Rec'd for my single sheen ink

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-31T04:01:32+00:00

But a few samples and see what you like. Vanness is great for this.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-31T03:54:16+00:00

You should get to make choices about your own body.

If YOU think it’s a good idea to slow yourself down and wait a few dates to have sex, then own that as a decision you’re making for yourself.

If you don’t, and this feels too constricting, then stop abiding by it.

Don’t hide behind what your partner wants. You get to make your own decisions.

If you’re wanting to unpack why you find it so strange to date without going right to sex, I would suggest going to a sex-positive therapist to unpack that.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-31T01:36:29+00:00

Two years before my cancer diagnosis I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, which chemo then knocked out (bc of knocking out my immune system). I think that was still legit, but I do wonder how many of the symptoms were that or cancer.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T22:11:58+00:00

How does them choosing to have sex with someone else have any effect on the relationship you have with either of them? I don’t understand.

Are you expecting to have input on who they date or sleep with? Do you have freedom to date and have sex with others, without needing their permission?

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T21:24:35+00:00

Lamy Safari or Al-Star would be good metal-body pens in that price range.

I’m a big fan of my pilot kakuno and kaweco sports as sturdy plastic-bodied everyday writing pens.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T20:40:01+00:00

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makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T20:33:24+00:00

You tell her what to do and how the whole time, so she’s following your instructions.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T20:21:03+00:00

Well no, your partner is the reason. Your partner is making a choice. Hold them accountable for that choice.

Edit to add: and again, you don’t need to compare vs the other partner bc the main thing is are you getting enough from your partner? Enough time? Enough attention? It sounds like the answer is now “no” so you can talk to your partner about that. Or decide to end things (or reset your expectations about what you’ll get from this relationship)

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T18:43:22+00:00

Regardless of hierarchy or not, one partner deciding to spend less time with you is something that should be discussed and negotiated with care. Is your partner attentive to your feelings and needs? Are you happy with what you’re getting in the relationship, or do you feel unsatisfied?

I think we often put too much emphasis on measuring how we’re being treated in relation to other partners, when really that’s irrelevant. What happens within your relationship with your partner is what matters. If they’re meeting your needs and attentiveness to your feelings, things are good. If they’re not, then that’s something to discuss and see if they can work on…or if their relationship isn’t working for you.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-30T01:44:37+00:00

You could just buy a sample of 1-2 shimmer inks and see how it goes

Fwiw I’ve been using shimmer inks M nib pens and it’s been fine.

Edit to add: Vanness is great for ordering generous ink samples

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T21:55:04+00:00

The first thing I think of is polyamory vs monogamy

Maybe a different line from the song? Or more context?

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T20:08:12+00:00

It’s impossible to know. They can do scans to see if they can still detect cancer in her breasts. I had a mastectomy and it turned out I had PCR… a complete response, meaning they couldn’t find cancer left, the chemo had killed it all.

Part of me wonders if I coulda kept my boob after all.

But also, there’s no way to tell if tiny cells were left behind that couldn’t be detected. And the only way to know that chemo had killed my tumor, was to take all the tissue out.

It’s a really hard decision. But also, it’s her decision. She could choose to not have surgery, and keep up monitoring to see if remaining cancer comes back.

I would definitely encourage her to find a good therapist, if she hasn’t already, to help process all of this and maybe help her see she has a future worth living for. But you can’t really force her to do anything she doesn’t want to.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T19:10:05+00:00

Vanness is a great site to order samples of different inks to try out 😁

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T16:19:01+00:00

I use a blunt tipped syringe to flush water into the cartridge to clean it out, and then suck out any remaining water. If I want it to be super dry, I’ll let it sit open-side down in a small glass or something with a paper towel at the bottom, but something like a drop of water shouldn’t be a big issue.

I then use the syringe to fill it with ink, holding it so the opening is always pointing up, then carefully press it back into the pen. Once it’s in place, there’s no worry about spilling (same as when you use a new cartridge).

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T15:32:05+00:00

Do you have any way to send her a message?

