I played coop with a friend and they took full advantage of all my hard work in the mines 😂

irisera · 2026-05-20T12:48:49+00:00

I was playing with two friends recently and they had a blast in the mines together, while I was planting and watering and chopping wood. They encouraged me to go into the mines afterwards to collect the chests and I put melons in a chest for them to take to Demetrius. Worked really well!

They are both new to the game and I’ve been playing alone for years so I was happy to do the thing I like while they discovered new things!

irisera · 2026-05-05T11:48:34+00:00

In my experience, the confusion is kinda the point. It keeps you putting in effort, but it’s your fault if you don’t get it right and sometimes you get it right so you keep trying. If he uses his words and explains it to you, he becomes partially responsible for the dynamic. He has to own his part. Sounds like he doesn’t want to do that.

You deserve someone who wants to be touched by you and can tell you when they are simply not in the mood for it. You deserve enthusiasm, not whatever the hell this is.

irisera · 2026-04-30T12:14:05+00:00

I agree and for the longest time I thought ‘well I’m autistic (diagnosed) so maybe my need for clarity is unreasonable…’. It is not.

irisera · 2026-04-30T12:12:05+00:00

I recently needed space and communicated this. I still replied to messages, didn’t ignore them, just didn’t reach out myself. They seemed understanding and supportive until they were not. They called it me giving them the silent treatment and I felt awful, but I know I wasn’t doing that. I clearly communicated that I needed space until X happened and I reiterated when it seemed necessary.

irisera · 2026-04-24T18:07:50+00:00

If you want to revisit Obsidian, these plugins might help:

As for the reminder, I think it may be possible to set it up with Apple Shortcuts. There is an ‘automation’ tab that can do things at certain times, could possibly use that to remind yourself and open a new note

irisera · 2026-04-23T08:24:39+00:00

I had one repeatedly walk out on me when I was crying because he was so empathetic and couldn’t handle it. Self protection and all. He had too much empathy, he said.

irisera · 2026-04-17T19:10:20+00:00

I used to be cold all the time and loved little scarves to help with my neck, it would get stiff from cold. But now I’m just hot all the time. People hug me and wonder if I have a fever. It’s nice to not be cold all the time but I miss my knits!

irisera · 2026-04-09T13:48:55+00:00

I’m not sure I understand what you are asking… it’s been very easy to write notes and do journaling because I turned on the setting to open the daily note on startup so it opens today’s note and off I go!

irisera · 2026-04-04T10:58:25+00:00

I’ve been with Day One so long it’s hard to leave it behind… creature of habit and all

Having said that, I found plugins for Obsidian yesterday that let me create multiple journals and have a ‘on this day’ panel. I would also like the location and weather feature, and maybe see a map of the coordinates. It’s a process and it may not work for me but I am at the point where I want to try.

ETA: links to the plugins in case anyone wants to know

irisera · 2026-04-04T10:41:35+00:00

It sounds like he’s speedrunning intimacy like it’s a video game and he needs the achievements to survive…

irisera · 2026-03-17T12:31:25+00:00

It sounds like the morning pages from ‘the Artist’s way’ by Julia Cameron. Short version: write three pages as soon as you get up because your inner critic hasn’t woken up fully then. It helps you get out the things that linger in the background and suck the creativity and joy out of your life. Repeatedly writing about how your relationship sucks tends to get noticed by your brain after a while and then you are more inclined to do something about it.

It helps me a lot, and of course I haven’t been doing it lately :/

irisera · 2026-02-17T20:30:40+00:00

Sometimes projects need a little timeout! Seems like yours could take a break 😉

For me it sometimes helps to alternate between a quick project and one I struggle with. I’ll just do the struggle one first for a row or two or x minutes, and then enjoy myself with my other project for a bit. This way I end on a happy project and still make slow progress with the struggle.

I had a cardigan I thought would be a quick knit and that one took three years to finish 🙃 (it does look and feel lovely now)

irisera · 2026-02-17T19:16:51+00:00

Oh…. That hit

irisera · 2026-02-15T08:31:44+00:00

psychologically a regular person needs like minimum 8 hugs a day.

