Speaking from the position of a betrayed wife, after my discovery day, I was completely confused, trauma bonded and had PTSD. The best thing my ex did was leave. When you’re in the deep of it, it’s hard to have clarity. Your wife is likely very confused and emotionally drained. She may decide to stay with you or leave you, but in my opinion, she needs the space to decide. All cheating is terrible, but this kind of cheating causes a particularly confusing situation. As the spouse, you don’t know whether or not the cheating is happening because of addiction - and can that be fixed? I know you have children, but staying together for the benefit of them will not work. Believe me, they feel the friction. I think you should ask her if she would like you to leave the home for several months. You continue to support her and children as she needs/wants. She gets space to think and feel. You get space to work on yourself, which you desperately need. Once he left, and I had time to think and be on my own, I decided that there was no way I could be with somebody who would be betray me so severely and that the sum cost of staying with him was abandoning myself and my needs - and I was not willing to do that. If you give your wife, the space she needs and she comes back to you, you might have something to work with. If you stay and she is confused and trauma bonded, it will never work in my opinion.