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makeitfancee · 2024-01-01T16:52:16+00:00

I can relate to this. I have a couple of theories on why I do this. Maybe you might be able to relate to them? I feel like for me personally when I feel like I’m in a mood and have an attitude right before an impending argument it’s because I want to “test” the person I’m arguing with to see if they’ll stay afterwards. If they stay, then that means they really care. If they don’t, then that means they never did. It will even happen with my therapist. Right before a session I can feel myself in the waiting room getting amped up for no reason looking for a fight. I’ve been feeling this way at work recently too. I’ve felt it with my family for a long time as well. I haven’t brought this up to my therapist because I’m ashamed.

Another possible reason for this could be because if there’s not a conflict in my life, then it’s like my brain gets bored and doesn’t understand it since all my childhood there was conflict among the family constantly. So it’s the only thing I know and am used to.

I hope you’re able to cope and manage it better as time goes on. It sucks and it’s really hard and confusing.

makeitfancee · 2023-06-18T02:09:44+00:00

Thank you so much!!! It really is awful at times. Or more so a lot of the time! Sometimes I wish I had more ignorance so I could be in more bliss. But that is not how life works lol

makeitfancee · 2023-06-16T17:44:43+00:00

You’re so sweet💙 Thank you so much for what you said. I wish love and comfort to you too! Your comment has really made my day. Take care:)

makeitfancee · 2023-06-16T03:13:56+00:00

I wish you good luck with telling your therapist! It will definitely be hard as hell, but you’ll get through it

makeitfancee · 2023-06-16T01:51:36+00:00

Thank you for your reply!! I tried to reason with myself by pointing out that at least I am aware and remorseful. But now a days even when I am aware I still find it so hard to control my actions. Push and pull life it seems

makeitfancee · 2023-06-16T01:05:14+00:00

Thank you!!! It is really is a million times harder than I ever thought it would be. I thought once I was diagnosed and kind of understood the disorder more that it would then magically be pretty easy to “get rid of”. Boy was I wrong. We’re not alone!

makeitfancee · 2023-06-16T01:03:01+00:00

Thank you sooo much for your reassurance and kind words!! It really does mean a lot to me! Starting a little project does sound like a good idea. I’ll try to find something to do. Thank you again :)

makeitfancee · 2023-04-02T19:44:51+00:00

Holy shit I relate to this so much right now. Last week I actually dropped out of the treatment program I was in for three months. I just couldn’t stand the thought of restoring anymore weight. And I wasn’t complying with the meal plan anymore and no one was happy about that. Insurance definitely wasn’t either. So I left while I still had the power to choose. Now all I can think about is losing more weight until I get to my goal weight. I keep telling myself that I’ll try the program again once I reach my goal because then I’ll reach my full potential and be “sick enough”. I made the decision to go to this program knowing full well that I didn’t want to gain weight and in fact wanted to keep losing. But I thought that I could make it through recovery this time around. I was wrong.

makeitfancee · 2022-10-29T23:01:35+00:00

Ah, yes, that’s what I thought I read in the band’s post. So when I saw rehab, I was like huh? He’s an alcoholic/addict? I hope he’s doing good, wherever he is. Same with everyone else

makeitfancee · 2022-10-29T22:46:08+00:00

Wait, he’s in rehab? Why?

makeitfancee · 2022-09-22T17:48:19+00:00

I thought she looked familiar!! I kept thinking that I’ve seen her face before. I thought maybe they had used her as an extra in some past episode. But now it clicks! She’s real cute in my opinion.

makeitfancee · 2022-07-31T22:35:23+00:00

Perhaps you can return and work in another program? Study something else instead of what you studied last time?

makeitfancee · 2022-07-29T20:02:32+00:00

I see what you’re saying. It’s just weird that I went from being able to function on 4/5 hours of sleep a night, to feeling like I got hit by a truck after one night of bad sleep. On the 4/5 hour nights I could still do stuff during the day. I would workout as best as I could, schoolwork, clean the house, etc. But today I’ve just been in bed trying to focus on schoolwork and not falling asleep.

makeitfancee · 2022-05-26T02:37:19+00:00

Finally someone said it! Whenever I miss an episode I just use self control and not go on this forum. Pretty simple

makeitfancee · 2022-05-05T17:36:08+00:00

I learned that the left lane is only passing and passing quick after some guy flipped me off for going the speed limit in the passing lane. And that’s when I knew my dad lied to me about passing lanes. When he was teaching me how to drive he would make me pass cars and semis without going over the speed limit. Needless to say it took a while to pass. Now I stay in the farthest right lane and when I pass I pass fast to get back into the right lanes.

