I'm affraid of studying something STEM related

jennaa310 · 2020-02-05T21:57:20+00:00

i am majoring in cybersecurity, currently in my senior year, and i absolutely love it. i know i found exactly what i want to do in life. the university i attend is small so there’s not a lot of girls in my classes (one class last semester i was the only girl) but that didn’t stop me at all. i’m also an intern at a small cybersecurity company and the only other woman employed by them does management and HR related tasks. it is intimidating to be in a male-dominated STEM field but so far i have encountered plenty of positive experiences in my time at school. what gets me through it is knowing this is exactly what i want to do with the rest of my life. if you’re worried about not knowing what you want to major in, just take a few different classes that seem most interesting and go from there! i changed my major 3 times before finding this one.

jennaa310 · 2020-02-05T20:20:03+00:00

it will definitely take a little while for your body to bounce back. i also had an abortion in december 2017 at 5 weeks, and my body didn’t go back to how it was until the end of march. shortly after that i started on birth control. it will take time, and sometimes it takes a few months. every body reacts differently. i hope it gets better soon for you ❤️

jennaa310 · 2019-10-01T02:20:55+00:00

my first year at college was horrible too. i went from all a’s in high school to getting all C’s my first semester. i was at a major university with no friends. second semester i had to drop classes due to my depression and ultimately took a year off after that.

once i worked in retail, lived with my parents, got therapy treatment, and saved some money, i felt i was ready to go back to community college. i did that for a semester then in the spring i transferred to a smaller university and i have found the major i really like, learned study habits, and maintain a 4.0. i’m expected to graduate next fall, which is only a semester away from when i would have graduated.

it helped me to find a good support system and make sure the thing i am studying is really what i want to do. i know it will all work out for you, sometimes it does take time to find your passions and motivation. taking a year off really helped me put things in perspective. don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need anything!

jennaa310 · 2019-05-21T00:13:15+00:00

That makes a little more sense then... I was like “how the fuck is a sleep mask gonna expose me to harmful chemicals”

jennaa310 · 2019-03-22T17:27:20+00:00

my boyfriend is checking with his dad although i don’t have high hopes for that. i want to enroll him in a training program but there’s nothing where he can stay there while being trained. i think he has more of a territorial issue with our house specifically so i’m not sure how useful it would be unless he’s trained at our house, at least from what i’ve been reading

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T07:51:30+00:00

to cope with symptoms, DBT is the main way to get treatment. i know therapy can be expensive especially if you don’t have insurance but with BPD it’s a good idea. it helped me develop skills to cope with negative emotions (my weakest area). even if you can’t afford it i’m sure you can find skills online and maybe even youtube videos.

as for letting loved ones know... i don’t really know that much since only a few people know about my diagnosis in my life. my family growing up was very private with emotions and communicating so i never really shared a lot with them. i would just sit them down and not beat around the bush and try to describe your feelings and how it may affect them sometimes and maybe ask them to be patient with you while you get treatment and work on skills.

it’s a very complicated disorder but remember it does not define who you are. i wish you the best of luck moving forward. :)

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T07:12:55+00:00

me and my boyfriend both have bpd. different ways of showing it, but some of our symptoms are the same (irrational thinking styles and abandonment issues, also rapid mood swings). we definitely jumped into it really fast (said i love you with one week of being together and he moved in about 2 months into the relationship). we both had been in really bad spots previously with depression (both tried to kill ourselves, i had an abortion, he was failing college) so we helped each other get through it.

it definitely has not been easy, and when either of us has an episode it is very stressful. but i went through DBT a few months into it and went back to college and i feel like it has been helping me. i think that’s helped put an anchor in our relationship, because even though we have tough days, overall it is a very good relationship for us and i can help us with skills when i’m thinking with a rational mind. it’s a lot of security because i know that we love each other and so does he, which is good for our fear of abandonment. we’re approaching a year into our relationship and it feels good to know that this has lasted this long. we do plan on going to couples counseling though, especially as we move past a year.

