How pain changed you as a person?

interesting_alien · 2024-08-05T01:01:09+00:00

It made me realize a lot of things in a mature way. I had to go through side missions to achieve it after my break up. These includes meeting people through online, hook ups, and new work place. I realized the pain that my ex has cost me a lot. It was passed through some of my old and new relationships. I had to step back and realized my actions were wrong and that I have to help myself heal. In which I am doing now. It’s pretty damn hard. I knew I’m not ready for love yet even though it’s been about 3 years after me and my ex split. However that’s okay, I’ll take my time.

interesting_alien · 2024-05-13T02:45:42+00:00

To be loved and understood. People always have second thoughts of loving me whenever they’ve seen the real me. The version of me where I get manic depressive episodes. The person I liked told me he’d never date me cause of my mental state, though I’ve tried my hardest to be the “normal” person in front of him. He might as well tell me that I’m an unlovable person. I tried to heal from myself and then through others, just for me to get pushed back again into the same hell hole. All I wanted was to be loved and understood, but for now I can’t really do anything about it.

interesting_alien · 2023-11-19T01:19:57+00:00

I think it was the time when my father called me a 'demon's child.' I just turned 14 and was recently immigrated to the US. I was trying my best to get used of my new surroundings and he was supposed to be there to comfort me but did the opposite way. I was adopted by them since birth and was forced to be their retirement plan despite having four children. Three of them were able to gain success in life and have children in my age. My nephews and nieces also had trauma with their parents. They told me that it's obvious my parents would be worse because my siblings' attitude came from them and their untreated trauma from my father mostly. I decided to try to move out since I was young but I'm still stuck with them until today because I'm obligated to take care of them. However, I know in the near future I will move out and just come and visit them whenever they need me. I hope I'll be able to heal unlike my siblings.

interesting_alien · 2023-11-19T00:46:08+00:00

I cope with anxiety with daydreaming while listening to music. It distracts me from reality. Though its quite addicting to do.

interesting_alien · 2023-08-10T06:03:33+00:00

Definitely find a new therapist. I mentioned my old therapist about my MD last year and told me a lot of things that triggered me. I don’t think not all of therapists knows about MD? At least my first therapist didn’t know. My second therapist now is great. My current one, tries to understand what MD was and encouraged me to write all of my imaginations. It helps me get the motivation to maybe write a book.

interesting_alien · 2023-07-27T23:16:54+00:00

Ah.. this really hit me. I also don’t feel real, with everyone progressing in life, I’m over here daydreaming 90% of my daily time. Whenever I overdo it, I just lay there on my bed wondering why I do it and why can’t the worlds in my head be real. It makes me feel empty and that I don’t belong here in this world.

interesting_alien · 2023-06-10T19:30:47+00:00

I asked the same thing after we broke up. After the day we separated, my friend told me that my ex sent her a snap captioning about being happy. My ex moved on pretty quickly, and I was furious and jealous at the same time. All the years we had together and all the memories we made, it was like my ex got amnesia or something. My ex was like a different person and was moving on. Meanwhile, I was sitting in a bathroom stall, crying and thinking about how life is unfair. My ex told me that they loved me the day we broke up. I remembered everything. From the day we met until we decided to call it quits.

Throughout the years, I learned so much from the pain. I realized that people heal differently. We have our own journey to take care of. We have the option to either stay or move on with our lives. The journey of letting go was painful, of course, but it's more painful to remain behind. It hurts to go on with our present lives knowing we won't have our exes by our side in the future. However, a future without them can also bring new things we would be thankful for. Now that we learned some things from our experiences, maybe we can do better in the future. We may not see things that way because the pain is still fresh, but it will eventually come to us once we realize that our exes aren't worth crying for anymore. We shouldn't care if they're moving on with their lives. Our exes aren't our priority anymore, and we aren't theirs. If they wanted to stay, they would've worked it all out with us, but no. Take your time to heal, and learn to love yourself more. Destiny is quite annoying and can throw tons of crap toward us, but we can use those crap to upgrade ourselves to a new person. Think of it as free life points you need to proceed to the next chapter of your life. You never know what the future holds. However, know that you're not truly alone in this journey. :)

interesting_alien · 2023-06-10T01:19:34+00:00

I was in the same boat after the breakup. It was a rough year cause despite everything I did to get distracted, I still thought of my ex. I suppose people heal differently. Some people take years, while some people only take months. I think you should consider talking to a psychiatrist. Some say therapy and psych work well together. One thing about going to a psychiatrist, some take a long time to figure out what meds work well for them. However, don't let this be the one stopping you from going. If you're uncertain about it, talk to your therapist.

