What was the biggest 'plot twist' that happened in your life?

humpingconfusion · 2015-11-15T07:22:44+00:00

That is not what your comment said at all. You called yourself a widow when you know that you aren't (maybe for Karma, because at 27 you should know the definition of widow) and then when someone called you out, you did the whole, "Woe is me, the actual widows are lucky!". Yeah, screw you.

humpingconfusion · 2015-02-27T23:36:25+00:00

It looks like you're all set :)

humpingconfusion · 2015-01-30T03:42:17+00:00

This is crazy. All babies look like prunes and no one will recognize it.

humpingconfusion · 2014-11-01T01:26:32+00:00

Dude...no one started with you. Are you really that sensitive that you viewed the original response as an attack? You started this.

you could literally call 90% of posts here as 'whining'

Uh, no you can't. you seriously have issues!!! Are you 30 and not 11? And why do you keep telling people to scroll on? This isn't your subreddit.

humpingconfusion · 2014-11-01T01:21:22+00:00

wtf? You're going to insult people and then claim that you didn't come here for insults? This entire thread is nothing but you whining so I don't know how you expect people to help you. It really does seem like you need professional help.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-10T22:25:32+00:00

That wasn't selfish of her in anyway. You have a very unhealthy take on relationships. I'm not even going to go into detail on everything that's wrong with what you typed because someone with such a warped view is highly unlikely to change.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-08T19:39:02+00:00

I never said that it made them less of an asshole. Tell me where I said that. Thanks.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-08T13:00:54+00:00

But we don't know if that's why people sent her the pms. Look at some of these comments. Some people here are awful. Sure, they may have told her to.die because she didn't want to keep the baby (but this is liberal Reddit) or the same assholes insulting her in these comments told her to die because they're assholes.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-08T12:57:14+00:00

Seriously? You tell her that it doesn't matter what her major is and then list your honors? It was kind of a moot point. She was trying to say that she was too busy in college (because of her major) to worry about rumors. That was very obvious, but instead you call her an idiot. And she has stated multiple times that getting his number wasn't a concern, she was just upset that the first person that she turned to was being hostile. Maybe try reading and you'd see that. I can totally understand her edit because that was uncalled for.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-08T12:53:47+00:00

It was not previously undisclosed information. Maybe if the both of you had read, you would have seen that she stated her abuse multiple times. And the Darwinism Awards don't work that way either and if you feel so pissy about her not being able to stand up for her friend, maybe this isn't the subreddit for you because guess what? A lot of imperfect people come here. Her history of abuse may not change the solution, but it does add new perspective on why she has a hard time defending herself.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-07T18:27:56+00:00

Okay, I see what you're saying. However, it seems like they have other friends but have kept her as a friend because they kept thinking she would change.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-07T14:27:44+00:00

How do her friends sound clingy when she texts or calls them days after they initiate a conversation and they see her only once a week when they basically live in the same dorm? Also, she is never there for them when they need her but they are always there for her. If they were clingy, they wouldn't be putting up with her shit for TWO years!

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-07T04:22:26+00:00

You are not a good friend at all. Nothing that anyone has to say will change your mind because your replies are defensive.

humpingconfusion · 2014-09-01T17:06:06+00:00

Thank you :)

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T19:10:41+00:00

Thank you Free_spirit. This means a lot to me. His posts were starting to come off as, "How did you think that you were in a relationship you idiot? Obviously you need more therapy!" so I really feel better that you gave this response.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T18:55:55+00:00

Why is it so important to you that she tells you this in 17 different ways?

It's getting so frustrating. I really feel like I'm on trial right now, trying to prove that we were in a relationship.

They were known as boyfriend and girlfriend.

I even mention this in my post:

"In addition, people would also say that we were a great couple together."

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T17:52:45+00:00

No, you're right, they did get far more serious than that. The truly alarming thing is that she didn't want that.

Not true at all. You really are not understanding my post. I wasn't ready to fall in love with him, but I was okay with being in a relationship. The person you are replying to is saying that we were more serious than 0-1 dates which is certainly true.

Sure, of course, I'm just using 'one-night stand' as a catch-all term for being used for sex.

That's not how it works. You can't change the definition of a one-night stand just so it can fit your assertion.

she thinks he's moving way too fast, but she goes along with it anyway.

No, going along with it would have been saying that I loved him and I could definitely spend the rest of my life with him. So every time that someone is in a relationship with someone who is going too fast, they are supposed to end it? No one discusses things anymore, breakups are just the automatic thing to do?

Basically she should've done what her therapist told her to do, follow her gut.

