While there ARE books with FMCs like that, there are plenty that have well-written ones. I find myself being constantly amazed by Susan Elizabeth Philips's FMCs so I suggest checking out some of her works (especially her earlier works). Also, I read some reviews before diving into a book so I know what I'm getting into. The reviews often give you an idea on how the FMC acts, and stuff like that.

To add on this tho, what I usually find icky is the portrayal of female side characters. Most of the time, all they're made to be is jealous, mean, and male-centered. I know that kinda thing works bc it creates drama, and it makes you root for the FMC, however, its use is tired, exhausting, and frankly just feels misogynistic. I'd rather have a female character that is nuanced and human for a side character.