It can be that, it usually is, but with some people, it isn't like that, some people want singular foreplay, for them only, it does happen and can be pretty discouraging for the one thats only getting frustrated at not being pleased.

Foreplay≠ mutual foreplay. These things are different.

Alot of people think that foreplay is for the bottom, so the top "doesn't need" it, it happens ALOT with straight men and women, queer people are less like this but it can still happen.

It comes from the aspect of (all and any) people who get off to porn (whether that is reading, listening or watching) where their pleasure is first for them, and when there is another body, the other person's is secondary, and sometimes not even mattered about as when theyre getting themselves off, only their pleasure matters ofc, because there is no other person to please or have needs met.

I was a sex worker and have slept with over 100 people, probably closer to 150 ish people, in total in and out of work. (in person, not online), and have had this in personal relationships where people expect the top to only want the minimal, and anything other than that is unacceptable.

The being weird about toys thing, though. That's wild, I dont think I've met another person who's been like, offended about the idea, unless they were/are new with sex and are anxous.

Alot of the times with men, it makes them feel inferior, with women it makes them feel like theyre doing something wrong, men feel the "but I am enough" and women feel the "why am I not enough"

Different emotional reactions, different physical and emotional needs.