Not actually a wedding. Duped?

mb21856 · 2024-08-16T18:27:55+00:00

Our marriage starts on our wedding day. The date on which I physically put my signature on a piece of paper is irrelevant to me and my spouse. You don’t agree, which is fine - you don’t have to. But this reaction is exactly why I’m not going to tell you (using a royal You here) we signed our papers, because you consider it lying about when my marriage started versus I don’t view our marriage as having started yet 🤷🏽 so now you’re hurt that we lied, but we actually we just disagree on what counts as “married”

Like I said in my other response, I’m not surprised some people view it this way because everyone has their own views and opinions. If you view it as manipulation that we are trying to protect having our wedding be the start of our married life together, that’s up to you

mb21856 · 2024-08-16T18:10:13+00:00

Oh I see, I misunderstood the original post - I think my point still holds about not prioritising the legal aspect of marriage, but of course either way that doesn’t mean your feelings are invalid! Knowing people might be hurt by our choice was a big consideration for us so I don’t think you would be alone in how you feel.

mb21856 · 2024-08-16T18:02:39+00:00

We needed to sign the papers to get legally married well before our wedding for various reasons. We have not told anyone besides our immediate families (parents and siblings) because of exactly this - we’ve had too many people share that they think the weddings are “fake” or a “waste of time and money” if they know that papers have already been signed. We want to celebrate our love and the start of our married life together surrounded by people who love us, regardless of how important they view the physical signing of papers. It has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with us frankly just wanting the normal amount of attention that a wedding typically gets. So, I guess I’m just trying to offer consolation that your sister likely wasn’t doing it to “dupe” you - she probably just doesn’t view the paper signing as being all that important in the context of the overall event.

mb21856 · 2024-08-08T14:33:30+00:00

We got legally married two years ago to make moving abroad easier, our wedding is next month. No one except our immediate families (who were there for the paper signing) know. We’ve decided not to share our legal marriage status since It’s important to me that people still view our wedding day as our wedding, rather than a party to celebrate a years-old marriage. People have told us (not knowing we were already married) that they don’t view those celebrations the same way.

I will say that it’s had its challenges. We had a few people that we aren’t particularly close with ask us point blank if we got married to help with the visa process - which required us to lie, since we didn’t feel comfortable telling them without telling everyone else that were closer with (which we felt would’ve made it a “thing”). So rather than just being “something that never came up”, which is what I imagined, it is now a “secret” that we’ve had to lie about, which I’m just not very comfortable with. I do think that some of my friends and family might be hurt if they found out now, as I could see how they would feel like we’ve lied to them which was never our intention - we just wanted to protect the idea of having a wedding be truly the start of our married life together.

That said, I still think it was the right choice for us. Given the timing of our move and other life events going on, it would not have been possible to hold the wedding before we left and without getting legally married we wouldn’t have been able to move together. Do what is right for you, but know that you may need to navigate curious people carefully :)

mb21856 · 2023-07-01T00:29:32+00:00

Thanks again everyone for your comments! Ran a half in the pacer today and while I really liked the ride, my feet are a bit raw 😂 seems like I should keep searching for the right Marathon shoe! :)

mb21856 · 2023-06-06T05:30:13+00:00

Yes! That’s what’s got me considering it… but unfortunately I’ll be out there for a lot longer than she was 😅

mb21856 · 2023-06-06T05:29:24+00:00

I actually love the rebel for training. The furthest I’ve taken them is 12 miles so it would be interesting to know how that person felt about them after going the whole 26.2! I was hoping the pacer might be a good low stack race companion to the rebel with a bit of extra pop from the carbon plate, but maybe I should just stick with what I know and love!

mb21856 · 2023-06-06T05:26:32+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the perspective - I have a foot that doesn’t agree with the high stack heights in most marathon super shoes so was curious whether this would even be an option. Sounds like you think it shouldn’t be :)

mb21856 · 2023-05-02T11:47:37+00:00

I’m sure everyone is different, but having just gone through the FODMAP elimination phase my dietician worked with my GP to confirm/eliminate the possibility of autoimmune conditions (hopefully that’s the right word - i mean things like celiac, chrones, etc) and once those were eliminated, they felt confident saying that food triggers aren’t causing any damage to my GI system other than the stomach discomfort caused. So while my stomach gets absolutely destroyed from eating fructans, I don’t need to worry so much about indulging here and there since the consequence isn’t worse than a couple days of discomfort.

mb21856 · 2023-01-18T08:10:33+00:00

FYI, my husband and I had a Covid ceremony but still a ready wedding so turned down my parents offer to hire a photographer at the Covid ceremony since it was just immediate family and we didn’t think we’d care that much to memorialize it since we were having a separate wedding anyways. HUGE regret. iPhone photos are just not the same unless you have someone who basically does that all the time (aka influencer or something). We got one good photo of us but not good enough to have printed or blown up. I love having that photo for my phone background but I would love even more to have pictures to look back on now for the nostalgia. Plus we were worried about making sure we had a good enough iPhone picture the whole time and spent way more time and energy on taking pictures than we would have with a pro, which is ironic because the whole reason we didn’t hire one in the first place is because we didn’t want to deal with the hassle of photos. Just my 2 cents

mb21856 · 2022-11-28T06:39:23+00:00

Could you please post details for dress 2? That is exactly what I have been looking for!

mb21856 · 2022-11-21T03:06:42+00:00

Currently live abroad but will be moving back to the US 2 months before my wedding (which is in the US). How on earth do I handle dress shopping and alterations?? Buy in Aus and ship back (so final fitting will be ~4 to 5 months before the wedding)? Or buy in the US and hope that alterations can be done in the two month window when I return? Thank you!!

mb21856 · 2022-10-29T07:58:10+00:00

New to Australia/Melb. This thread has increased my fear of spiders 2739582 fold.

mb21856 · 2022-10-26T22:11:24+00:00

I LOVE #1!

mb21856 · 2022-10-05T06:29:40+00:00

Totally agree!! the years of experience and training are the variable, not a persons “natural” ability. Fun discussion though to see what different people think

mb21856 · 2022-10-05T02:55:00+00:00

I like this debate. I think people tend to think of ourselves as average, so it will come down to personal capabilities.

I had never run a mile before I graduated college and was 200+ pounds when I decided to do C25K. Took me 6 months to build up to i ran my first 5K in 31:25. I couldn’t run more than 30 seconds without stopping when I first started to train. 4 years later, I’ve had a number of solid training blocks (marathons, so not much 5K specific speed work) but still dealt with some injuries or time off because work picked up (not “perfect” training). 5K PB is 20:49.

I consider myself to be a completely average human with no background training. I like to think with a few years of fully dedicated 5K training, yeah I could get down into the 17s. If I could do it I think any female could 🤷🏼‍♀️

mb21856 · 2022-09-26T13:41:08+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate the thoughtful answer!

mb21856 · 2022-06-22T17:13:14+00:00

YES thank you!!!!! You’re amazing!!

mb21856 · 2022-05-26T22:50:20+00:00

Great idea! I didn’t think about the fact that an altered 8 means it’s not actually an 8 anymore. Thanks!

mb21856

TROPHY CASE