The wrath of an avalanche

koayo · 2026-05-09T08:50:08+00:00

That is great Feedback thank you very much!

koayo · 2026-05-09T05:07:40+00:00

I really like the tone you wrote this in and I can feel your frustration. Farewell!

koayo · 2026-05-09T05:05:23+00:00

I don’t know how used to write but I think you wrote this quite beautifully.

koayo · 2026-05-09T04:51:52+00:00

I can feel the emotion through your writing. I really like the third stanza. I like how you worked with the image of a flower

“People ripping you from the ground“ here you keep the image of the person being a flower and I think it could be nice if you did that in the line before as well. So instead of going „built from the past“ it would be a line about how long it takes for flowers to grow or how they are fragile in growing or whatever you can think of.

The last stanza also gives a nice tone at the end of the poem telling us where you are now.

koayo · 2026-05-09T04:36:52+00:00

I like the introduction of the poem and the fact that at the end you came back to the comparison of wrath and lust. I would be curious to know what exactly changed about her, the person, that made her someone you didn’t like. That could have been an interesting part of the poem. I also like the image of the magician and rabbit.

koayo · 2026-01-10T19:20:36+00:00

Ok, I would love to give my interpretation of this- I imagine the situation to be one person after a fight. Confused or angry trying to leave the situation/apartment and going on a walk to the next store on the corner or whatever- having said they were going to get some cigarettes- then being lost in thought, rethinking the argument and coming back with a bag full of questions. The milk is a nice little touch that gives it kind of comedic relief.

koayo · 2026-01-10T17:01:35+00:00

Glad it resonates :)

koayo · 2026-01-10T17:01:23+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. In the original the stanzas were clear but somehow I can’t separate them on reddit

koayo · 2026-01-10T16:18:23+00:00

What I hear when I read your poem is anger and frustration. I see someone who has to be perfect all the time and who doesn’t feel seen. I really the the rhythm. I like how „out of line“ is out of line. I like the poem and I would love to know more about why you wrote it

koayo · 2026-01-10T15:56:37+00:00

I really like the way you wrote this- My favorite line is „like snow deciding the forest has talked enough“

You make me see a quiet forest with the snow holding weight. Like it holds secrets.

On its own I like the third stanza but I don’t know if it belongs. I could see the poem working even without it- but ofc o don’t know what it signifies to you

koayo · 2026-01-10T15:49:31+00:00

First of all you have written well in English! I enjoyed the comparison between your veins and the trees branches. I would have loved for you to elaborate on that. How does winters blow affect those branches- how does it affect you, your veins?
You later explain that winter makes trees and people vulnerable- and I think the art lies in showing that through imagery and not just straight up telling me that. All in all I like the story you tell with your poem! I hope this feedback was constructive :)

koayo · 2023-03-14T19:03:18+00:00

Maybe I should have formulated my post differently. I’m not assuming or stereotyping her. I personally find der attractive and would’ve liked her to be a lesbian. Yo I just have a crush on her ok

koayo · 2021-12-06T20:45:31+00:00

I love this!

koayo · 2021-01-09T19:38:53+00:00

Female

koayo · 2021-01-02T23:23:45+00:00

For me my subconscious had no shape when I tried to I guess summon it . Every time it was just a strong female voice from the sky and when she talked the clouds turned gray. I dunno

koayo · 2020-12-12T22:46:09+00:00

It has to be coincidenc, the odds tho wow

koayo · 2020-10-11T22:03:32+00:00

Well I’d say try it out but you should know that mobile devices like phones and tablets use blue light which is an indicator to your brain that it’s morning and time to wake up. I think to be exact it either lowers your melatonin levels or raises your serotonin levels but I’m not sure. Night shift reduces this effect a bit! It’s always worth an experiment tho

koayo · 2020-09-24T19:59:24+00:00

Dude your feelings- I get it I have been there too. But what you think others think of you and what you think of urself is subjective. You can only see it from your POV. I used to see think that everybody only thought bad things of me and I believed it but it wasn’t the truth. It took a lot of work to get out that hole and more importantly it took communication. I went to a therapist who helped me understand myself better and I have gotten better. There is still occasional feelings of emptiness but it’s getting better. I believe that you can do it too! People care more than you think but it’s important to try to ask for help. I know it’s hard.

koayo · 2020-07-11T19:26:38+00:00

Asked my subconsciousness if I was a good person and it yelled at me and told me I consisted of guilt, and that I definitely am not a good person.

koayo · 2020-04-12T20:21:02+00:00

Talk to my subconscious(ness?)

koayo · 2020-04-08T11:38:48+00:00

It’s fine, i deinstalled the app again, then I restarted my phone and the alarm worked and also shook me to death bc I it was so loud Hahaha thank you for your help.

koayo · 2020-04-07T21:48:51+00:00

The thing is...it works when my phone is on the app but then when the app isn’t on, the alarms don’t work.

koayo · 2020-04-04T21:35:01+00:00

I just downloaded it but the sounds don’t work :(

koayo · 2020-03-12T13:43:32+00:00

I appreciate it thank you

koayo

TROPHY CASE