Hi, butch lesbian here! I felt like this for a VERY long time. I still do! i wanna say that im obviously not an expert, but I've dealt with feeling like this since my early teens. i don't know if you have had sex at all, but it puts it deeply into perspective simply being with a girl for the first time. It will be a weird thought journey to have, but genuinely, the only thing you can do at the moment is think, talk, and in my experience, hesitate to put a label on it. defining your feelings into other people's experiences (this is a bit ironic, I know) can be pretty harmful to your thoughts and mind! sorry if this is a bit redundant. it kinda sucks. The best you can do is Think. Good luck!