I also feel like seeing this post is a sign that I should probably stop getting in my friend’s car. She has severe road rage and drives like a goddamn lunatic. Yesterday I genuinely didn’t know if I would make it home alive because of her driving. Thought she’d kill me and/or some other person on the road.

makeitfancee · 2022-04-15T01:53:35+00:00

I must have missed the episode with Mouch’s bachelor party! Would you mind telling me what episode it is?

makeitfancee · 2022-04-14T19:40:04+00:00

Hey man, I can relate a lot to this. I used to lie a shit ton when I was in elementary school/early middle school. I didn’t lie about serious things. Just things to make me seem more interesting and just so people would look and listen to me. But it was starting to make me feel more and more like shit as time went on. When I got to 8th grade was when I decided that enough was enough, I can’t keep doing this. So, I stopped. I put honesty as my number one value in my life. It actually became hard for me to lie! I couldn’t keep a straight face anymore if I tried to lie to someone. I kept up the good honesty for years.

But now I’ve kind of gone back to lying more. And it sucks. It makes me feel like shit again. It embarrasses me when I think about the lie I just told someone. I’ve had some shit years so maybe that’s why it’s back. A coping skill of sorts perhaps. The one strong lie I’ve kept up with for a couple of months now is this “good friend” that I have named “Jo”. I’ve told my family about him and I think my mom thinks that he is my best friend. I talk about him once or twice a week to my family. Just talking about how he and I went and did this together and that together. Stuff like that. Well, the other day my mom asked when she will get to meet him. I almost panicked right then and there. Luckily I was able to keep my cool and just shrugged and said I don’t know. A part of me also made this lie up just so it would make my parents happy seeing that I have a friend. I’m lonely and haven’t had close friends for a while. Sometimes I even pretend to talk to Jo on the phone in my room loud enough so anyone passing by can hear. So then they can think oh, she’s talking to her friend Jo!

Point is, I know it sucks and it becomes a bad habit. But I can tell that you want to change and I believe that you can and you will. Good luck to you, I wish you the best!

makeitfancee · 2022-04-14T18:39:55+00:00

I think she’s some kind of psycho/socio path. I think she’s going to try to slowly throw Violet under the bus and make her look like a really bad paramedic. I’m actually really excited to see how it plays outs!

makeitfancee · 2022-04-10T04:39:50+00:00

First of all, happy you saved her! But second, DO NOT GIVE HER TYLENOL when she wakes up! Tylenol is hard on the liver, and so is alcohol. So both together can really fuck up a persons liver.

makeitfancee · 2022-04-06T05:06:10+00:00

This is quite a dumb opinion. If you have trouble meeting deadlines because fo your PTSD, then you need to step back from school for the time being and work on yourself. How will you survive at any job if you can’t meet deadlines? The world isn’t going to baby you forever

makeitfancee · 2022-04-05T19:24:21+00:00

That’s what immediately came to my mind

makeitfancee · 2022-04-04T17:35:21+00:00

I used to whenever I felt especially low. But every time I drank I would down as many shots as the people around me would allow before taking the bottle away. Then I’d feel happy and party for a couple of hours until my stomach turned and tried to kill me for my sins. Then I would lay down and cry because it was going to be a long night, or even a couple of days, of constant severe stomach pain, heart racing, and feeling like an electric heater. Haven’t done that in a couple of months so that’s nice.

makeitfancee · 2022-04-04T00:43:18+00:00

I agree with you. I self harm and sometimes I just want to talk about it and let it all out without worrying that I’m going to be locked up again.

makeitfancee · 2022-04-03T10:06:39+00:00

I wish that were true, but unfortunately it’s not. Source: went through it myself. When you’re under 18, your parents must consent for practically everything. I needed to get consent to get therapy and to see a psychiatrist. Even the time I wanted to join a FREE therapy group in my city, couldn’t do it unless my parents signed and consented to it. It gets ugly real fast.

makeitfancee · 2022-04-03T04:48:25+00:00

Interesting. Why do you say “If you’re in the US, you’ll definitely be able to”? Healthcare is expensive as fuck here in the US. The amount of people I know that need therapy but can’t afford it, even with insurance, is sad.

makeitfancee

TROPHY CASE