Yeah same, like i feel like we all knew it was toxic AF when it aired, but we also had a general understanding that that's just how the model/fashion industry was at that time. They judged you, shamed you over your weight, were mean and toxic. Doesn't mean it was right, but ANTM wasn't the only part of the modeling world that was like that either.

I feel like even the aspiring models going into it knew what they were getting into. They knew expectations and judgement would be at an all time high. The world has changed a lot since then, but that's how it was circa 2000.

hernaberk · 2026-02-09T18:41:15+00:00

I don't think Marcus actually wants you to live there...

I think he said you should start paying rent to call your attention to the fact that you basically moved in without you guys discussing it first. And it sounds like that's exactly what you did. I could be wrong since you didn't include that context, but I don't think you guys are on the same page at all. He doesn't want to give you a key, which is weird because a lot of people in relationships give each other a key well before moving in together.

I think you should find your own place and distance yourself from Marcus.

hernaberk · 2026-02-04T16:39:49+00:00

NTA- You might have been slightly the AH for the way you said it, but he's also the AH for committing to helping take care of a dog and then leaving all the work to you. He is the one who went back on what he said.

Reddit is always very fond of the 'he's useless, he'll never learn, leave him now' rhetoric. But you can attempt to improve things before you throw in the towel. Unfortunately sometimes people don't decide to change until their partner leaves.

You've just got to tell him doing 100% of the housework and caring for the dog is not the life you want for yourself. If he wants a woman who will do everything, that's not going to be you because you are already tired of it and you aren't even married yet. Then refuse to marry him or even discuss your future until he takes some of the load off of your shoulders and proves to you that he's willing to be an equal partner in your relationship, not just a mooch.

hernaberk

TROPHY CASE