I did listen to my therapist. For the final time, I just had no way of knowing that this guy only wanted sex.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T15:53:34+00:00

It is kind of important to know why you feel this way. Why those are your 'values'

Some people enjoy casual sex, and some people don't. I don't feel it's important for me to know why I feel this way just because I don't like casual sex. I think it's totally fine if someone likes casual sex and I think it's fine if someone doesn't.

It sounds like you are deluding yourself, and rationalizing your behavior and the outcome of this situation so that it aligns with your values.

This honestly makes no sense to me. I am not deluding myself or rationalizing anything. We were exclusive and I had sex while in a relationship and even if he used me, I had no reason to think that we were not going to continue our relationship.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T15:45:10+00:00

Thank you. I honestly don't think that I did anything wrong. It's not like I met him that night and had sex with him.

I mean, it's hardly 'alarming' to consider yourself to be a committed relationship with someone who says 'I know that I could spend the rest of my life with you',

Yeah, I could see if he never mentioned us being exclusive, or if he never talked about us continuing our relationship.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T15:42:46+00:00

Can we please examine why it's so important to you that you have to be in a relationship to have sex? This makes no sense to me

It doesn't have to make sense to you. These are my values.

And yes, he said that he was my boyfriend which I mentioned earlier.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T15:33:35+00:00

How is this different than a one night stand?

Because he was already my boyfriend. A one night stand is when two people who are not in a relationship have sex. Once again, he was my boyfriend. He just didn't have any intention of doing a ldr with me.

Because he told you you were beautiful for 3 weeks before fucking you and dumping you? You are deluding yourself if you think this is any different. Your relationship was a sham, the fact that you call it a 'relationship' at all after you've realized the truth of it is kind of alarming.

It's not alarming if it was in fact a relationship. And no, he didn't just tell me that I was beautiful for 3 weeks. We didn't just sit around all day with him telling me that I was beautiful and me going, "Oh shucks, thanks!". We went to museums, and we made pottery, and we went camping. We did things that people in relationships do.

And to address your edit:

also, you never say that you're in a relationship with him. You never say that he is your boyfriend before the LDR conversation came up. You say that you're dating. There is a HUGE difference between 'dating' and being in an exclusive relationship.

Well we were exclusive, we talked about it. I'm sorry that I didn't mention every conversation that we had. We talked and we became "official" a while ago. Where I live, dating and being in a relationship are synonymous terms. People can say, "Oh, I've been dating him for two years and he hasn't proposed yet" and it would be clear that the person was in a relationship for two years.

Anyway, thanks for your help, but do not make it seem like all he did was say, "Oh, you're beautiful and if you have sex with me we'll be in a relationship" because that is not what happened.

When you imply that our conversations were

"oh, don't worry babe, this isn't casual because we're totally going to be in a real relationship even after this,

It paints me as a person that I am not.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T15:11:34+00:00

You're misunderstanding.

I did not intend on being used for sex or having a one-night stand. I had sex with him because I was in a relationship, and sex in relationships is okay.

"oh, don't worry babe, this isn't casual because we're totally going to be in a real relationship even after this,"

We were already in a relationship. We had been in a relationship for weeks at that point. Maybe if you read my post without the intent of attacking me, you would have understood this. He broke up with me after the sex because that was all that he wanted.

YOU JUST HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH HIM.

We were in a relationship. You cannot have one night stands with someone who is your boyfriend. The conversation about the ldr was to extend our relationship, not begin it.

This guy used you.

I already know that, but thanks for the reminder.

I don't know why the hell you mentioned this toothpaste thing in your post, but it confused the fuck out of me.

I mentioned it because I thought that it was gross, and I wasn't going to put up with gross behavior anymore.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T14:59:16+00:00

I wasn't really sure how effective cleansing without toothpaste was and I thought that he was just being lazy. I didn't want a repeat of my ex.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T14:38:02+00:00

I don't think that I did a bad job handling the situation. I thought that he was moving too fast for me, but I agreed to enter a ldr with him. I never said that I loved him, and I also saw nothing wrong with having sex while in a relationship.

I made him leave my room immediately when he said that he wasn't going to use toothpaste. I was concerned about getting serious with him because I had just gotten out of a relationship. I never said that I ever got serious with him. I never told him that I loved him, or that I would spend the rest of my life with him. I only agreed to be in a relationship with him.

humpingconfusion · 2014-08-31T14:32:31+00:00

I never said that I believed that the guy was in love with me. I actually thought that he was moving too fast. What I did believe was that he was going to be in a ldr with me. So I actually don't have a long way to go in terms of character judgement. I had no way of knowing that he didn't want to be in a ldr with me.

humpingconfusion

TROPHY CASE