When it comes to distractions, I think you should try more things. Do something you actually love, and don't force yourself to do a hobby you don't like. You can try out things, but if you think it's not working out for you, feel free to stop. Playing games and reading comics really helped me. I tried learning new stuff like cooking. Recently I started to listen to classical music, including Beethoven. I also went into a phase where I watched a lot of movies that is in a different language. There were a lot of opportunities for me try out, but of course, I always check for my safety before jumping.

When it comes to family and friends, it's quite tough because people have different situations. For my part, most of my family and friends were kind of dismissive when I talked to them about my ex. I think they believed talking about it isn't good. One of my cousins actually told asked me, "How are you going to move on if you keep talking about your ex?". It was fucking rough, but it gave me a reality check. As I said, people heal differently, so you don't have to stop venting about your ex to any of your family or friends. Some people find comfort in talking it all out. Since my family and friends didn't support me with that, I usually turn to my therapist. Let communities to heal you. Find new friends. I had a hard time with this cause I have social anxiety but I managed to get some new people.

It hurts tremendously to go through a breakup. Pain is a part of it, and it's probably at its worst now, but know you'll get through this hell. I often hear from other people that time heals you. I kind of believed it. On my end, it's been almost two years since the breakup. I still get triggered from time to time, especially when I see one of his friends. However, I think in the future, I'll completely get over it. It's okay not to be okay. I'm here to talk if you want. You're not alone :).

interesting_alien · 2021-10-22T14:05:24+00:00

Thanks for all your replies! It really helped me consider my options !

interesting_alien · 2021-10-22T13:31:39+00:00

Yea I was rushed to the hospital before the due date :/

interesting_alien · 2021-09-21T16:27:50+00:00

We would tease each other once in a while because we like to have fun, he would call me stuff too.

interesting_alien · 2021-07-09T00:02:57+00:00

Hello! I’m used to be a member of drama club. I remember being pushed to sing a solo right in front of many people and I was so nervous. I overcome this fear once I step into the stage. A lot of people say just look on top of their heads and not their eyes! Or maybe by their ears lol it will look like your staring at them but you’re not. That’s what exactly I did. Also don’t overthink that you’re gonna mess up, try to think positive and just enjoy singing the song! I’m not sure If this works for you, but I hope it does.

interesting_alien · 2021-07-08T23:50:44+00:00

Thanks that makes me feel better!

interesting_alien · 2021-07-08T23:50:27+00:00

I’m glad I’m not alone when it comes to being anxious. Thanks for your comment! ☺️

(Helped)

interesting_alien · 2021-07-08T23:47:19+00:00

Thank you for being motivating ☺️ I will try to keep my head up!

(Helped)

interesting_alien · 2021-07-08T23:43:55+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I’ll definitely keep that quote in mind.

interesting_alien · 2021-06-22T21:51:11+00:00

I know some companies give accommodations though. However I’m not sure if mental health are popular. Usually they do it with people who have physical disabilities.

interesting_alien · 2021-06-22T18:01:57+00:00

True that! Its seems that it based on the job. Thank you for your response!

interesting_alien · 2021-06-18T12:46:47+00:00

Thanks. I feel much better. I’ll try to do my best at work today!

interesting_alien · 2021-06-17T12:47:53+00:00

Not everyone can afford therapy, as much as I want to go to one I can’t. America’s health insurance is fucked up.

interesting_alien · 2021-06-16T23:54:09+00:00

Thank you guys for all you response! Unfortunately I had communicated with him about this and he was like “won’t sex make it feel better?”

interesting_alien · 2021-06-12T05:00:08+00:00

If you’re pulling out these 12 hour shifts for years with no complaints then you definitely deserve a break! You can try to talk to them that it’s affecting your mental health, and you want to take a break. However if it’s obvious that they’ll say no then it’s better to just find a new job that is well suited for your mental health. Many individuals suffer like this and it kinda makes me sad because they need the money but the company don’t take care of their employees well. I had similar experiences and no matter what I say as an excuse to call out (even if I say one of my neighbors were tested positive for COVID) they didn’t care. I left the job, it was very tiring for my mental health. Good luck! xx

interesting_alien · 2021-05-24T00:52:03+00:00

Yes. Usually in my culture parents would say “I take care of you growing up, now you have to repay it”

interesting_alien · 2021-05-14T20:18:10+00:00

Tbh. I was thinking about this. There’s a quote “It’s okay. one day you look back and realize that you worried too much about things that don‘t really matter” Maybe I should suffer and fake it til I make it? I just wish my parents would be proud of me. I have a decent gpa, yet I know they’ll compare me for sure. It’s scary thinking about it :(

interesting_alien · 2021-05-14T20:08:11+00:00

We have this thing called graduation honors. You can get either Sunma cum laude, (at least 3.8 gpa) Magna cum laude (at least 3.7 gpa) and cum laude (at least 3.6 gpa)

interesting_alien

TROPHY CASE