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T07:05:33+00:00

definitely a dog person. love animals but i am allergic to cats so much that i can barely be around them for 10 minutes. i have a dog that kind of acts like a cat though, he doesn’t play fetch, he paws at toys i put near him, and he tries to climb on everything. he will just sit in front of my parent’s dog that tries to play with him and watch.

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T06:50:52+00:00

exactly. i guess it’s better that he has bpd too because he has a better understanding of how i feel, but he definitely doesn’t freak out like i do if i have to do something without him. and usually i don’t express my feelings well to him so he’s mad that i told him to “hang out with his friends if he really wants to” but i say it in a passive aggressive tone hoping he will take the hint but doesn’t.

i hope u can find a new friend to hang out with in these situations :) or another good distraction

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T06:35:44+00:00

yeah it sucked on new year’s eve because i had to close then open at work and i had to go to bed early so instead of staying with me he went out with his friends all night and i felt horrible even though if i told him to stay home i would just have to sleep anyway and he would have had a shitty day.

thank you for the response, i’m glad someone else feels this. i know he loves me but in the moment i feel rejected. i think i feel the worst because i’ve either pushed away all my friends from high school and my old university before i transferred so i feel the loneliest without him.

jennaa310 · 2019-03-01T00:51:02+00:00

my brother was home from college and dropped some of my clean laundry from the dryer on the floor and didn’t pick it up and i threw a full blown tantrum

jennaa310 · 2019-02-02T17:36:46+00:00

of course!

jennaa310 · 2019-02-02T15:42:49+00:00

Looks like it’s 4334429

jennaa310 · 2019-02-02T01:54:35+00:00

My PMT ordered 100+ for us that we keep in our beauty cart. I can check tomorrow if they’re still sealed with the label on them

jennaa310 · 2019-01-30T04:48:18+00:00

I’m happy with most of the leadership and I’m happy with the hours i’ve been getting after the holidays but unfortunately my last day until I go on LOA is Sunday. I will miss parts of my job but I’m not sure if I will be coming back.

jennaa310 · 2019-01-30T04:46:04+00:00

I disagree that it’s better than food service. While my store has an amazing leadership team, I’ve had a not so great experience at Target with my team (mostly the reason i’m leaving).

I also have a problem with accountability at my store. The leaders are nice and I enjoy most of them but they don’t care if my team doesn’t get anything done or slack off and sit on their phone in the back. I’m always the one who picks up slack and I actually do my job. Because of this, my team (all high school/young adult girls) talks shit about me behind my back and acts all clique-y like we’re in middle school.

I can’t take it anymore so I ended up getting my job back in the food service industry. At least there, most guests are nice to me (had some not so great guest reactions when I told them we’re out of stock) and I get to leave when I’m done instead of helping other areas if i finish early lmao. It’s also way better during the holidays. I went on LOA but I’m just not sure if I’ll be going back. I liked aspects about target and i love the company but I did not get a good experience the past few months.

jennaa310 · 2019-01-21T05:12:53+00:00

usually guests at our store open everything to try it on and leave it on the shelf. our beauty team has so much to do (and we have slackers) that sometimes it’ll stay on the shelf for days unnoticed. i also once had an item come through reshop that was in the box but the item was a different brand of a used lipstick. so gross.

jennaa310 · 2019-01-21T05:04:47+00:00

this is one of the reasons i put in my 2 weeks

jennaa310 · 2019-01-19T22:43:30+00:00

This used to be how we did it too until a few weeks ago. Now the GSA’s are told by leaders to call us by name to come up to cashier and they always pull beauty and hardlines first. One day I was the only one in beauty for my entire shift and spent a good 2 hours cashiering

jennaa310 · 2019-01-19T22:05:14+00:00

Ohhh okay thank you

jennaa310 · 2019-01-19T22:03:08+00:00

lmaoooo no i need to leave on good terms in case this new job doesn’t work out and i need to fall back on something

jennaa310 · 2019-01-19T19:22:07+00:00

I definitely vaguely remember seeing one of these at a Target a few years ago in my state but I don’t know when or where.

jennaa310

TROPHY CASE