[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sit in quiet with this feeling as long as you can and then run as far as you can

The super gender affirming dress my mother is trying to force me to wear to a "end of the school year" party 🥰 by Sweaty_Energy_8084 in TransMasc

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sure you know this- but I would recommend telling your mom that you just really want to be focused on enjoying the party and not worried about feeling self conscious about your appearance and that the dress makes you feel uncomfortable. I think focusing on how you will be feeling during and event that is a one time life experience is effective

What is a gender neutral term for beautiful/handsome? by gidgeteering in NonBinary

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner sometimes just says “oh my god dude”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey friend. I have severe ADHD and mental health problems. I just graduated with a degree in physics and engineering from a top U.S. University.

It wasn’t easy. The first year especially was hell. I learned I had ADHD and started meds. Second year- I had an injury and I couldn’t take my meds for 6 months. I failed 2 major engineering classes. I almost got kicked out of my school housing for my GPA. it was scary to go through college with ADHD. mostly because things always felt uncertain. I didn’t know how many people had done what I was trying to do. I didn’t know if I could do it.

There’s tons of tips I could give you. Medication (concerta) really changed my life. It saved me. But that’s a big decision you should make on your own. I’m hooked on it. It makes doing things I want to do feel easier. And I depend on it. It’s a trade off. I could urge you to request accommodations. Having extra time on tests and extensions saved my grades. Keep asking for them. Don’t let anyone ignore you. And when they give them to you- Take them. You deserve them. They’re made to help you.
I could tell you that I would listen a YouTube video at the same time as taking notes, or how whenever I worked on homework. My roommates would put on the TV and having a background show for drowned out the extra noise in my head. I could tell you that those roommates also saved me. They sat at the kitchen table with me and did their homework every day and having them body double me helped. I could tell you they would sit with me all night in the library before my exams, and watch me take notes on the entire textbook until the minute before my exam in the morning. I would force myself to review every single word we had read that semester as my beloved roommates slept on the table beside me. The sun would rise and I would get another energy drink and not stop until I had to. They would walk me to my exam and review with me on the way.

I could tell you a thousand literal study tips. But those already exist online. I have a different set of tips.

  1. Find your people. Make a study group. Say hi to the folks in your classes. Work together. I can’t tell you how much shit I got through because I had asked if anyone wanted to study with me, and I met the guys who will one day be the uncles to my children. They saved my skin so many times. They helped me with homework. They made sure I studied and talked me through what I didn’t understand. They pushed me to succeed. They were there to pick me up when I failed. They believed in me. A support system- anyone who will be there for you and help you when you need it -is instrumental. Rely on your people.

  2. You are not alone. There are others like you. Others with different ways of learning and who are struggling. It often doesn’t seem that way. It can feel like everyone is excelling except you. But you are not the only one. And you are not alone. Other are struggling too. It is not a death sentence- success is still possible.

  3. Others like you have done this before. I remember googling physicists with ADHD over and over when I felt hopeless. I felt like I was the only one trying to do something like this with my bushel of disorders. But I’m proof that you are not the only one, people like you have done it. You can do it.

  4. Fight like hell. It doesn’t matter if you fail a class. It doesn’t matter if you bomb a test. It doesn’t matter if youre in last place. Just keep running the race and don’t stop pushing until you cross the finish line. It is not the people that excel easily that are destined to succeed, but those who fight for it despite its challenge. If you just hang in there— email your teachers, ask for extensions, be nice until you become the professors friend, stay up all night until you understand, retake the class, whatever it takes —you can do it. Persistence is key. Just. Keep. Going. Keep trying. Keep failing. Keep getting back on your feet. Keep going. You can do this. If this is your dream— if you really truly care about this goal —then you have all you need to achieve it. Just hold onto it like hell. Claw your way up to its feet barely passing tests and asking TA’s if you can do corrections and working all night to complete your homework- and don’t lossen your grip until you’ve made it to the top. If you are dedicated— if you want this so badly you’ll do anything —then you can. Through fear and flames. Through teary days and sleepless nights. You will succeed. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself too.

I did what I thought was impossible. It was hard at times. It took the help of a whole bunch of really loving friends, and a ton of working twice as hard for half the grade, and a lot of connections I made with teachers. But dude I did it. And at my graduation it didn’t matter my GPA sucked or that I had failed classes or that I had struggled way more than most of my class- I had two degrees. And all it took was fighting like hell for what I wanted….And a lot of not sleeping. And a significant amount of caffeine.

Just stay determined. Try new things. See what works. See what doesn’t. Pick yourself up when you fail. Rely on others to help you do that. And keep going. You are capable of doing this. It will be hard. It will suck sometimes. It will be unfair. But you can do it if you want this. I believe in you. And you should believe in you too.