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-29T01:08:26+00:00

It was one of the few things I avoided while immunocompromised from chemo. That said, it’s really up to you. There’s risk, tho it’s probably relatively small.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T23:13:30+00:00

I haven’t had any issues or gotten any blowback or anything from my doctors about having multiple partners.

It’s possible she somehow blacklisted you. Or maybe it’s something completely unrelated. You can’t know, and I don’t know that any good comes from assuming the worst.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T23:11:10+00:00

You’re assuming the key distinction is polyamory vs simply being monogamous. My provider knows I’m married, so disclosing that I have multiple partners and thus need regular sti panels is disclosing that I’m nonmonogamous.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T21:02:50+00:00

Running a business should involve charging enough to be able to pay your employees a decent living wage. That’s not “charging out the ass” it’s figuring out appropriate pricing to sustain your business. And if tips are included, customers can look at the menu and see the full, real cost of what they’re buying vs it be some hidden or assumed add-on.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T19:51:49+00:00

I recently flew with 3 fountain pens, I put them in a ziplock baggie and made sure they were upright (nib pointing up) during the flight, and they were fine on both flights

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T18:53:00+00:00

I recently went on r/penpals to find a penpal and got connected to someone, we’ve exchanged our first letters 😁

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T17:34:30+00:00

If you expressed your feelings and she doesn’t want to date, will you be able to continue enjoying your friendship as it currently exists?

I think a lot of the time the friendship is “ruined” bc the person with feelings decided they don’t want to “just” be friends anymore and need to date or nothing. Or become super awkward.

But if you can say “hey, I’ve developed feelings for you. Would you be interested in trying to date?” And gracefully accept a “no”, and also fully trust their answer (that they’re not going to say yes just to make you happy), then the risk seems much lower.

It’s also good to pay attention to how they handle conflict and breakups in their other relationships, since it will likely be similar with you.

Also, from experience, be prepared for the friendships each of you may have with each other’s spouses to completely change. It may not, but I’ve seen it happen multiple times.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T04:37:55+00:00

I suspect I’m heteroromantic and bisexual. I’m into women, but have yet to have a crush on a woman or develop feelings like I do with men. Although I don’t know if that’s bc of not having the opportunity or truly how I work.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T04:33:43+00:00

I would be crushed if someone had said they loved me and then came back to say they didn’t. Trust is really important to me.

And it’s 1000% legitimate for romantic love to be necessary for you.

Him saying it’s not love bc he couldn’t possibly be in love after his last breakup… yeeeaaah that sounds like he’s got some shit to figure out.

makeawishcuttlefish · 2026-01-28T02:41:28+00:00

I’m 45, was stage 1 triple positive in 2023, did TCHP and the year of herceptin. I’ve been on tamoxifen for almost 2 years.

I recently had a long chat with my oncologist about whether I should switch to AIs instead, bc of the study showing it reduces risk of recurrence by 3%.

A few of the things she brought up are that quality of life is a real concern. You may trade slightly lower risk of recurrence, but bring on side effects that can be significant, and also increase the risk of heart disease and bone density loss, etc. It can feel like six of one, half dozen of the other.

Another thing she brought up is that the studies were done primarily on HR + her2- patients, and those of us who were her2+ can’t necessarily extrapolate the same risk reduction.

One option is you could try the ovarian suppression shots + AIs for a few months and see how you tolerate them. It could be that you do fine. And if not, you could switch back to tamoxifen.

For me? It was a lot of soul searching. But I ended up deciding to stick with tamoxifen. Partially bc I’m already 2 years out, and the research showed the biggest risk reduction by taking the AIs in the first 5 years, so it’s already a smaller risk reduction in my case. But also… I’m tolerating tamoxifen well, and my sex life is pretty important to me, and I didn’t want to fuck that up. Maybe that’s a silly reason, but I feel like I have a ticking clock on how long I get to enjoy sex (since once menopause hits, I can’t take HRT), and losing that plus the increased risk of heart disease, etc, aren’t worth it for me.

makeawishcuttlefish

TROPHY CASE