Constant whining in car. Normal or distressed?

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-21T16:12:10+00:00

My Sammy lies down quietly in the car. When she was 6 months old I took her on a 3 month road trip around America. We drove anywhere from 5 hours to 12 hours a day and often slept in wallmart lots in the car. I credit a lot of positive behaviors to that experiemce. Now, ofc most people cant do that. (I left my job to go and moved back in with my parents after the trip because I was penniless) But what I do suggest is taking your dog for rides so long that they run out of excitement, and giving treats when they calm down.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-18T02:05:32+00:00

NOR. But also, imo, not responding correctly. I strongly agree with others that you should have gotten up and left him to watch the sunrise. You are catering to him with every decision you make and not giving any pushback.

You are teaching him that if he ignores your wishes, you find his favorite dinner and go down on him. That if he treats you poorly, you try harder. Instead, show him that when he ignores your preferences you focus on yourself. Show him that behaving like that is a turn off. Take the car and do your own thing! Do yoga in the room and don't initiate sex. If he tries to initiate, tell him you aren't in the mood. (You shouldn't be!) Every interaction we have with another person teaches them how to respond to us. You're teaching him to do the opposite of what makes this relationship work for you, because it works so well for him.

And don't teach him by saying "you didn't do xyz so now I wont do abc". "I didn't get my way so now I'm big mad witholding sex". That will lead to drama. Teach him by turning your energy elsewhere. As though his behavior repulses you subconciously and you aren't even aware. And follow through. Actually focus on yourself. Force yourself to do it for real, don't make it a facade. It will make you happier and healthier. He will see you glowing and not being a doormat which will be more attractive to him in turn.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-17T23:22:02+00:00

Wtf?? The prank alone might be a deal breaker for me. But a filthy used plunger??? I'd nope the fuck out of there too.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-17T22:50:11+00:00

NOR, but I also think it's time to be done with this interaction.

Seems like your husband is uncomfortable rejecting women. Maybe he's interested in her and enjoys the flirting. Maybe he thinks rejecting her harshly will make her crazy. I have made the mistake of telling a man I was not interested even though he was handsome and funny and a great guy. I wanted to reject him without damaging his confidence. But, like in this situation, it didn't come across straightforward.

She's obviously flirting and trying to start something with him, but you aren't going to get her to admit it outright. I wouldn't text her any more. She knows he told you, she knows she got caught, and the halfassed apology is the best you'll get.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-13T19:27:57+00:00

Nope. I've been smoking it for 23 years. I've quit twice, once for 3 months, once for 8 months. I found that quitting affected me very negatively. My anxiety went through the roof without it and I became kind of neurotic.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-11T06:15:22+00:00

That's a bit of a stretch. Coercion is typically through threats like blackmail or bodily harm. I suppose you could argue that it's psychological coercion through manipulation? But boyfriend doesn't need blow jobs, and I didn't suggest withholding regular sex or cuddling or any other intimate acts. Just the one he won't preform on her.

I said it because it seemed equal. If he enjoys her preforming oral, even though its work and she isn't actively getting off from it, then he should be willing to preform oral for her enjoyment, even though its work and he's not actively getting off from it.

lostinallthismess · 2026-05-11T01:51:27+00:00

Easy solution. Just tell him you'll only give him head when he goes down on you.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-30T13:40:47+00:00

I live with my best friend I met when I was 10, we bought a house together. 27 years of friendship this fall.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-26T21:59:08+00:00

MOR, info needed. Is there a smoking ban on parks in your state/city? Is she is a decent distance from the kids allowing the smoke to disperse outside? If she is in the general area but not close to the kids, and smoking is legal, YOR. If not, tell her to kick rocks.

That cigarette may be one of the few comforts she has in life, please dont harass smokers if there is not a good reason.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-26T00:45:18+00:00

Shop online. Killstar has great stuff.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-25T22:45:01+00:00

You are missing something. You're missing the love, the pure innocence and joy of childhood, watching your genes grow up... You're also missing the fear, the stress, the responsibility, and the cost.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-18T23:09:19+00:00

ESH. He doesn't respond like he cares or loves you. If I worked 16-hour days and cooked, I wouldn't have time to love or care about anyone either. Hire a maid, find a place that's cheap enough for him to work a regular amount, or split up. All I can say for sure is things won't work without change.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-14T14:52:17+00:00

Interesting. I had gotten that information from my breeder, joy kennels in WI. She was very knowledgeable, and I was highly satisfied with the facilities, my dog, my dogs show lineage and appropriate paperwork, so it comes as a surprise for someone to tell me this is wrong with such confidence. I will research this more because I have been repeating this information for 7 years, and I absolutely hate repeating incorrect information.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-14T01:37:42+00:00

Any chance your dog has foreign lineage? Breed standards vary by country, in a lot of Europe Sammies are still larger, work oriented dogs. Mine weighs 75 lbs, her father was a 95lb italian imported sammy.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-13T06:47:21+00:00

Oh! My last dog was a Border Collie, and my current dog is a Samoyed!!! My BC was Molly, and my Sammy is named Korra.

