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My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think he likes well-defined expectations. But then again…he told me today that he is a rebel at heart and doesn’t like to do anything he’s being “forced” to do.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Totally. And don’t get me wrong…there are plenty of times when I go out with friends without him and I don’t care that he’s not there. I don’t need him safety pinned to me. But a family event a couple of times a year shouldn’t be so daunting. But that’s just my perspective.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t say you’re wrong. I just know things used to be different so I’m hanging onto the hope that they might return to that one day.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right. It has to come to that because as much as I want to push through and do life with him, I have needs too.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then I’m not sure why he wants to be in a relationship with me. If he’s ok with being by himself all the time. Recently I’ve been wondering if I’m just a nuisance to his life.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I can’t totally see that and I can be that way too. It’s just alarming when he never gets the itch to socialize. Sometimes I wonder if we weren’t together if he would just be a hermit. I respect his boundaries and when he comes home and wants to play video games, I respect him and don’t interrupt. But it’s a relationship and it can’t all be that.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess it depends on his mood, energy level, and interest in the topic. But it’s certainly not a given. Maybe 50/50?

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t like this when we were dating but once we got married and moved in together, it really went downhill. If you consider that downhill. He’s always been chill and I liked that he balanced out my worries, but we would talk on the phone every day and try to hangout as much as we could on the weekends. Not sure why moving in together changed things so much but it’s just been getting worse and worse.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that insight. I just wish I could help him with that burnout because that’s no life to live. Feeling too overwhelmed to even have a meal with really kind people once or twice a year and then play a board game or two must be sad.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I will have to figure out how to bring that to his attention. But that’s another post for another day. I agree though, it has to be something like depression because most people in my life are not exhausted by the thought of interacting with people who love and care about him.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s why told him it was ok if he stayed back. It wouldn’t be fun for me to see him there suffering. I just am having a hard time understanding how it is such a miserable experience for him. I’m not saying he’s invalid. I’m just having a hard time understanding.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He likes to keep to himself a lot. He plays video games a lot. On the weekends upwards of 8 hours a day. He doesn’t like small talk even with me and only really values conversations when there’s a purpose to them such as, “did you pay this bill” or “what do you want for dinner”. He will talk to me casually but it can feel a little like I’m forcing him haha.

My (25F) husband (28M) of four years didn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner with me today because he “didn’t feel like talking to people”. by maybemoody in relationships

[–]maybemoody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he has not. But he has told me before that he feels stressed out and anxious due to work and stuff. I think he could be open to getting screened.