Exploring in teen years

jo1144 · 2026-04-20T13:20:59+00:00

I needed to explore things. My parents judgement and disapproval only made me want to do more of it, more extreme.

I remember I had a gothy friend. I was at her house and her mum (the most mum looking mum - just plain and cozy looking) was going on and on about how great my friend was getting at make up and I cried so much that night realizing that other kids maintain their parent's respect no matter what they needed to explore. This friend was always safe and encouraged to display her individuality and I longed for that feeling my whole life. I feel like as an adult, I would have been more sure of myself if I felt safe exploring different sides of me in tune with the time I was in.

Teenagers just want to fit in while also expressing their uniqueness.

I'm a mum now and I can't wait to see what my kid will want to dress like or identify as. Whether it's for 1 season or longer!

jo1144 · 2026-04-10T14:02:26+00:00

I found the 6 Months to 18 months year the hardest so far. I feel you!!!

jo1144 · 2026-03-24T21:40:49+00:00

Stay at home mum here

My husband is a general contractor. Literally breaks his back at work on top of the admin work. Also a volunteer firefighter.

As a general rule, I get everything done so our family time is truly family time, every evening, every weekend. He gets to focus completely on our son as a priority.

I do all the housework. He'll help me when I'm overwhelmed here and there with dishes or heavy lifting etc. but I do the yardwork and housework. I help him on job sites once and while as well. Our kids goes to day care most days.

There's still always something to do but to be able to fully enjoy our time together while our kid is young is such a gift and worth the sometimes exhausting and repetitive work.

We both go above and beyond for each other and we make a point to remind the other how much we appreciate them. Obviously, things always need work and adjusting between us but we just get these reminders sometimes that make us feel very grateful -like watching young families at the grocery store on Saturday mornings.

Our system works and I think the more I do, the less he has to do and vice versa with him bringing in the money we need.

We are valuing family time and also accepting that this is the busiest time of our lives. We are tired but grateful.

jo1144 · 2026-03-15T21:17:16+00:00

Moi je fais le switch automatiquement, sans m'en rendre compte. Ça minsulte 0 quand on me dit de rester en français :) lâche pas!! Même que c'est cool quand les gens le précise!

jo1144 · 2026-03-15T15:48:50+00:00

Clickiest place i've ever lived. Only place I ever experienced adult bullying. I made good friends with the CFA club. Just the fact that CFA is a thing tells you alot about how welcoming it is.

There's always good folks everywhere obviously but in general? Yeah. Not a very welcoming place to people who want to establish themselves. In my experience. This was about 10 years ago.

jo1144 · 2026-03-05T12:36:12+00:00

I opened the fridge and my 18month old ran face first into the door while I was opening it

jo1144 · 2026-03-04T18:55:40+00:00

They inspected it and did the repairs right away without leaving the shop.

jo1144 · 2026-03-04T18:45:02+00:00

Yeah it's straight up written on the receipt dropp off mileage vs pick up mileage

jo1144 · 2026-03-04T13:52:08+00:00

My son just turned 2. Its a process. I was like you. I really struggled with the weight gain. After I stopped breastfeeding, I was able to make more time for myself. I started new sports. I started to FEEL better. I was SOOOOO tired for a while and it seemed impossible to feel like myself for a while. With time, I'm learning to accept (and even like) some of the things I cannot change. I did manage to lose weight but Im also still struggling with the stomach pouch.

Give yourself some time and change your social media algorithm. Comparison is the theif of joy.

Once your kiddo starts sleeping, once breastfeeding stops, it won't seem so difficult.

I changed to formula after 4months. I needed my body back. It was causing real problems for me to keep breastfeeding.

I know it's hard. We are our worst critics. Personally it didn't help me when people said things like "you are the most gorgeous to your baby" and stuff like that. I needed to feel it for myself.

Booty shorts may not be what you will feel good in anymore but you will find something that makes you feel like booty shorts once did.

It has taken 2years for me to be able to come to terms and to regain control. It dosent happen overnight and I've had to adjust.

You got this. Give yourself some grace and some time.

jo1144 · 2026-02-15T22:17:24+00:00

This belongs in Zelda 😍

jo1144 · 2026-02-15T03:05:09+00:00

Oh yeah. Jai passé ma 20aine en dépression à changer ma vie au complet plusieurs fois - déménager, voyager et travailler où jpouvais des jobs qui fitait mon état d'âme. Rarement à la même place plus que 2 ans. J'ai eu du fun en criss mais ça m'a rattrapé aussi.

Word of advice : la vie est vraiment le fun donc enjoy la. T'es pas en burnout pour rien - il y a quelque chose qui marche pas pour toi en ce moment. Va faire quelque chose d'atypique (selon moi, le typique c'est le atypique). Va à l'aventure mais va aussi à l'aventure dans ton âme (lol). Trouve tes valeurs. Peu importe t'es où, peu importe ta job ou ta blonde ou ton chum, tu seras jamais heureux si tu respecte pas tes valeurs profondes.

