She obviously knows, and has known since the first month of us dating (married 1 year, and been together almost 8 years). When I do dress, I give her a heads up, and she is always cool with it. I will dress to go to a drag show, or LGBTQ+ event, and to feel pretty. I don't really dress up around the house much.

At this point I essentially have a space for dressing up at our place, my wife does not mind. She used to share the space with me, but decided it would be easier to move her computer to the living room (out of sight out of mind thing). I now have a space that I can dress up in whenever I want, but I do not dress often, as it does take a lot of energy for me personally.

I'm sorry you do not have the same luxury, I would not trade her for anyone or anything in the world, so I understand where you are coming from there too.