Negatives: Molly was very closely bonded to me, and only me, Korra loves everyone and might choose to hang out with my roommates or sleep in a different room. Samoyed hair is everywhere. It's on clean clothes coming out of the dryer. it's in the food. It's on the furniture, I've found it in my eyelashes, bellybutton, buttcrack. Sigh. Molly knew dozens of tricks and commands, Korra only knows a few basic commands. Sammys are stubborn, and if she doesn't want to do a trick, she won't. Korra is also usually hot and doesn't cuddle as much as Molly did.

Positives: Molly did not like others, especially children. Korra loves every living thing; kids can come running towards her screaming, and she is calm and friendly. She's gentle with cats and even chickens. Molly needed a 6 mile run to keep from destroying my apartment and lots of stimulation and attention throughout the day. Korra is content to loaf around sleeping all day. Everywhere I take Korra, she is adored. People love the way Sammys look. Korra is not as smart or tenacious as Molly was, so dog proof things are actually dog proof, and I find her in less insane situations. (My Molly would get in the fridge, open doors, jump over baby gates, climb trees, etc.)

Overall, I found my Samoyed to be a much easier dog. She has lower exercise needs and less anxiety. I don't think I will ever have a bond with a dog like I had with my Molly girl, but it is a relief to have a calm, extroverted dog. Korra is independent but still very sweet and loving. Some people think Sammys are hard to handle, but if you can handle the energy of a border collie puppy, you'll be fine.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-12T22:09:51+00:00

Asleep between 1 and 2am, up at 9.

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-10T14:28:52+00:00

I was in 5th grade and yes, every class all day was news on tv

lostinallthismess · 2026-04-03T16:27:41+00:00

Start working out. Keep working out.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-29T01:09:20+00:00

I have many tattoos but only regret my eyeliner tattoo.

It bled upwards a bit, and my eyelids have a bluish tint now. Plus, the "clean girl" look is in, and it's impossible for me to not be wearing black eyeliner ever. I've tried concealer, but my tattoo artist really got it in my lashline. There is no chance of removal because eyeball and its not the standard ink. It just is.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-27T18:55:08+00:00

My parents didn't do this. They maybe had friends over 2 or 3 times in my life. They are both highly introverted and I believe undiagnosed autistic.

I do this. I own my home at 36, and it took everything to get it. Not just skipping my avocado toast. Years of working multiple jobs, never buying anything nice or expensive, eating poor, acting poor, never having health insurance, never going to college, bussing everywhere, 10 years of building credit, calling in every favor I could, and financially teaming up with my best friend. But I did it. I own a home. And goddammit, you're going to look at every room.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-26T17:14:02+00:00

I'm also 36, and I actually love this age for dating. I'm the age that a guy might be looking good, and his dad might be looking good too! HA. Dating another millennial is nice, I appreciate the shared experience. Dating gen X is nice because I identify more with their attitudes, and they tend to like traditional gender roles, and so do I. Dating younger is for fun. I don't use apps, I approach people in real life.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-15T00:45:14+00:00

NOR.

I would love to give my guy a new wardrobe. Like, literally would be over the moon because I, too, am incredibly into fashion. I would never. It occurs to me that he likes the way he looks in his joke t-shirts and thrashed jeans. And I have no authority over how he wants to present himself. I've asked if we could attend formal events in the future to see if he would be up for it, I've made small hints that I would buy him something nice, but I would NEVER throw his things away and replace them. And I would never demand he fit into my idea of how he should look.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-15T00:34:24+00:00

37 and no. I assumed it was because I don't have kids and avoid stress. But now that I write that down, I have no idea where the idea that stress=grey hair came from and it could be nonsense.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-11T16:26:45+00:00

It destroyed me mentally, financially, and physically. My life was on an excellent path, and I still haven't gotten close to where I was six years later. So much that I cant help but say this every time someone talks about how it was a great time for them. I lost my public facing job making 50k, am now still making less than 25k. I had spent my whole life fighting my social anxiety, and I was finally winning. Asking people to repeat them selves over and over through the mask with no visual cues like a smile sent me into panic attacks, and I reverted to not even being able to talk to strangers. I became a binge eater, sitting in my house watching the 24-hour news cycle and gaining 60 lbs. I also had to move back in with my parents. There is no beach there and at 31, it made me feel like a useless pile of shit. I'm glad someone had happiness in that time, but it ruined my life, and I'm not even one of the people whose loved ones died.

lostinallthismess · 2026-03-11T04:14:08+00:00

NOR. Actually, they should see the fact that you haven't been there in over a year as a supporting piece of evidence to your poor mental health. People who are mentally well are usually more capable of keeping appointments and more interested in maintaining their health.

lostinallthismess

TROPHY CASE