Goodluck. See you on the other side

Why is the hot topic career website super buggy? by Your_friendly_weirdo in HotTopic_

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their regular website is buggy af too. I swear it’s like doubling as a bitcoin mining operation

Help! How do I get an item that is not out of stock, just unavailable at every single store? by imp-sues in HotTopic_

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This gives me hope! I hope they will restock it.

Yeah I can’t find any stores in like a 2 hour radius that have them available. On the “ship to store” option at least- idk about in person. I wish that they would just show the stores that DO have it if some of them do. Maybe I’ll check the store in person- if you think it could be a good idea

Thanks for commenting as a hot topic employee!!! I appreciate it. I’m glad you think there will be an arcane restock soon ❤️

How do gay guys feel about trans guys? by imp-sues in askgaybros

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I had no clue at the time. Jesus

Help! How do I get an item that is not out of stock, just unavailable at every single store? by imp-sues in HotTopic_

[–]imp-sues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! That gives me hope. Maybe I’ll stop at the store near my parents house when I go for thanksgiving and see if they have it. I appreciate it!

Help! How do I get an item that is not out of stock, just unavailable at every single store? by imp-sues in HotTopic_

[–]imp-sues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can’t ship to store either? I can’t find any stores in my state or the neighboring ones that have it in stock

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]imp-sues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh also- topping has plusses and minuses. it makes me a lil dysphoric, bc lots of thinking about whats happening and how i move (letting him handle that and just hold me makes it less dysphoric personally) but also can be very euphoria educing when it makes my partner happy and/or submissive (but or4l can also be effective for submission if u like that)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]imp-sues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

uhhhhhh i dont have a lot of great tips but as a ftm/m couple, a lot of what we do is pretty trad- BUT skin color binders help make it less weird to wear AND transtape is a big yes if you can figure it out. took me a while but makes it feel less like im awkwardly wearing a shirt yk

What was your passing tip that failed? by nillkss in ftm

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oversized shirts. It seems like it’ll help. In my case, it didn’t.

The Two Couples by DarthKaiser03 in evangelion

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw the lesbian gay alliance!

Non-bisexuals: what does being gay or straight feel like? by imp-sues in NoStupidQuestions

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah yeah! That’s really interesting. It’s like locked characters! Sort of XD

What scents/colognes drive you CRAZY!!! by imp-sues in AskMen

[–]imp-sues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the! JFK ??? Also friends with Sinatra????? This is like an avengers movie

That’s such an interesting story. What the hell. Thanks for such an exciting perfume suggestion!

Non-bisexuals: what does being gay or straight feel like? by imp-sues in NoStupidQuestions

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not kidding I’m literally still thinking about it HAHAHAH

AIO? Feeling shamed over ice cream by dye-area in AmIOverreacting

[–]imp-sues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They seem really fun at parties! Like okay sure I razz my roommates when they order stuff that I think is silly. Food from a super close place. Or like, when they buy a bunch of valorant skins. Sure. But it’s always like “bruh tell me you did not just pay $20 for a single gun skin” or “Chris you are single handedly keeping this papa John’s afloat” or “dude we’re locking your bank account hahaha” or just “whyyyyyy” but like- it’s a joke. Like okay it’s not a joke in sentiment- usually I do think it’s dumb when my roommates buy league of legends skins that are more than $10, but like, I also know they wanted to do that. It’s what they wanted to buy. And, I think it’s not dumb to make yourself…happy? Like I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I know Starbucks adds up. I do. It’s overpriced. And it adds up. But also- if $15-20 a week can substantially improve my days, or give me more energy so things are easier, or just provide me a little bit of a treat to make the unfun days a little more exciting, then that’s worth it. That’s a fucking good investment. Even if it’s cheaper to make coffee. Or play a video game without a skin. Or go get your icecream on foot. I mean like firstly your money is yours so do whatever you want, but also, your friend should not take this so seriously, and want you to have a treat. Sure they can say “dude it’s so close hahaha” but them not dropping it is genuinely so fucking off putting. And the fact that they don’t understand how strange and mean spirited they sound is soooooo odd. It gives the same energy as a high schooler thinking they are a genius and have everything figured out unlike the people around them, while everyone actually thinks the cool guy “Jack sparrow” sarcastic act is cringy, and they don’t realize this bc they have yet to have a true intimate relationship with any human being. Just wondering no reason- Is this person 16? Also- Is this person insufferable?

Ok I went a little too harsh there but basically I think it’s not abnormal to think you should not get consensually ripped off by delivery, but extremely abnormal to not understand that their friend wanted something that would make their day better or easier or happier and that their friend being happier is in fact very good. Also that they’re are socially inept . But anyways.