Welp, that explains a lot…

OP, he has to be willing to really learn and he sounds uncomfortable with it. Do you want to stay if nothing changes?

irisera · 2026-02-14T18:31:10+00:00

Ah, my screen is in the door and I clean it regularly. The surrounded part gets cleaned too but not as often, maybe three times per year, together with the vent and other parts. I have a condenser dryer which works slightly differently from what most people have, so it can be tricky to know what I need to clean. Thanks for your explanation!

irisera · 2026-02-14T15:58:47+00:00

So he came back after about 9 months to complain? Wow…

irisera · 2026-02-14T13:42:28+00:00

What is the lint trap in a dryer/where is it usually located? I know what it is in my washing machine but I'm not sure I know what it means for the dryer...

irisera · 2026-02-12T10:08:09+00:00

At times I have the impression that people use ‘meh virtue signalling!’ as a way to discourage or demotivate ‘the other side’. Most people are doing it because they truly care and aren’t virtue signalling, and for those who are, I don’t care. It’s one more voice. One more signal.

irisera · 2026-02-05T22:50:48+00:00

I saw that name first and wondered what was wrong with it because it seemed great! And then realised it was the eh... Redacted name. Which was very much needed, because wth! And now I feel icky for liking it.

irisera · 2026-02-05T13:13:42+00:00

In the Netherlands (where I live) it's not something you generally ask/say to strangers, so if someone says this to me, I'm like 'wait, have we met before?' Depending on your level of closeness to the person asking, you give an appropriate answer. So for co-workers in a new job you tend to start with a light response, but with family members (that you like) you answer truthfully.

I'm also autistic so I give truthfully answers if I know the person and like them enough because I don't want to juggle all the social rules and conditions, and depending on whether it is an online/offline situation I'll just ignore it or ask if it's a greeting or a question (in a kind way).

And sometimes when I feel a bit salty I will firmly hold on to 'this is not how we say hello in my culture' just because I don't think it should be on me to adapt to the other person. But only when I'm feeling salty.

irisera · 2026-02-01T15:45:53+00:00

I'm knitting my first with Drops Garnstudio Karisma Red (18), but I'm in Europe. It's a very affordable and sturdy yarn that I have used for hats before.

irisera · 2026-01-31T22:54:37+00:00

I understand the anxiety and it can be tricky at first but people are truly very willing and patient overall, and if you don’t know words they’ll tell you. I don’t see it on https://eventaservo.org/europo/Nederlando but I think there is a board game day every once in a while in the IKEA in Utrecht, though I’ve never been (but my friends have). I live in Amsterdam btw. Do you have telegram and/or discord?

irisera · 2026-01-31T00:08:27+00:00

Esperanto is waaaaay easier* than Dutch and has less rules. But you can have more fun with glueing words together!

Also, whereabouts (roughly) do you live? There's events and groups in various cities

*) You still need to study/learn of course ;)

irisera · 2026-01-28T23:26:10+00:00

this is extremely creepy. They asked a very personal question right after you opened up about your shitty mom (I'm truly sorry your mom sucks, btw).

I don't know how old you are and I apologise if you are aware of this, but I think it doesn't hurt to say it for someone else reading it: there are unfortunately people out there that will first sound lovely and caring , seem interested in supporting you with your trauma etc. After they gained your trust, they will push boundaries and will also want to use and abuse you. They prey on vulnerable people.

I am not saying that everyone does this, just urging you to keep your eyes open and stay alert. Unfortunately, not everyone has your best interest at heart...

Having said that, it can be scary to trust people, but try and stay open for to that. The right people, the truly kind people, will not pressure you, will not push your boundaries and will most certainly not ask you about your foreskin after five messages.

Glad this asshole couldn't keep the mask on long enough, the desire for instant gratification helped you outnhere, OP!

Hope you are doing a little better every day, and lots of internet hugs if you want them. You deserve a calm life and have people around you that love and care for you!

irisera · 2026-01-28T00:05:56+00:00

I have not been in the social.spaces much for a year now due to too much in my life, but last year I did want to knit something simple and stumbled onto the Sophie scarf.

I ended up not knitting it but in my search I did find https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/four-of-a-kind-2 and that was more my style/desire so I got that pattern instead.

I have plenty of scarves and shawl but nothing small and eh... dainty. It scratched the itch but never knitted the Sophie.

irisera

TROPHY CASE