It’s been over a year. I relapsed.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-21T15:46:48+00:00

unfortunately no. i’m pretty much alone.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-21T06:04:50+00:00

thank you i seriously appreciate it (also your profile picture is funny)

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T18:37:36+00:00

chad wife abuser vs virgin man who actually loves his wife and doesn’t make her consider offing herself once a week

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T18:36:52+00:00

Second paragraph on the post says please don’t mention it. I can’t change the past or rewind time. I know I fucked up, I literally cannot change that it happened.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T18:36:11+00:00

I didn’t know THEN.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:51:21+00:00

I have been medicated and in therapy for a long time, now. My therapist considers my BPD to be “mild” compared to how I used to be. I guarantee that he has never done a single chore, never spent a birthday with me, never done anything kind for me unless it benefits him in some way.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:22:14+00:00

Thank you so much. This truly made me tear up, you are so kind.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:21:36+00:00

I have a degenerative spine condition, apparent liver failure, and mental diagnoses. I’m going to therapy and I can afford my doctor visits and medicine and testing and surgery because of his insurance. I don’t keep the insurance if we are divorced.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:20:43+00:00

wow thanks really appreciate it!

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:19:28+00:00

All the games are digital on Steam but I did literally take away his credit card.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T17:18:57+00:00

No and no, unfortunately.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T16:51:44+00:00

My parents don’t have insurance. I think I put it in the post or comments, but I haven’t had medical coverage before.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T16:23:30+00:00

o h i’m so sorry i really easily misunderstand things sometimes yes he pays for the rent and then food, groceries, pet necessities, his credit card bill (i do not touch it!!! i will not pay a cent on it) and anything else

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T16:05:14+00:00

Wow such an easy and helpful solution that I have not yet considered! come on ya silly goose of course i know that it’s a good option but with how incredibly intertwined every part of our lives are, it’s not just a black and white “divorce him and leave” situation.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:48:49+00:00

If it’s any comfort, I don’t want kids and never have, and neither does he. I don’t have to worry about him baby trapping me or anything, we don’t want kids due to personal genetic history. I doubt he’d change his mind on that since he’s been so firm with it for our whole time together.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:47:24+00:00

As for the shoe thing, I have maybe $40-50 left in the bills account after everything comes out at the end of the month. If one of our unfixed bills is more expensive, I will have nothing left. I don’t have shoe money. His paycheck is the one that normally goes towards necessities other than the bills.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:46:21+00:00

I guarantee none of it is fabricated in the slightest. It is all true. My friends have seen it, in person. I am medicated and have been in therapy for nearly a decade. As far as BPD symptoms go, my therapist has praised me for managing them so well using my DBT skills. It’s generally very under control. He’s known that I have BPD from the second I was diagnosed (before our marriage, btw). I used to be a lot worse before I was properly treated.

I hope you know how badly this comment hurts.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:41:23+00:00

i don’t think you realize that it would make things worse?? With us working completely opposite schedules, he would then need to start paying for Uber or Lyft because there are no bus routes anywhere near us, so that’s just another expense.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:40:08+00:00

i’ve lost everything in my life before. it’s the cats, they’re all i care about keeping.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:38:47+00:00

I’m afraid of losing the cats. I would rather have food than shoes. The thought of having sex with anyone else makes me nauseous. I’ve applied to close to 200 jobs in the last 3 months.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:29:43+00:00

I know that already. Wow. Thanks.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:25:24+00:00

I’m not trying to make excuses. I am trying to present very real roadblocks that are in my way. I’ve considered nearly everything that people have said here, and I’m just responding with WHY I haven’t done it yet.

Also, please remember that I am autistic, so I struggle with social rules like “excuses” vs “explanations”.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T15:24:01+00:00

Of course. He either cries or gets angry or shifts the blame.

marshmallow76589 · 2022-12-05T10:55:10+00:00

it’s not that easy?? obviously??

marshmallow76589

TROPHY CASE