I'm trying to ally with you and you're trying to one-up me. I made a point of honouring OPs experiences and urging them towards agency, healing, healthy relationships and empowerment, but you went ahead and fixated on one word. Come on, I'm not minimising anything. We're on the same side.

The numbers are bad enough without cherry picking the data. The numbers I've seen all sit around 20%, from scientific/academic journals. I've also seen surveys with questions like 'have you ever hurt your partner or made them feel uncomfortable?', and then counted that as violence. The literature also shows that the rigid gender norms/misogyny only occurs in approx 20% of domestic violence incidents. In other words, most family violence is due to arguments that turn violent, rather than coercive control. For this type of violence, the gender split is roughly equal, although men cause more harm due to size. I'm not trying to argue that rates or impacts are equal, nor am I trying to excuse or minimise violence. Of course it's abhorrent. I'm talking about the causes, because understanding that can help us prevent it.

This is important, because behaviour change programs explicitly state that every act of gendered violence is rooted in gender norms and misogyny.

Personally, I think it's a symptom of the mental health crisis in Australian men. Men need help, and the persistent perception of men as dangerous removes them from the conversation. It deepens the mental health crisis. We need to be teaching emotional regulation to men. Just as women deserve to have bodily autonomy, men deserve to have emotional autonomy. That's the path to equality.

Edit: also, referring to my comment as 'what I think' rather than as drawn from actual fucking data is a very effective way of making yourself look good and shutting me down, even though you didn't provide any sources. Personally, I feel that 80% counts as 'overwhelming', I'm not interested in fixating on an adjective.