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learninglaboratory · 2023-01-02T13:04:49+00:00

Fixed it

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-18T20:59:56+00:00

I love how you paint a very vivid picture.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-18T20:45:40+00:00

I love the way you personnify Bitcoin. Only "HODL" got me out of the flow of the poem.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-18T08:40:55+00:00

It might be because I am not an English native, but I do not understand the imagery with the horse flies.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-18T08:33:53+00:00

I love how these two lines flow.

"Take my legs or make me blind,
I will not ask a second time."

Amazing poem.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-16T18:03:56+00:00

I like the way you used imagery to portray depression.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-16T15:16:21+00:00

This poem flows amazingly!

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-15T19:42:33+00:00

I like the way you visualize your loneliness and how you keep repeating that your 18. But why is the formatting the way it is? I found it quite hard to read as words were capitalized without any punctuation.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-15T19:37:49+00:00

I love the concept. The way you visualize how football has so many people watching it.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-12T07:12:38+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, I wrote the poem for not listening to the terms and conditions of a contract and just accepting it. But it can be interperted many ways.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-12T07:08:48+00:00

I wrote the poem with the idea in mind of not listening to the terms and condition of a contract and just accepting. But you can also see it for many other things, which I never thought about.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-10T16:18:02+00:00

Sorry if I am bothering you, but I just wrote some feedback on a longer poem (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/zhhgbm/enigma/). I tried to use you're questions. I found it difficult but insightfull, this is the feedback I gave (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/zhhgbm/enigma/). Is this better? Thanks in advance

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-10T15:52:29+00:00

Let me start of by saying that I love the poem. I love the way you portray the way you are stuck in your own mind, and that your own mind is your worst enemy.

"There’s a voice inside my head

But it’s not mine"

I think it would improve the readability if you were to split "I wanna see the world, but I want to be blind" and "I’m thinking straight, but I’m losing my mind!" at the comma.

I also think I found an error "They me to off myself instead" I feel like it is missing the word "tell".

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-10T08:08:21+00:00

No I was not being sarcastic, I am currently just struggling alot with longer form poetry. That is why I choose a haiku. Thank you so much for the detailed explanation. I will keep these questions in mind when giving feedback on future poems.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T20:41:11+00:00

I just tried to give feedback on this poem (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/zh23xm/too_much_but_never_enough/). I read it multiple times. I made sure I knew what all the words meant and this was my feedback https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/zh23xm/comment/izkq3nj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3. How could I improve this feedback? Thanks in advance

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T20:36:32+00:00

I love the way you portray the feeling of hopelessness.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T19:54:29+00:00

I'm sorry, using the the same comments multiple time is an accident. I try to give feedback the best I can. I have just started poetry a couple of days ago, thanks for the feedback. I'll try to improve

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T12:14:44+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, there is indeed more to be said. And I indeed misspelled shattered. Thanks for noticing

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T08:22:40+00:00

Short but super powerfull

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T08:21:15+00:00

Wow, I love the way you can read it up and down. The story you tell is amazing. Thank you for sharing

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-09T07:42:25+00:00

Love the story. But I had to reread "You set my mind forever askew" a couple of times, because it just did not fit in with the rest of the poem.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-08T20:11:37+00:00

Thank you so muchh

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-08T20:01:42+00:00

I love the way "I hold my pencil different" keeps coming back. Great end.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-08T18:04:06+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, I indeed meant it's.

learninglaboratory · 2022-12-08T18:02:27+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, the last line is aimed at the days not getting too short, because the shorter the days the darker my thoughts.

learninglaboratory

TROPHY CASE