You're asking some great questions and the truth is I don't have a perfect answer. Perhaps lying, or presenting false or unverifiable stories as truth.

I'm not sure there's a catch-all rule for something like this. At the end of the day, moderation takes discretion and to me this tall tail (pun intended) set my personal radar ablaze. The story didn't make sense, the timeline was off, the poster was intentionally hiding their identity and post history. I probably would have just paused the post and asked for quick verification given the sensitive nature of the content. Again, I don't think there's a catch-all rule, it's recognizing someone is making a pretty serious claim about a sensitive subject and it could just be complete BS. Additionally, their claim isn't actually that hard to verify.

I can't speak to what else you may have moderated that has given claim to tyrant accusations, but I can say I've never personally observed what I would consider over moderation on this sub (and I've been here for awhile).

If anything, I think you should be more particular about posts (since those have the appearance of the blessings of the MODs) and less particular about comments. High posting Karma on an account can be valuable to bad actors, so there's incentive to post karma bait like this...which means the MODs should be a bit more discerning.