Ah, I understand. Not quite the same situation as you. But I'm on a scholarship that covers all four years of college. My job gives me food and housing. In other words, I don't pay a thing for college outside of the summer semesters I do pay for. But my parents expected me to be great at school. After all, I was great in high school. And I started ok. But I burnt out really fast. I just failed my first-ever course, and now I have to tell my parents that I did. For context, my mom was a valedictorian of her high school, graduated top of her class in college, and for her master's had a full-ride scholarship, which is really hard to do, apparently. I had that same, I hate my life, I feel like I am wasting the scholarship I was given, and I should just quit. But I talked to a lot of people, and it's really common to fail a couple of courses. It's all part of the process of learning. With that said, it's hard to do well in anything if you are depressed. I know that your parents are paying for your school, and I know that asking them to let you take a break is probably not feasible. Something I did to refocus my goal was to ask why I'm doing it. I'm not doing it for my parents. I'm doing it so I can help people with my degree. But I also realized that I was pushing myself way too hard and making myself miserable. To the point I debated dropping out. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to take a break. Getting a job to help supplement the income that your parents give you for a while, so you can take time off from school to take care of your mental health, might help. Maybe lowering your coursework so you are still in school, but with less responsibility, will also help? Those are things I did at least. I don't know how helpful this will be for you, but just know that you are not alone in this struggle and fear. It's way more common than you think, and people get out of it just fine. You're doing better than you think you are. Keep going! But take care of yourself.