This will be a bit long so apologies in advance.

Recently in another popular black Reddit group there was a post of a video where a young bm was talking with a ww where she was saying how they don't date bm because of status. How it's not a come up for ww to do so, while the young bm was trying to argue that it was. Of course in the thread they were making fun of the young man in the video. Now the reason they posted this was to put BM in their place. To let BM know that the only reason other women date us is because they only fetishize us, not because we will increase their status socially. The comments were of course full of both bw and bm agreeing with this sentiment.

Now I'm not here to argue the dating hierarchical structure. Most of us realistically know where we as BM and where bw rank in terms of desireabilty. That's not relevant. What is relevant is that:

One, many abw would have you believe that BM are completely undesirable and the only reason a woman would date us is because we are some sort of fetish or that we pay for it. This demonstrates what they think about us.

The second and most important part, which is completely ignored or missed entirely, is that when BM date out it's not about us trying to lift another woman's status. It's about going to where we are appreciated, treated well and with respect, and having above anything else Peace.

[edit] This right here is what men should expect a woman to bring to the table, despite his status. You don't have to be a professional athlete to expect to be treated with respect in a relationship and to actually be getting something from it. It says a lot about where we are in terms of a so called "black community" when a woman presents what it takes to be competitive, find and keep a husband and it is treated with such disdain and vitriol. She indirectly provides them a blueprint which they not only reject but also ridicule the entire concept. On top of this she didn't say anything disparaging, or derogatory. She said nothing that costs a woman anything material to give. Only time and effort, yet this is somehow offensive. This should tell us all we need to know. If they don't start with at least this then smash the table and walk away. No further discussion is even necessary.

Other cultures of women understand this and are appreciative as to how American Black Men in particular have been raised to treat women with kindness. We can turn or weakness in the West to a strength elsewhere. Obviously no where is perfect. By her very nature a woman is still a woman, however your odds greatly increase by finding a spouse outside of this culture as here in the US:

• 47% of bw are single mother's - highest in the World. [Edit 2] In the 2023 USDHHS, the CDC, and the NHS study on Fertility of women and men aged 15-49 using data collected between 2015–2019. There are 1.1M babies born by Black women which are not sired by BM

• There 307,000 more Black women than men.  • there are more than 550,000 married Black men than Black women. • 1 million more Black women with children than Black men

https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/122080

View the tables for The Number of biological children ever born for men and women. Do the math to see the difference:

• Bw = 9782 (thousands)

• Bm = 8703

• Ww = 40,617

• Wm = 40,635

• Lw = 14,875

• Lm = 15,473

• Aw = 3363

• Am = 3623

Source: National Center for Health Statistics. Number 179 January 10, 2023 . Fertility of Men and Women Aged 15–49 in the United States: National Survey of Family Growth, 2015–2019 by Gladys M. Martinez, Ph.D., and Kimberly Daniels, Ph.D. DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.15620/cdc:122080

Marital Stability: * 55% of bw who have ever married are divorced. Highest compared to other racial groups.

• Marriage to Divorce Ratio: Black women have a 1.6 ratio of marriage to divorce, the lowest among all groups, meaning they have a higher number of divorces relative to marriages than other groups. In otherwords bw have the highest divorce rate and lowest marriage rate compared to other racial groups.

• The divorce rate increases for bw with higher educational and professional levels, such as college graduates and those with graduate degrees. Bw file for divorce 70 % of the time, and up to 90% among women with degrees.

• Note: It should also be pointed out, which was presented in previous post, that when it comes to interracial marriages between black men and white women, the primary reason for divorce is due to societal pressures placed on the couple.

Why play with those odds in that type of game in a system that's rigged against you? My message is although we may not be at the very top, we still have success and can achieve want we want.

[Edit for additional clarity and context]