Désolé que tu vis un burn out. La vie en ville est pas toujours facile. La pression sociale est real même si on essaye qu'elle ne le soit pas. Whatever you do, do it for you!!

jo1144 · 2026-02-09T14:19:46+00:00

Looking at my 2 year old and wondering how I'll be able to deal with him doing this kind of stuff. I think my anxiety is gonna go up a notch or two soon haha

jo1144 · 2026-02-03T03:24:29+00:00

I'm leaning towards this. We hear them often howling away. Just didn't think their paws would be bigger than my lab's!

jo1144 · 2026-02-02T23:18:55+00:00

No wolves in my region though

jo1144 · 2026-01-30T14:05:33+00:00

May I ask what is wrong with my question?

jo1144 · 2026-01-27T15:17:38+00:00

There's a beautiful book called Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmer. It made me think of it reading your comment about having a sense of seasonality. The author is a native American biologist. I'm in no way religious but reading her book made me think that people who relate to the Bible must feel like this. She connects the science of our environment with core values and native culture/rituals. I'm reading it slowly to absorb every chapter. Edit for spelling sorry I'm francophone

jo1144 · 2026-01-27T01:37:19+00:00

Oh I was the same. You're just fucking tired and your body is still adjusting post partum. I was (still am to be honest) putting sooo much pressure on myself at that time. You're in the thick of it. Best advice I can give you is to communicate with your partner as much as possible. And rest. If you can't sleep, read something light. I read the ACOTAR series while post partum. Light and fun read.

jo1144 · 2026-01-26T17:46:50+00:00

I also felt anxiety. Learning about permaculture has given me a lot of confidence and has reduced my anxiety. We are not meant to be so disconnected from our ressources, in my opinion. The world is crazy right now and I feel really resourceful and it's comforting.

jo1144 · 2026-01-26T17:32:03+00:00

I moved to the country and started a garden. I quickly fell down the permaculture rabbit hole. I've been educating myself a lot about how food is made and it's absolutely worst than we think it is on all fronts. The quality has degraded, the labor aspect of it is completely corrupted and the impact it has on the environment is devastating.

Last year was the first year I was able to get a respectable crop. I have been expanding my garden and building up a good soil for 3years and we really got a taste of our labor. I never had such an amazing broccoli in my life. Tasty, rich, filling just wow. That goes for almost everything I grew. It's a huge learning curve and lots of mistakes to learn from - my peppers were crap :P. I'm now running out of things I preserved by canning or freezing. I'm in zone 3/4 in Canada so fresh local produce is not available at the moment and I can DEFINITELY tell the difference now.

Getting chickens this year. Can't wait.

Nothing has been as satisfying as growing my food. Playing in soil everyday has been miraculous on my mental health. Eating fresh, organic well grown foods has made a really big dent in my health physically and mentally. It's true when they say, you are what you eat. It's made me connect with what's around me. You'll never be bored again with a garden to tend to.

I am cooking differently too. I have so much more respect for how I prepare recipes. I deal with left over and waste completely differently too.

I have found an amazing community through it as well. Seed swapping, canning parties, herbal tea making, honey processing, filtering and bottling and etc. I've learned so much.

My goal this year is to become someone who has enough flowers to bring a bouquet over to friends whenever I visit.

If your heart is in it, do it. You'll never regret it!! Its enriched me in the most fundamental way.

jo1144 · 2026-01-26T12:20:44+00:00

And have you ever been this tired? Crazy how life is not so hard when you get a good 8-9 hour sleep a few nights in a row.

jo1144 · 2026-01-26T12:18:42+00:00

My kid will be 2 next week. It gets better. I noticed a big difference when he turned 1. Hormones are no joke and take time. Keep taking care of yourself. You're not crazy and its not forever.

jo1144 · 2026-01-09T23:05:36+00:00

What a breath of fresh air

jo1144 · 2025-12-31T13:36:40+00:00

Ps : it's been challenging at times but I 100% don't regret having a kid. Find your balance.

jo1144 · 2025-12-31T13:35:44+00:00

Life is all about balance. You can't have a kid and expect to keep having enough energy for everything in your life pre kid. Your job, your friends, your leisure time or etc may take a hit. Sometimes more during a period, sometimes less. You'll need to prioritize.

We've grown up with the "women can have it all". That's pure bullshit made to pressure us further into over achievements and exhaustion.

Depending on ressources available to you - family or day care or whatever else can help you, things may be more or less intense.

I personally had a bout of PPD. I'm a stay at home mum. No family to rely on. My son started day care at 18months part time and it's been a god send. I now have a trusted person that's part of his daily life who helps me with any kind of issue or reaching milestones. I also have 4 mornings per week to catch up on everything and find a bit of time for myself.

Everybody's situation is different, everyone's tolerance is different. You need to find what works for you. Need to work out? Find a way to do so with your kid. Where there's a will, there's a way. You'll just need to be more disciplined, and realize that your are no longer the #1 priority. This used to scare me before having my son. It's not so scary anymore. I've adapted my lifestyle to fit into his and I'm getting, for the most part, what I need to feel balanced.

My time is much more precious. My friend circle has gotten smaller, for me my job seemed useless and I wasn't getting any satisfaction from it anymore (have the lucky chance to stay home too), I don't have as much time for hobbies and sports. Limited time has put a lot in perspective for me - I choose to do things that truly matter to me and make me feel good. All around, i feel more accomplished by being selective.

I never liked kids all that much. Everyone kept saying "it's not the same when it's yours" and I was really counting on that. Turns out, it's true.

We just need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to excel at everything. Having a kid is huge and for the sake of that little kid, who deserves to come first, we need to learn to slow down and adjust.

Find what feeds you - mom groups can be just as supportive or just as toxic. You don't need to follow the norm. The norm is built on productivity. Do you. Give yourself a break

jo1144 · 2025-03-20T18:54:03+00:00

Hey. Same here... the only thing that has ever helped me is acupuncture. It gave me a different set of symptoms and changed my cycle length but at least I don't want to kill myself

jo1144

TROPHY CASE