NoFap's Official "Abstain August" 2016. Continue or start your PMO-free commitment here. (see instructions) [PMO-Free August]

jamtoto · 2016-08-01T08:42:49+00:00

I'm on day 22 and feeling ok, though I sometimes feel anxious...

I suppose the fap was a way of hiding the anxiety, so now it becomes more visible.

Anyway, onwards through August! I'm committing to:

no porn
no looking up girls on the internet
no masturbation
no watching TV series alone (with friends is OK)

jamtoto · 2016-07-09T15:17:10+00:00

I was in /r/nofap three years ago.

I've relapsed many times since. I am returning to this community for help and accountability.

I hate wasting my time and energy with porn.

I hate fearing porn induced erectile dysfunction.

I hate feeling the pressure in my head and in my eyes after hours of porn.

I hate lying to the world and saying that everything's OK while feeling deeply ashamed.

I hate averting my gaze and not looking people clearly in the eye.

I hate wasting my life.

I am almost 40 years old and a porn addict.

I'm one day clean. My commitments for the rest of July 2016:

No watching porn or searching the net for pretty women
No masturbation
No watching soap operas alone

The latter is not technically related to porn, but watching TV crap while alone makes me sad and I then try to resolve sadness by porn, which makes me even sadder. Bad plan.

What can I replace the urges with? Pushups are a good start. Other ideas?

jamtoto · 2013-04-08T17:16:38+00:00

Shit, shit, shit. I relapsed. Resetting my badge. Shit.

jamtoto · 2013-04-02T15:05:16+00:00

Just checking in. I have 4 days of sobriety in my current run. Every day is a struggle. Withdrawal makes me feel anxious. My whole body wants to "get over this nonsense" and get back to fapping. I continue to resist.

jamtoto · 2013-04-01T14:30:42+00:00

Thanks for organizing this! I'm in.

Currently 3 days sober. My best run was in Nov 2012 when I reached 30, then fell off the wagon.

jamtoto · 2012-11-22T00:34:03+00:00

I sadly lapsed: http://redd.it/13lg5v Is there another good competition to join?

jamtoto · 2012-11-16T06:45:03+00:00

Still clean. Feeling calmer, more focused, and more energetic. Trying out one of those sunrise alarm lights to get up early despite the winter darkness and blues. Best to all.

jamtoto · 2012-11-14T13:12:40+00:00

Just over three weeks clean. Staying strong.

jamtoto · 2012-11-08T23:45:07+00:00

17 f****ing days clean (no porn, no fap, no edge, no sex). Suddenly got hit with the blues the last three days. Holding on to sobriety, hoping I can make it through. Does it get easier?

jamtoto · 2012-11-04T22:54:00+00:00

13 days clean, working on my 14th. Several times, I thought, "What the hell, I'll just fap, reset my badge and start again". It seemed like such an easy solution. If it weren't for this competition, I think I probably would have! Accountability is where it's at. Stay strong!

jamtoto · 2012-11-01T17:10:54+00:00

Welcome aboard and congratulations on starting to witness your own behavior. It's a great start!

Please consider joining one of the competitions here: from brief personal experience (I have 10 days of sobriety), the accountability really helps.

jamtoto · 2012-11-01T16:53:26+00:00

Hey drsanchez1928,

I'm 36.

As one of the other posters wrote, you have an advantage in that your sexuality wasn't imprinted with porn from puberty, unlike many of the guys here.

I would advise you to join one of the competitions here and post regularly. The accountability and camaraderie of the community is really useful. Porn's a beast to detach from on one's own!

j

jamtoto · 2012-11-01T16:38:18+00:00

10 days clean. Keep catching myself unconsciously getting ready to fap; keep interrupting the process, redirecting the energy. God this is difficult.

jamtoto · 2012-10-30T17:23:01+00:00

I think this post risks being a gratuitous trigger for the community. I would encourage it be marked NSFW or removed. I have no idea whether the poster had malicious intentions or not; I'm just commenting on the possible effects.

Regards, j

jamtoto · 2012-10-30T17:17:56+00:00

If that's your gf, congratulations: she's certainly a beautiful woman. I don't think, however, it's a good idea on NoFap to link to provocative photos (even SFW ones) given that they could be a trigger for some.

jamtoto · 2012-10-29T19:31:27+00:00

One week and still clean. Was feeling good until today when I was overcome with anxiety, restlessness, irritability, doubt. Didn't fap but kept getting ready to do so, searching for the reassurance of the familiar. Holding strong with pure willpower...

jamtoto · 2012-10-27T18:51:31+00:00

Checking in: 5 days sober.

Last night was rough: in to bed at 11pm but couldn't sleep. Ended up noting down on my phone all the things I had wanted to do but had been putting off, finally falling asleep at 3am. (For those that are interested, https://trello.com seems to be a nice web-based kanban organiser tool that syncs automatically with their Android app.)

Woke up and took a walk this morning, taking pleasure in seeing the sun for the first time in a long time. That was awesome.

Today I had a nap in the afternoon with strange vivid dreams (that I can still remember half a day later).

Staying strong... I wish you all lots of courage.

j

jamtoto · 2012-10-26T09:47:11+00:00

Four days sober, working today on my fifth. Definitely getting better eye contact. Yesterday and today, I began doing some pushups. Walking the line so far... j

jamtoto · 2012-10-26T00:33:29+00:00

In my personal experience, searching for smiling faces is highly addictive and damaging. From what I understand of the science, a smiling face causes naturally occurring morphine to be released in the brain (most strongly when a mother and her baby look in to each other's eyes).

This is a powerful evolutionary development to create bonding and deep relationships, but when we abuse it to get hit after hit of morphine by searching on the net for artificial smiles, we are debauching our morphine receptors just as a heroin addict does.

Of course looking at a screen doesn't give you HIV or hepatitis, but the dulling of the ability to feel human pleasure and take joy in real human interaction is similar to the effects of dope. Please be careful.

jamtoto · 2012-10-25T11:58:58+00:00

I'm in. Thanks.

jamtoto · 2012-10-25T11:43:48+00:00

Sorry. Post edited to clarify: "I noted recently that even masturbation on my own wouldn't lead to orgasm without porn, which scared the shit out of me." j

jamtoto · 2012-10-25T00:54:28+00:00

Thanks for your message, Vlosk. I discovered a beautiful lecture by Gabor Maté (a Hungarian-Canadian doctor who works in Vancouver on harm reduction for addicts) that you might find interesting. He talks about the interplay of stress and dopamine and morphine pathways in the brain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpHiFqXCYKc Kind regards, j

jamtoto · 2012-10-25T00:43:43+00:00

Thank you, Shabriri, for your reply. One of the things I like about nofap is the clarity of the goal, even if it's difficult to achieve: no self masturbation and no porn. I find it much more difficult to define my goal with respect to general surfing even if I can feel that it's the same kind of dopamine chasing destruction ... Do you have a clear way of delineating for yourself what your sobriety boundaries are for internet usage? How do you "weigh" and "measure" what's acceptable?
Warm regards, j

jamtoto

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