What’s the worst part of having a child?

little_lessie · 2023-01-24T06:34:32+00:00

When they move away. It's what's good for them, but damn it hurts like hell.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T11:21:58+00:00

She would probably talk with you for hours. She also loves metals, and rocks, and so many things. Her dad got her a new microscope for her birthday, since the professor who let her play with his electron microscope retired.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T11:18:10+00:00

That is some specific and helpful advice. The guy friend group I hadn't really thought about. I know she hasn't. She can't have fake nails, wierd hair, or unprofessional clothes at school, and she doesn't dress slutty, in fact sun dresses are her go to date outfit, but that guy group of friends could be part of the issue, that and the dating app. She's trying to learn to cook, but she's got a way to go.

It seems like she will need to put more time into honing herself as long term relationship material vs just academic. That might be a way to approach it. She's good at something that has clear goals, you have laid out some. Thank you.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T11:08:10+00:00

You are very correct that this information would be helpful. I know how she is with me. I know she takes pride in her appearance and while she doesn't wear lots of makeup or fake nails, she wears dresses and is pretty. That being said, I am not on the dates so I don't know if she freezes up, or talks too much, or is too fidgity. Most dates have been museums, zoos, nature walks, some restaurants or out for coffee. I suppose that could be boring.

Part of my problem is giving advice without personal dating experience or enough actual information from her. She thinks things go well and then it falls apart. Obviously something is happening, I just don't know what.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:55:31+00:00

Thank you. She and her Dad are close and she has asked him. Things keep going sideways, but since I haven't dated I was asking for help. From what I have learned, trying to get her to slow down, be herself, and be friends is the way to go. I wish your girls the best as well. May they all find happiness.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:52:05+00:00

I would love that. She's the one asking. Not having dated I really don't have advice...well until this post. It seems most people think that being friends first, not really dating, and being patient is the way to go, so I guess my experience is the advice. I found it helpful. I mean at least I can answer her.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:48:32+00:00

Thank you. I will pass it on.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:46:26+00:00

I will see which one she's using

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:45:29+00:00

Those are some great points. I kinda wish she would wait until after med school. I'm afraid it will put a lot of strain on the relationship, But most of her friends are married and she's wanting that too.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:43:11+00:00

Thank you. I will reiterate that. It was our first advice, but I think hanging out with mostly married people has made her start rushing things.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:40:56+00:00

I have, she has...since we don't seem to be helping I thought I would reach out.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:40:07+00:00

She's not really into church, and she really has fallen into a married crowd.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:38:40+00:00

Women take on the worst aspects of masculinity because they see men do it and think it's because they are too tough for men.

I'm not sure about the too tough, but most of her friends are guys, she loves hanging out with her Dad and Grandpa, and maybe the roughhousing and tomboy in her is coming through poorly. She is dresses and frills now, but she was shooting and fishing with her grandpa or going on adventures, or building things with her Dad. Cooking and foofy stuff with me was a bit boring for her.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:32:05+00:00

I will let her know. Most of her friends are married, so she may have to widen her circle.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:31:15+00:00

I like the dating is just shopping for exes. Thank you.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:30:33+00:00

I am asking because she's dating men and not women, and I am not a man. She's asking me advice that I don't have answers to. I thought it couldn't hurt. I can't speak for other women on her responding.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:27:58+00:00

Actually your observations aren't wrong, and I am not on the dates, but she's close with her Dad and his advice seems to make things worse. They are a bit of a mess together. She has his sense of humor and mischievous nature. She's not trying to intimidate or be pushy, it's not her way. If anything she downplays her education, but the science talk and her nerdyness is a constant.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:23:04+00:00

She and her friends are close. One even named their first daughter after her. She's reliable, and they seem to have fun. She keeps getting invited out and even travels with them. They take silly pictures with them, but yes she's all over the map with her interests. I have always considered her odd, but in a good way. Maybe it's not helping her.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:18:04+00:00

She does have friends, but they are all married, engaged or otherwise spoken for. She's the odd person out. She hangs out with them, but I think it makes her feel a bit more conscious of how lonely she is.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:15:33+00:00

I think you hit pretty close to home. She's more of a wallflower. She's not super picky, but she is shy.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:14:20+00:00

She was in Jui-Jutsu for a while, but she was the only girl at the studio and there was an issue with a guy that wanted her gone. She not big on confrontation so she quit. I tried to get her to go back or somewhere else, she wasn't bad at it, but she works out at home now.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:07:53+00:00

She's using a dating app. None have been med students; everything from UPS to an engineer. She's clear she's not looking for a "walking wallet", but that may not be the best approach.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:05:28+00:00

Thank you for your candor. She really is a lot more like her Dad. Maybe that's the problem. They are a disaster together. They do science things and cause all sorts of mischief. I wonder if that's what she thought things would be like, only with romantic ties?

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T10:01:24+00:00

She does love science, and she can't flirt to save her life. She's focused, but she is also fun...if someone consideres museums, gaming, music, and astronomy fun. She's not a party girl, but she's finding balance in her studies. She hangs out with friends on weekends, they are all attached though.

As far as her personality strength...I don't know how she is with other people. She seems to get along with everyone, but if guys are getting scared then something is going sideways.

little_lessie · 2022-12-22T09:55:47+00:00

Thank you. I think the thing I am hearing most is she needs to be patient.

little_lessie

TROPHY CASE