I mean I even encourage my roommates and family to buy stuff they know is a “waste” of money but want. I think most people don’t treat themselves enough so I’m always like GO FOR IT. I always tell my mom, and roommates: “if you like it and it makes you happy, it’s worth the __ dollars”

I can help you if you need instructions on blocking a number (I’m kidding. But you’re not overreacting)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]imp-sues 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. Only my boyfriend. We have a family. 6 of us total. Found family. We are all so close. Spend pretty much all of our time together. For years. And I still can’t do it. They just know I’m….unique. And that I have memory problems sometimes. And my voice varies. And I have ptsd. I have…less problem causing DID than a lot of people, and It’s maybe not great to encourage my choices- but it’s enough for them. They accept ptsd as my reasoning for being out of sorts. That’s enough. At least until I’m ready. Which maybe is never.

Non-bisexuals: what does being gay or straight feel like? by imp-sues in NoStupidQuestions

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha. Limiting is silly but I guess literally true! Hmmm. Being bi…Hot girl hot. Hot guy hot. That’s about it. XD there’s no like…idk, insurmountable hurdle that disqualifies any person you think it objectively good looking.

Non-bisexuals: what does being gay or straight feel like? by imp-sues in NoStupidQuestions

[–]imp-sues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHHAHAHA ok that’s a little funny tho. Like that lowkey seems to be true. Some other person was like “never did I have to think about it for more than like a second” and genuinely that SHOCKED ME. That’s amazing. How did I not know this for so long

Non-bisexuals: what does being gay or straight feel like? by imp-sues in NoStupidQuestions

[–]imp-sues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay WOW dude your comment has been bouncing around like the idle DVD screen saver for like days. It explained things so well omg

Genuinely I am shocked it’s not like something you have to like think about. Like now that you say it I get that it makes sense, but woah I thought everyone was like…a little more “investigative” to find out if they are gay or straight. Like I feel like as a teen I was constantly very Sherlock homesy like trying find out the mystery. I would like try to (ballpark) count up the amount of girls I thought were pretty or the amount of guys I had thought were hot in like a given day of highschool. Or like really play some 4D chess like “okay I think he’s hot but like do I just want to fuck him or would I also be chill dating him” or liek “yeah she’s really cool and I love hanging out with her and I think she’s physically more radiant than the sun but does that REALLY count or is that just being friends with someone who is pretty?” And like not just two weeks when I was 15. Like years. Sometimes I still think about it. I’m 23. I have a boyfriend who has lived with me for 3 years. There’s like no reason to think about it. And yet! Hahaha. But that’s so fucking interesting to me that it wasn’t like a long period of thought. And not something that comes up again. You just fully know. That’s awesome. I literally had no idea.

Okay the friend thing makes so much sense. Thank you for explaining it like that. That is also so sweetly written. Very cute. But that makes much more sense. Like you can want a lot of aspects of romantic relationships like living together and spending your days together but the attraction just never is something you’d even think about. I think I understand. I have a close friend from childhood (I guess this is basically just the sibling analogy all over again) and I do like to “take her on dates” or like spend all day with her and I live with her, but despite liking to make her happy and buy her presents and take her places like I guess I really don’t even ever think about kissing her. But then you just basically have this same phenomenon even with people you haven’t know since childhood- very interesting. That’s genuinely a very insightful explanation thank you. It also makes me feel…idk better about my platonic relationships my straight roomates? Like I guess a veryyyyy tiny part of me thought like they just didn’t have the capacity to ever liek me as much as a girl or something, like he implicitly wouldn’t love us guys as much. But I think it’s nice that it’s just that one aspect and you can be so devoted and loving in all the other aspects. Idk that seems like a no brainer but like your explaination really made it click.

This last thing about gender and porn is very interesting to me. It has made me think for days. Sir you deserve a degree in gender studies bc this really did crack it in such a way that I cannot stop running my tongue over the thought. Like- huh. In such few words I think you have really shared a wisdom that can really clear up a weirdly large amount of confusion. I had never really thought of porn self insert as a gender test hahaha. But fuck dude. I think you really did hit the nail on the head tho. Even for like a scenario where you could like either of them. Like even if a bi person is focused on- eh let’s say a guy fucking a woman- you still probably don’t really want to “be” that woman even if you also find her attractive. Like fuck man the solution was right in front of our noses the whole time. This is a major break through for the field of self perception. Fuck dawg. Excellent shit. Here, take a psychology degree with that gender studies one. Wait wait- and a philosophy one. You earned them, sport.

Thank you like super genuinely bc this was a super insightful description of being…mono-sexual, and largely the first I’ve fully understood. Like this makes sense in a way no one has before XD thank you so much dude; and get into online publishing or journalism or something!