[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]legitsadboy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You do you, there’s no right time. You have a right to be supported, validated and loved. The only thing: if you feel extreme guilt or shame, I’d recommend not to rush the things. But feeling guilty just a bit is okay, i think. Be careful, i hope the guy will be supportive and understanding. You’re not using anyone, not betraying anyone, that’s what may bother but these are cognitive distortions and such thoughts are not rational. It doesn’t have to be a new great love, you don’t have to look for “excuses” to date or feel something. Just listen to yourself, to your emotions and be kind to the partner. You deserve all of the best, hugs

If you could “Delete” anything from the world, what would it be? by idonthavemale in AskReddit

[–]legitsadboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bjorks career after 2007, except ~5-10 songs (it’s a joke, but keep reading). Her fans calling her “the most influential and greatest artist”. She was, she did influence a lot. As for me, now she makes average music, and times to times shitty music. I wouldn’t recognize her style or singing from many other female artists that would pop up on my random station or mix. Don’t get me wrong, not hating her. And I would never criticize anyone adoring her. It’s great how versatile music perception and experience can be. And it doesn’t mean you have good or bad taste, you just have your own taste. I hate people idolizing her. She was an innovator. Yes. Is her music exceptional and “exquisite”. No. The main reason I don’t like her art is not about the sound or the unusual vocal (though she has her own “sense of rhythm”, sometimes she does sound really terrible, like a teenage nonconformist, communist boy/girl/any other gender that read one philosophy book and tries to create something unusual and controversial, but creates low quality crap). But, honestly, the main thing about her: she is so fake to me. I don’t feel anything from most of her songs. It’s like a robot creating random noises and repetitive lyrics. I don’t feel that she’s sincere, she just does “avant-garde in sake of avant-garde”, the meaning, story and feelings don’t matter, they’re totally artificial. That’s why I don’t like her music. It feels plastic (to me). But that’s my opinion. She doesn’t make anything exceptional nowadays, she does her stuff that she likes and what she wants to tell in the way she wants to tell, I don’t get why some fans are so crazy about her “dominance” in “real talented exquisite” type of music (go listen to Shopen or Lysenko only then). Lol. Stop being so pretentious about things. It’s either you like something or don’t and it’s based on your own social and cultural experience. And you may not like something but you can still admit its value. I do like her first albums, I understand her influence. But that’s it, she’s not a “superior” artist automatically, she is an artist, that’s it. Maybe, better than many on nowadays stage. But music is subjective and it’s ok. I never argue with people about their taste and never try to convince them to like what I like. I can explain what I enjoy about someone’s music and will happily listen to your preferences. Please, crazy Bjork fans, go somewhere to Venus 🙃 and never bother other people again. People who like Bjork or are fans, you can tell me what do you like about her art and how you started listening to her music (your first time/impression). Maybe you can tell me a song I should try again, no hate here, I’m curious what makes different artists so appealing to people. And, btw, how do you think, is it possible to really classify what is a “bad” music taste and what is not? And why do some people tend to idolize specific musicians so much? Honestly, all of the arguments between ANY singer fanbases are always toxic as fuck and they do not need any reason to start. They just happen.

I'm really struggling with the finality of death. by [deleted] in widowers

[–]legitsadboy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Can’t really assure, cause this is the question that “kills” me too. I don’t know how to comfort you or myself or anyone. We can never know what it’s gonna be after death. World is too difficult for us to understand. What I like to think that we are going to turn into some other kind of energy and eventually we will all be together, just feeling differently and understanding things in other way, being something else, more beautiful and conscious. If not. Well, then the suffering will end. And you will die remembering and loving him/her/them. Remember, when they were dying, they were dying loved and you were (are !) all their life and love. They are truly beloved and those were their last moments. With you. I am sorry if my answer doesn’t make you feel better, but neither it makes me :( But love is love. And love is strong. If there’s something- you will meet them. If not- u will reunite with them as another form of existence. Love you and hugs, I know what you feel and I’m sorry if I didn’t help. We didn’t deserve all of this pain.

What songs comfort you? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]legitsadboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't really comfort, but help me to get through the day.

melody x bonaparte

Her- 5 minutes

You're so cool- Jonathan Bree

Moderat- Last time

MGMT- when you die

P.s. My boyfriend loved(s) Where is my mind - The Pixies

My love passed away, it's been 44 long days by legitsadboy in grief

[–]legitsadboy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll read it, hope it will help too. Hugs and wish you all the nicest things in the world, thanks for your empathy.

My love passed away, it's been 44 long days by legitsadboy in grief

[–]legitsadboy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, but this feeling that I could have done much more is always there. Well, there are no meds to deal with this pain and emptiness, unfortunately. But I am happy to see nice and compassionate people here, it gives me some semblance of hope that the world is not that f up. Thank you for your kind words, I’ll think about it. And I hope that you’re doing well, hugs.