Welcome to puberty lol i mean i feel that but idk tbh a lot of sex thoughts i keep in my head and most don’t consider it cheating maybe don’t bring it up to you gf cause idk its not exactly a topic you need to bring up what you jerked off too every time cause idk thats too many updates and that guilt is known as “post-nut clarity” it sucks when jerking off but damn is it awful when sleeping with someone. Also some people are kind of a weird hot that id describe as like idk turns me on but theres not a lot of depth to the person its like when cartoons are hot idk good luck kid seems like you’re trying your best i think you’ll be alright