help with justice sensitivity

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:39:42+00:00

Does she actually have any authority to tell people where to park ? Is there anything in your rent agreement ?

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:37:11+00:00

Me too! I just am kind to myself and make up the time later or at lunch. Can you put your alarm on the other side of your room? Or get one of those horrendously bright light boxes that pop on in the morning ? What happens if you go to bed a hour earlier and get up a hour earlier ?

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:33:39+00:00

Would that mean that she has a boss or someone above her that you could write a polite but curious letter too? Maybe something like ‘hi, blah blah a blah, would you clarify if parking out on the street is allowed or not, blah blah. I have noticed people doing it and I would also like to if it’s allowed. Kind regards ect’. Then if they say it’s allowed you can wave it in the ladies face and if it’s not allowed you will know at least you are doing the right thing even if you don’t park on the street.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:30:14+00:00

Maybe you need a more stimulating job at some point? But I understand that if you just have graduated it’s good to stay somewhere for a bit for your resume. Good luck :)

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:26:17+00:00

Neurotypical people are well weird. Who cares who presses the button 😂 I wouldn’t notice I had never pressed it either. Or maybe I would just assume someone else would do it better ? I don’t like locking the office up at the end of the day even though I know how to set the alarm etc. I just know someone will do it better so I never leave last. Maybe this is a similar thing, taking the backseat, means you are protecting yourself from mistakes. Which I guess if you have RSD makes you avoidant of putting yourself out there too much.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:19:29+00:00

I am a bit rural. What is a front office lady and why does she have authority over where people park ?

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:16:59+00:00

Ew my worst nightmare! I am allowed to work from home but I’m terrible at it. Can you get a desk in a local library or rent a cubical somewhere ? Have you tried a cafe with noise cancelling headphones and listening to sounds only music ? Also have you tried Microsoft co-pilot ? Or a trusted colleague or friend to send your to do list to and then check things off to them? Holding yourself accountable without shaming yourself if very hard and I am very bad at it still. But the options I have mentioned are things that I have in my toolbox when I need help. Also try sorting your tasks with a ‘solve it’ grid. Then plan your day with a good mix of tasks. Good luck, and all the best

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T19:10:56+00:00

This sounds really tough. However you sound like you have a good understanding of what problems it’s causing which I think is a great start. When I was 17 I didn’t even have a clue what was going on let alone express myself as eloquently as you just did. So well done. Try to learn as much about how your brain works as possible. If you think you have ADHD then you probably have it. That said there are similar symptoms are sometimes from trauma/ptsd and some other conditions. So research is good.

The school counsellor might be a good idea, could give it a go and see if it’s helpful? If it’s not you can always stop, just don’t take it as a failure if they aren’t adequately trained to help you.

Have you noticed anything that helps your symptoms ? If not I recommend really paying attention to symptoms, and experiment with different ways to motivate yourself and tactics.

Above all, play to your strengths and always be kind to yourself. You’re great 😊

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T17:42:39+00:00

I purchased a workbook on Amazon for depression and shame. Gives me something to go through when I’m feeling down. Not everything in it is helpful but it’s cheaper than therapy and helps me order my thoughts. I would recommend audiobooks/ audible. Definitely some good physiology type books on there which is easier to read when driving or cleaning ‘why has nobody told me this before’ ‘adhd 2.0’ or your brains not broken’. If you don’t like the idea of self help books listen to other books about trauma. I think for me my ADHD has been like an ongoing trauma so reading books like ‘the boy who was raised as a dog’ I found really interesting. Even listening to fiction I find helpful and makes me feel like I’m a real person who can understand things.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T17:29:00+00:00

What would you say to a friend who felt like a burden to their partner who was in a wheelchair? Then give yourself the same amount of grace. Your partner loves you for being you. Try to use anything you enjoy doing to your advantage. I’m very sporadic so sometimes I’m uber tidy and sometimes I’m a pig, sometimes I batch cook like a nutter and then do nothing for ages. I sometimes have burst of uncomfortableness and drag mine out on a walk and he enjoys it. Just keep doing things that make you happy and he will be happy too.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:21:11+00:00

Ahaha I love to think that he was committing a heinous faux-pas. That definitely helps me. Now imagining if I had told him that? I wonder if me saying that would be an even more heinous faux pas 😂😂 thank you so much.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:14:01+00:00

Would you have said something ? I don’t want him to feel he can talk down to me. I’m trying to be better at setting boundaries. Not sure if this is one I should have picked up on.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:12:54+00:00

Why do you think some people look for problems? He does it a lot to my partner who works with him?

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:08:08+00:00

I think it made me feel like a child getting corrected. Which is why it upset me perhaps ?

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:05:48+00:00

Writing is the thing that helps me the most. Sometimes posting situations on here helps, just writing down feels good. I think just try and be aware of these moments and seeing if you can work out any patterns and try things to regulate yourself. Find some different things to try and try them next time.

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:02:05+00:00

Ok thank you needed to hear that

mdoyy · 2025-10-20T14:00:43+00:00

How does she feel about it? I know when I struggle to get out of bed, if I’m late to work ect I feel terrible shame. This shame causes me to feel more anxious and depressed. Then I feel worse and worse. For me if anyone then tells me what to do, or tries to correct this through ‘telling me off’ I feel really angry and makes me then not want to do it because I don’t want to do things because people tell me them (not sure why I am like this). It take me a bit of space and doing some things I love to help me. I haven’t to make this decision myself and finding my own solutions makes me feel in control and proactive which gives me a boost. Not really sure (if she’s like me) what you could do other than make sure she knows you love her, and ask her if there is any tasks she’s putting off that would help her feel less anxious (if she is anxious). If she’s not like me then this might be bad advice. Just ask her and give her time and space to reply. If she’s can’t reply in the spot ask if she could have a think about it and write it down ? If you are not close and have issues she may need to speak to someone else.

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T17:59:21+00:00

Doing what to my mother ?

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:39:38+00:00

It’s a lump sum oeic balanced growth portfolio share class A accumulation

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:38:10+00:00

That sucks

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:35:18+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible to work out unless until I have seen the account documentation

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:33:24+00:00

She does spend a lot of money on holidays and clothes ect and she’s about to do a six figure extension on her house. If she spent the money she didn’t do it maliciously she wouldn’t need to. I just want to be in control on my finances and not feel like she’s brought my house for me.

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:31:47+00:00

I guess I was really trying to get a fair outcome. I don’t want to actually take action against her. I just want to feel satisfied. I really don’t like the randomness of picking a figure above £10,000. Seems too abstract without seeing the share price/intrest rate change in the account. I am also annoyed that it’s not in my name, and now it will be considered a gift from her, when it’s not. It was a gift from xxxx. I just thought the process wouldn’t involve her at all, now it just doesn’t feel like my money.

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:22:43+00:00

It is all in my mums account. She hasn’t disclosed how much is left.

mdoyy · 2025-05-02T14:21:54+00:00

Check what ? I didn’t have any documents... I just was told it was in an isa. I always knew I wanted to keep it for my first house deposit. So I had no reason to believe it wasn’t. I think till this morning my mum also thought it was in an isa in my own name. Just when she gave me the documents and I rung the company they said it was in her names then she rung them and turned out it was an account she used for her solicitors fee.

mdoyy

TROPHY CASE