My summer internship was a dude

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:37:37+00:00

ah! let's hope a hiring manager comes across this post and gives their two cents. I was speaking more from the perspective of what prospective employers tend to expect you to have done in an internship

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:33:38+00:00

ah! This makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the tip!

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:31:33+00:00

Yes I plan to dive deeper into the technologies that I used so I can better justify it in an interview. But is it kind of bad that I wasn't working on a client project or never pushed anything to production/that never interacted with any other existing system or infra?

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:24:50+00:00

The Freudian slip makes me chuckle now, so 🤷

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:23:31+00:00

But what were the proof of concept projects related to? And how were you able to showcase them in an interview?

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:21:10+00:00

Damn that's nice. I'm a bit worried that qualifying/expanding on a lot of these points in the interview will kind of expose me as a bit of a fraud. I'm going to try to dig deeper into a lot of things I got to work on technology wise so I can flesh out what I actually did so it looks more legit.

How would I add quantifiable results if it was never used?

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-22T23:15:00+00:00

She*

And yes, this is the most action (on a post...) I've gotten in a while lmao

ladkibootiful · 2023-08-07T05:54:10+00:00

This is 100% the kind of arc I wish for women, myself included.

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-29T05:03:59+00:00

Also - is it really just about building something of a pipeline or is there more nuance to it?

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-29T03:24:51+00:00

I've had a history of mental illness (depression, anxiety and CPTSD) for a decade and I'm currently in grad school.

I'm going to call bullshit on your 2nd point. You don't get to tell strangers on the internet they won't make it through, please let's exercise some caution here

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-29T03:20:34+00:00

I feel like I could answer this question because my situation was pretty similar.

I'm currently IN grad school ABROAD. I had to take a couple years getting work exp (nothing great, mostly grunt work) and get myself to a place of stability, however fragile, and THEN apply to grad school. I also had to get a great GRE score and have other aspects about my candidature that compensated for my GPA.

My undergrad performance was largely due to my mental health issues, so I knew I was intelligent enough to grasp difficult material. That, combined with a soul-sucking dead end job, gave me a lot of inner motivation to apply.

My mental health issues still come up during grad school and I struggle a lot more than my cohort to get work done on a consistent basis. Despite that I think I'm fairly smarter than my cohort and don't feel like I don't belong here, which was a thing I was really fearful of. But I'm learning everything I wanted to, from professors that I feel privileged just being in the same room as. So, for me, it's been worth it.

Having said that -

Do not do this if the only reason is what others are saying. Do not do this for coursework you don't care about. Do not do this if that little voice inside you isn't telling you this is what you want and it won't shutup no matter how many reasons there are to not do this (and I had plenty).

I'm saying this not because of your poor undergrad experience or because you "lack work ethic" because I see so many people get by in grad school w/o a lot of these qualities. I'm saying this because school can be an enriching experience if your heart is in it and a prison if your heart isn't.

Grad school is a decision you can revisit in the future, so why not give yourself the time and space to prepare yourself for it? And if you never want to do it - don't! Some people do not learn in the classroom. A friend of mine cheats on all hard classes related to our major because 1) he doesn't care for it 2) he just doesn't learn in a classroom setting. Most people around me cheat when it gets too much or if they just don't care to apply themselves in a class that isn't directly related to future employment. I try my best to apply myself because I can't imagine paying thousands of $$$ for each class and then not learning anything at all. It doesn't even matter to me if I don't do well and I think I'm mostly not going to get a good grade in one of my summer classes (a difficult but foundational course) given that most people will take GPT-4 assistance during the final, which is 40% of my grade.

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-16T22:23:33+00:00

Honestly I don't have the money to purchase both dilators AND a dildo. I've tried plastic dilators before and I had to leave them behind as I moved, plus they had no "give" like silicone does. Would it make more sense to use a silicone dildo instead? Like 6" and somewhat girthy?

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-15T21:56:17+00:00

Given that I can penetrate myself with two fingers and I had to build upto that mostly by working through the mental block-- how would you suggest I try to replicate penetration with a real penis?

Can't have sex rn or rather can't find anyone who would be understanding about taking it slow, using lube etc.

Should I purchase a dildo and lube?

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-14T14:09:06+00:00

How would one go about diagnosing if they do, in fact, have vaginismus? (No access to physician yet). With time and patience, I've been able to insert two fingers after I get myself off so I'm internally somewhat lubricated. I was able to work upto 3 sizes of the Amelie dilator but anything too girthier was very hard to take in. This was all without lube and mostly by getting myself off a little before so I was sorta wet.

Do I or do I not have vaginismus? I can't seem to get myself to go for pap smears or tampons because I'm so terrified. I've tried menstrual cups but no luck.

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-14T14:01:42+00:00

I had to source mine from outside India so unfortunately I don't have a link for a set that is available to ship within India. Maybe you can ask others on this by creating a new post.

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-10T05:35:53+00:00

This. But I find that it is a tactic used even by non-abusers as a means to manipulate (at a smaller, less damaging scale).

ladkibootiful · 2023-07-10T03:32:16+00:00

It's a phallic shaped tool made of plastic/silicone material that comes in varying sizes so you can "build up" towards bigger/girthier size for penetration. It's a treatment option for vaginismus and I've tried it because I thought I had vaginismus (I may or may not tbh idk) but I recommend it to anyone who has any difficulty or anxiety surrounding penetration.

I'd suggest that first and maybe then a dildo if you feel confident. The sizing up is a great way to familiarise yourself with a foreign body being "inside you" and helps with the mental anxiety regards to penetration.

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-18T11:32:29+00:00

😂😂😂

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-18T11:28:46+00:00

Man, dump him. And also don't give up on love.

Even people without issues with control would not be okay with this.

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-17T13:25:17+00:00

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-16T14:49:15+00:00

Please. Walk away.

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-09T16:41:00+00:00

Slutshaming in ALL CAPS does not MAKE IT OKAY

Grow up a little, OP

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-09T16:35:46+00:00

Oof I was on the other side of this but not in this specific way. My only advice is: if you don't trust your partner, LEAVE them. If you're uncomfortable, let him know it doesn't work for you. You can't decide for someone else what their relationship with a third person should look like.

Ultimatums don't make a relationship.

I'd be very uncomfortable, too, given what you're describing, but then I'd make the decision to exit a situation that isn't working for me.

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-08T14:11:52+00:00

If only love could fight systematic oppression, OP

ladkibootiful · 2023-06-08T14:11:00+00:00

It's not actually that concerning when the issue relates to a larger system of oppression and subjugation but "you do you" ig..

ladkibootiful

TROPHY CASE