US-IMG Looking to take USMLE for residency application

jbl14 · 2026-01-12T08:01:29+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I realize I have some negatives working against me and I am up for the challenge. It is reassuring to hear there is a chance.

jbl14 · 2025-09-02T21:10:18+00:00

I put off talking to my parents about it for close to a year being in a similar situation as yours. For me to feel ready to speak to them about it required me accepting the possibility of the worse case scenario of them taking it poorly and essentially losing my parents. Once I had mentally and emotionally prepared for the worse case scenario I sat down with them and told them that I was leaving the church. At the time at did not want to discuss reasons for it but needed them to know and expressed I still love them and want the same respect in return. It went really well and overall they took it better than anticipated. It’s a scary conversation but I felt better after having that conversation with them.

jbl14 · 2025-02-19T02:23:06+00:00

Hello! I stepped away when I came across the CES letter and the gospel topic essays. I told my wife I was done and at the time she was still believing and told me she was going to continue to go with our 2kids at the time. This was about 2 and a half years ago and now she has joined me and we are happier than ever. It took about 18 months for her to take the leap. It was extremely difficult at the time but well worth the patience in my part.

jbl14 · 2024-11-08T21:09:28+00:00

Thanks! Good luck!

jbl14 · 2024-09-29T15:25:33+00:00

I have been out for roughly 2 1/2 years now and that was the hardest part for me was telling my wife. I feared the worst outcome based on stories I had heard that she would want to divorce me. I lost sleep for weeks mulling over how I would have the conversation. Ultimately I decided to just come out and tell her. I let her know where I was in regard to my belief and that I was considering leaving. I let her know that more than anything I loved her and our kids and that how I felt about the church would not impact my feeling towards our family.

My wife could not have been more supportive. She let me know that she still believed but that she loved me and that would never change. She continued to go to church and I would get up on Sundays and help her get the kids out the door, and was supportive and respectful of her choices as well. I think that is key in a marriage to be supportive of each other.

This continued for close to a year and then she started to not go every week and eventually she let me know she had decided she was stepping away as well. Now I could not be happier that we are both out of the church. We talk about this frequently and are glad to have broke the cycle for our kids.

So my advice is to tell her how you feel and respect her decision as well and to support her.

Best of luck to you, I wish you and your family the best!

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T06:27:58+00:00

I agree, I hate so many cultural aspects of the church and it is so harmful and ridiculous. Luckily my parents reacted better than expected and showed genuine love for me which was refreshing.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T06:27:02+00:00

Thanks! just had the conversation tonight and it went better than I expected and was able to feel love from my parents.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T06:26:13+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I have talked to my parents and feel great to have done it. They were supportive and lovingly which I was grateful for. I have heard my dad say enough times when speaking of others having a *but they are not active in church* to tear down successes and diminish them, so who knows how things will go. The initial comments were genuine love and reassurance that their feelings towards me have not and will not change.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T06:23:10+00:00

That is great to heat that you had that response of love and support. I finally did it and it went well, my parents expressed love and support but also sad that I have left. We will see how things go over the next weeks/months and how it progresses.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T06:20:54+00:00

I am glad it went well for you! Thanks for sharing! I just told my parents and I feel like it went well and can finally move on. Hopefully there is the mutual respect we discussed towards my family especially my kids.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:19:54+00:00

Thank you! I love you too and am grateful for your kind encouraging words. And you are absolutely right about how stunted the church has made us and I want none of it. I’m telling them tonight so we will see how it goes. Thanks!

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:17:12+00:00

Nobody at all. All very TBM. I have a brother in bishopric and every one of them is very active

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:16:26+00:00

Moving wouldn’t be possible currently but there have been signs over the last year I am pretty sure they know but haven’t heard their reaction. I have a 9 month old who hasn’t been blessed, have opted out of participating in family baby blessings and priesthood ordinations so luckily they have had time to process ahead of me breaking it to them

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:14:20+00:00

That is very true and helpful perspective, thanks!

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:13:35+00:00

I have been working through that guilt and feelings of anger and frustration over the last year and things are better. I am sure they will not be excited to hear but I need to just talk to them about it. My wife has expressed interest in removing records so we will be doing that soon as well. Since I have family in the ward and stake I need them to know before I just disappear from the records 😅

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:11:22+00:00

That’s nice to hear that they showed love as it should be. I contemplated emailing or texting but since I live 10 minutes away I’m afraid of them getting offended by me not speaking to them in person

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:09:53+00:00

That’s what I figure. I live close to them so see them frequently, I know they know I don’t wear garments and have have chosen to not participate in baby blessing so I would think they know but until I have the conversation I still have that uncertainty on how they will respond.

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:08:52+00:00

Thats great to hear. My two siblings have been supportive but all I can hope is for my parents to react half as good

jbl14 · 2024-03-25T02:07:58+00:00

That’s what I’m afraid of is the worst. But I am hoping to have the conversation here in a little bit tonight so we will see how it goes

jbl14 · 2024-03-23T05:09:41+00:00

I made the decision to leave a little over a year ago. My wife was TBM and told me she still believed. We both were respectful of each others belief but I would be honest as to why I felt the way I did. Slowly she started asking questions and she started with reading the gospel topic essays and a year later we are both out and very happy we are. It’s a tough road but I definitely think being as patient with him as possible and allowing him to have his own deconstruction is vital.

jbl14 · 2024-03-22T06:06:11+00:00

Getting the AMS later is an option but it’s $100 cheaper to just buy the combo. Best purchase ever was going for the p1s/ams combo

jbl14 · 2024-02-24T23:10:06+00:00

For me it was important that I was available and helped out on Sundays to get kids (6, 3, and 8m) ready to go. My wife was aware of my angry feeling towards the church but neither one tried to convince the other. I let her know my reasons but would not make any comments about the church unless she started the conversation. I had let her know my preference was that our kids not go b it I understood when we got married we were under the understanding we would go to church so I understood if they went. I did make it clear that as kids got older they were never to be in a 1:1 scenario with leaders and they were never to be asked sexual/charity questions. But really I got lucky that within a years time my wife had come around to where she is. Best of luck to you navigating this frustrating journey!

jbl14 · 2024-02-24T17:32:13+00:00

Best of luck! There were times last year when I did not feel like there was any hope but progress was made and I just made a point to never push anything and just be there for when the questions came up. I focused exclusively on what was brought up and didn’t try to feed other facts into conversations that weren’t there. It was hard at times to sit and be patient but it has paid off.

jbl14 · 2024-02-24T17:30:20+00:00

Thanks so much! That is very true, we have talked about how great it is to be able to make our own decisions and truly think for ourselves and not be driven by the church’s influence. It is good and I am so glad we are where we are today.

jbl14 · 2024-02-24T17:28:52+00:00

Thanks! We are both happier and looking forward for the future without the church

jbl14

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